The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The Magical Dr. V

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are "On Thin Guid-Ice" as the retreat continues. We recap the drunken hugs and apologies in our THG +/- review.

Dr. V score some points as she quickly reduces Joe Gorga and Teresa Guidice to sobbing puddles. Plus 12. That didn't take long at all.

Hug It Out

But I wouldn't expect tearful hugs from everyone.

The good doctor marches back downstairs for her next victim and assures them all that she's not murdering anyone upstairs.  I don't think some in that crowd would have a problem if she were.

Dr. V brings Melissa Gorga in next.

Joe claims his wife is easy. Minus 8 for Joe. He obviously misunderstood. We weren't talking about in the bedroom.

Dr. V drags out all their dirty laundry. Melissa feels Teresa doesn't accept her as Joe's wife. Teresa feels Melissa rejected her after she married her brother….blah, blah, blah. Minus 14. We've heard all this before.

Then Melissa blurts out, "You call my husband a pussy because he's good to me." Plus 11. Now we're getting somewhere.

Tre laments that she doesn't spread rumors about Melissa being a lying, cheating, whore. It's just out there and people tell her things.  Thankfully Dr. V calls her out on her crap. "If you don't do anything, you're a dumb ass."  Plus 18.

If Melissa and Teresa acted like family and were a untied front then none of the garbage people said about either of them would matter.

There seems to be a breakthrough although it looks like it's more on Teresa's part than Melissa's as Tre tells her, "Come here, bitch" and she pulls her sister-in-law in for a hug.

Then Juicy Joe gets called to the sofa.

Did anyone else roll their eyes when Guidice complained he didn't like when Gorga called Teresa names?  This from the guy who dropped the c-word about his wife. Minus 20.

If anyone doesn't want to be there, it's Joe Guidice but Dr. V gets him to play along. He even tells his brother-in-law, "Sorry I betrayed you. Get over it."  

In this family, that's considered progress. Plus 30.

With a tentative truce called, Dr. V takes off…and Kathy Wakile's pissed. Why didn't she get her turn on the good doc's couch?

Hate to break it to you Kathy but no one here really cares about your issues. Minus 14.

Later, the boys and Rosie head out ice fishing while the ladies stay behind to cook. Got to say I'm with Caroline on this one, "I ain't Jesus. Water ain't meant to be walked on."

Plus, whenever you put the two Joes together, you never know what could happen. It doesn't take long for the two to start sniping at one another.

Gorga relays his version of the fight, "I'm digging for his balls and I couldn't find them," and then "when your dick's the size of two inches, you get upset."

Umm, is this his usually fight strategy?

Plus 22 because the look on the ice fisherman's face was priceless.

The guys were so loud I'm sure they scared all the fish away but at least they made it back to land with all body parts intact.

Back at the castle, Teresa and Kathy were making dinner and Melissa was getting soused. Dinner was pretty uneventful unless you count Joe Gorga throwing Melissa over his shoulder as she yelled, "I'm a whore" on the way up the stairs.

Plus 12. No one's arguing that point.

A few side notes:

  • The 1990s called Joe Gorga. They want their Poison t-shirt back.
  • Ladies, stop with the evil tweets. If you've got something to say, do it face to face.
  • Why does Richie keep feeling up Rosie?
  • Speaking of Rosie, is she ever without a Scotch in her hand?

But leave it to Juicy Joe to surprise us. He tells Teresa to get over her tiff with Jacqueline and put it behind her. He wants his friendship with Chris back. Aww.

Even Caroline gets Tre to promise to try and mend fences with Jacqueline. But how will she pull that off when Jacqueline still considers Teresa an evil witch?

We'll just have to tune in next week to find out.

EPISODE TOTAL: +49! SEASON TOTAL: -333!

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Lol this is a reality show...it's funny to see how many people believe the liberal mafia.. Lmao.. The news doesn't provide true stuff it's just what people wanna hear! It's not like reporters.swear under oath when writing stories etc?? Lmao reality shows are simply a way to escape our lives, I won't pass judgement on Miss Teresa, Joe, and their family?! Its just a show!! Let alone won't believe the news lmao that too is a joke! Lol Time for people toget busy doing something positive :)I like Teresa and her husband.. They do a good job on the ""show" cute couple / cute family

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Teresa & Joe G are two lying thieves ... watch the outcome when they turn on each other because as the expression goes, " There's no honor amongst thieves."

