The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Who's Scamming Who?

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The Real Housewives of Miami returned for Season 3 with "Til Lies Do Us Part" and we recap all of the cast shakeups and marriage fake outs in our THG +/- review.

Cleavage Alert

It was out with the old and in with the not so new as dentist to the stars Karent Sierra was no where to be found and Alexia Echevarria was added on as a full time cast member.

Plus 10 because although Karent and her long distance Latin lover were interesting, Alexia's life looks like a train wreck. Love it or hate it I'm sure it will never be dull.

And given Alexia's family life I was surprised she signed on this season. Her one son is still recovering from a traumatic brain injury while the other is going around beating up the homeless and video taping it for kicks and giggles.

But instead of hanging her head in shame and despair, Alexia puts on her tight designer dress, a pair of Jimmy Choo's and hits the reality TV scene.

It takes all kinds.

Lisa Hochstein quipped that Alexia was now a part of the Three Musketeers along with Ana Quincoces and Marisol Patton. They all came together to help Adriana De Moura pick out a wedding gown but there wasn't much patience when the bride to be was late as Marisol said, "We need to pick that wedding dress and get the hell out of here."

Minus 15. With friends like these…

Adriana's got bigger issues. Turns out she and Frederic officially got married years ago. As someone who watched her wring her hands all last season over whether or not to marry the guy, all I can say is WTF!

She gave some lame excuse that they only got the marriage license but the papers show her as being legally married. That means there had to be a legal ceremony to accompany that license.

So if Adriana really wanted a church wedding what was the big rush to have a civil ceremony first? Minus 20. I smell a scam here.

Something about Frederic has always seemed a little off. He's got that old yacht that but it didn't look like there's been much progress made on the renovations since last season. And he's got the old vintage Rolls Royce that doesn't start.

Plus he's the one who bailed on the big event with Adriana the first time. Minus 9. Now that's just embarrassing.

And now Adriana's got wedding competition with Joanna Krupa but something seems off about her romantic bliss as well.

Joanna admitted that she and Roman hadn't had sex in a couple of months, yet he's buying her expensive cars?  I know this makes me a complete cynic but what or should I say who is the cause of the extravagant guilt gifts?

Minus 22. I'm just not buying that Roman hasn't had sex in two months and is still wearing that silly grin.

The ladies all came together for a summit meeting because everyone seemed to have problems with everyone else but Lea Black bailed at the last minute. Minus 15.

She's still angry at Adriana for not having her back at the reunion. As she said, "It's the silence of your friends that you remember."

Then again, Lea's busy with other things like remodeling her mansion and getting rid of the pity art she bought from Adriana so she'd make a commission.

With Lea MIA, Adriana decided to bicker with Joanna instead. That is until Marysol had enough.

First off, Plus 30 because the black Porsche Marysol drove up in was my favorite of the night. And another plus 15 for reminding the ladies how silly their constant cat fights really were.

Turns out Mama Elsa was in the hospital recovering from a brain hemorrhage. We wish her a speedy recovery. The Real Housewives of Miami just aren't the same without here.

EPISODE TOTAL: -46! SEASON TOTAL: -46!

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