A man in Wales was arrested for getting naked and attempting to have sex with a Land Rover. Even more incredible? He goes by the self-proclaimed nickname "Hotcock."
Daniel Cooper, 24, was convicted of of indecent exposure.
Hotcock will not serve jail time, but has been banned from going outside between 7 p.m.-7 a.m. on Friday, Saturday and Sunday for the next three months.
The order stems from an August 18 incident where Cooper was caught on surveillance video getting naked and then grinding against a blue 4x4 Land Rover Discovery.
Cooper later told the court that he was so drunk at the time, he did not even remember the auto-erotic encounter (that was just too easy) until he saw the video.
The Land Rover was not available for comment at press time.
Sounds like it was truly an epic night for Hotcock, apparently.
Earlier in the evening, he was seen bumping and grinding on the counter of a kebab shop and simulating sex on the floor with his pants around his ankles.
He was also seen walking down the street with no pants.
Cooper, a father of three, also urinated in the streets. When he was arrested for nailing the Land Rover, he told police officers that he rarely drank.
His attorney, Gary Harvey, told the court that his client was mortified by his actions and that his behavior toward cars and kebab counters was out of character.
"He is a responsible family man who looks after the children while his wife went out to work" he said, the International Business Times reported.
He was also fined $134 for the infraction. Besides the sentencing and fine, Cooper can expect to hear about his drunken behavior for the rest of his life.
“Daniel will never live this down," one of his pals said. “He is not a pretty sight when naked. We all felt sorry for the Land Rover and hope it wasn’t offended.”