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IMO -- Caroline snitched and secretly worked with law enforcement and other officials to take the Guidice's down, even though they probably didn't need Caro's "help." I think she's a busybody, just like a high-school girl trying to fix everyone and pretending she has it all together and knows what is best, but not really sure what to do. She drove almost 5-hrs to Upstate NY to stick her nose in their biz and to keep a green eyeball on things ... not to "help." They DID NOT need her there. IMO -- I suspect the Feds paid Caro to stay close to the Guidice's to get additional 'inside info' for them. Caro is a childish, self-serving butinsky with secret agendas just like a stupid immature 16 yr-old teen girl. IMO - Shame on Dr V. She knows NPD, narcissism CANNOT be fixed and is at the core of the issues -- you can't fix crazy, even if you have lots of $$$$$. Teresa got Dr V involved and pretended to be making an effort to be kind and loving b/c when one is locked-up behind bars it's a whole lot better to have helpful contacts and friends on the outside, than to have no friends and mostly enemies in the outside world. Tre needs them now more than they need her. So now she is kissing up to them so they will feed her info and updates while in the slammer -- where IMO she's going for at least a few yrs. But, come the day Tre doesn't need the Gorgas or Lauritas or Wakile's or Rosie for anything is the day she will start being abusive to them all over again. Typical NPD narcissist. IMO -- Shame on Dr V for taking credit when Tre was just pretending b/c she's going to need all the help she can get while in prison. If it weren't for her legal troubles she'd still be fighting, blaming and tearing everyone apart. The Gorgas fell for her BS. Tre HAS NOT changed and Dr V knows it.

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I am not surprised at all about this issue with Joe and Teresa. I knew something was up in the beginning when they started having problems with their finances in the 1st season. Now the truth comes out.I saw all those wads of cash she was carrying around and believe me, this was a red flag. They just didn't seem to have it together as being good business people so of course they cheat the hell out of the Government. I knew when everyone was worried & they were trying to help them, they were trying to give them advice to stop screwing up. Teresa got caught up in the Keeping up with the Jones's crap and she is so terribly jealous of everyone she was so awful and mean to them. Caroline stated on Season 4 that things weren't adding up to her because it all seemed off.. Now I know what she knows and what she was figuring out about Teresa. I think they all knew but they didn't know the extent. Who would want to be associated with criminals who will most likely go to jail? I surely don't feel sorry for them.What they did was disgusting & I also see why Joe was in such a shitty mood all the time. I think Mego and Joe are also probably knee deep in some shit because she's living in a house they DO NOT OWN..driving a Bentley they do not own. Joe is driving an SUV Porche they do not own.They're liars..and for that family to think it was remotely okay for them to do this and stand by their side is just disgusting. Breaking the law is okay Huh? Well when the Feds throw them in the slammer believe me, I even wonder if they will realize how bad the ramifications of what they've done is going to do to their lives.. They will seize their homes, cars, all the belongings in the house to pay back the Govt and to pay off all the creditors they owe from here to friggin Italy. Joe isn't even a citizen. They should be ashamed. they have young daughters and this is one hell of a great impression to put on them. I think Gabriella secretly just can't stand them.They speak ill of everyone in front of those girls and this is why they've picked up on everything.. Gia knows what's up. 12 or not when I was her age I knew what the hell was up..Kids are smart..they know what's up. She as well as the other 3 daughters will hear about this in school. Those kids will be relentless...and I'm sure more will come out.. Wesley Snipes millionaire and actual celeb went to jail, Lauren Hill just went to jail and Sophia Loren even spent 30 days in jail for tax issues. but 37 counts of fraud..they're going to jail.they pissed off so many people they won't have the money to get out of any of this mess.They will have to go to jail.. are you kidding? How atrocious and how fake are they?? Disgusting...

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Its funny how caroline really helped fuck up the family last year and now wants to be a peacemaker? I do believe melissa has done dirt undercover she's always trying to quiet a lot of the same kind of rumors about her cheating whoring ways..jaqueline

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Teresa should stop her game she is the most hated person she make everyone out to be the bad ones but she really is .you can't believe what she said and her kids are listing to everything they say so they thing everyone is wrong but there mom and dad are right that is not good for the kids. Teresa and Joe sure go to jail

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@ Sandy

Sandy so agree ..Tre never ever has taken any responsibility for anything she's done wrong to her sweet as hell cousin Kathy. Rosie should just beat the hell out of Tre for treating Kathy so bad when Kathy is so sweet and trying so hard. Now that she sees this, I hope Kathy just days to hell with her because she's not worth her breath.. Tre, her cousin HUGE CRIMINAL. I don't believe she wasn't aware of this because sociopath Tre signed all the bank apps saying she was an admin asst to get a $125,000 loan from a bank to pay for her selfish Christian Loubitan, $1,500 a pair on up and I see her wearing them all the time. Her shoe collection alone is worth thousands..her clothes are horridly ugly and trashy and Kim D's so -called boutique is a dump full of cheap looking crap that makes Good Will look like Neiman Marcus..ugh!! a woman in her 50's and has a kid and loves to fuck up everyone because she's a miserable bitch who can't get on the show as a regular character. She has enough botox on her can't move face.. Jeez everyone but Kathy who is so pretty naturally has botoxed themselves out to death..jax looks insane, she can't stop talking about tre & she was a stripper .. Mego, cheek implants on her face and botox galore. they stated her sisters were too trashy looking to be on the show any longer. She has all those ugly tattoos I saw on her at Mego's so called probably borrowed beach house..these people are all going to come out as owing so much money to everyone that the show is going to have to be canceled because of the fact they'll all be in jail, I truly believe Mego was a stripper, so forth so on..she didn't work as a teacher except for 1 damn day and then immediately started having kids. She's trash..

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..........women love Ladies?

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