This week on Duck Dynasty, the Robertsons built a hot tub for bald employee brethen Godwin, while Si told even more ridiculous stories than usual.
It all began with the guys installing a fishing dock for Jase, which leads Godwin to point out that he never asks for any favors ... then ask for a big one:
The Duck Commander "worker" wants a hot tub in his yard.
And thus, the episode "Hot Tub Grime Machine" was born.
Si, meanwhile, somehow turns this into a memory of a high school football game, in which a 135-pound Si took out a 197-pound player on a 9-0 team.
His team won 77-14 (give or take 40-50 points given the Si factor) ... and he recommends Epsom salts, Bengay and Vicks VapoRub for aches and pains.
Good to know. Now back to the hot tub!
Naturally, the plan here is to acquire a used one.
It's described as "a big bath tub with friends" by Willie, and "a bad idea," teaming with "measles, blisters, rashes, hepatitis" by Jase.
But this is Godwin, and he cannot be dissuaded.
They determined Squirrel's junkyard would be the best source for Godwin's $200 investment, which they place, naturally, in the man's front lawn.
Why? So he can "watch the cars go by."
The moment of truth: Godwin notes that the water is cold, but the jets work and it doesn't spring obvious leaks, so chalk that up to two out of three ain't bad.
Meanwhile, in a familiar theme, Phil believes his yuppie grandchildren "are suffering from a personality crisis," meaning "they don't have one."
And if you know anything about Phil, you know exactly how he'll fix that.
He feels he can help with a lesson in survival that also is a lesson in patience ... gathering mayhaw berries from the woods to make mayhaw jelly.
The fruit is a southern delicacy and has led to many mayhaw festivals. It ripens in May.
As patriarch Phil tells the kids: "The woods provide. Never doubt it."
You just know Miss Kay can make some MEAN Mayhaw Jelly, too.
Finally, this happened: