A tortoise in Great Britain has been found after escaping from his home's garden Thursday and spending five days trying to make a grand escape… only to travel a grand total of half a mile.
Seriously, these animals are slower than the time it's taken Kim Kardashian to release her baby photos.
Ironically, the pet is named Aston (after an Aston Martin) and its owner is hoping to contact the little girl who tracked him down from a bush at the end of the road.
If you have any information on her, e-mail editor (at) crawleynews.co.uk. In the meantime, watch this video for more on the daring turtle escape: