Here Comes Honey Boo Season 2 Premiere: Sucking Like Money Balls

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She's back, folks.

Alana Thompson and her family returned to TLC last night for the Season 2 premiere of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, still residing in McIntyre, Georgia and still dining on road kill.

And still reciting the kinds of quotes that make us both cringe and laugh, of course.

Honey Boo Boo on Season 2

So what better way to recap the premiere than to simply rundown the best (worst?) lines from this week's episode. Thanks to TLC subtitles, it's easy to do so!

“Not having my phone really sucks, like monkey balls. Feel like I’m back in, like, medieval times, because when they had black and white TV, when there was no cell phones… I don’t see how anyone lasted. - June Shannon

“You fart in your hand, and throw it at your enemy’s face.” - Honey Boo Boo on her wrestling move, the Cup-A-Fart

"My road kill wish list is a rabbit, a hamster, a monkey. They go crazy. A bird, a butterfly, a porcupine. Because you can pick your teeth with the quills. And… a wild pig. Raccoon. A gopher. A helephant. A lion. This is making he hungry, too.” - Honey Boo Boo

"I like go-karts. Who don’t like go-karts? Go karts rhyme with go-farts." - Honey Boo Boo

“I just closed my eyes, imagined Daisy Duke, and started whacking it.” - Sugar Bear, on a piñata

"If you wanna romance me and you wanna get in my pants, per se - new crockpot, new deep fryer, might get you to first base." - June Shannon

Now if you'll excuse us. We must go vomit.

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THE WRITER WHO SAID SHE WANTS TO GO VOMIT AFTER READING THE COMMENTS FROM HONEY BOO BOO IS SO RIGHT. AND THE FACT THAT MILEY CYRUS "OBSESSED' WITH SHANNON..WHATEVER,... FIGURES!!. BOTH ARE THE EPITOME OF IGNORANCE AND EXPLOITATION BY AND TO OTHERS POOR HONEY BOO BOO SHOULD BE PUT IN PROTECTIVE CUSTODY. THIS CHILD DOESNT STAND A CHANCE. MILEY CYRUSFATHER IS TOO WEIRD REGARDING HIS DAUGHTER "SEXINESS". ALTHO LOOKING AT THAT VIDEO EXCERPT. IS MORE LAUGHABLE AND RIDICULOUS, THAN "SEXY".. WHAT'S WITH THE BIG TEETH AND SEPENTS TONGUE..MAYBE I JUSTNOT COOL, I HOPE I'M NOT..IF THAT RIDICULOUS CRAP IS "COOL" OR "SEXY". THESE PEOPLE DON"T KNOW WHAT SEXY IS..SEXY IS TENDERNESS, INTIMACY, TRUST..NOT ACTING LIKE A MANIC FROTHY ANIMAL.. PARTICULARLY HILARIOUS WAS THE GUYWITH STREAM COMING OUT OF HIS CROTCH..LIKE I SAID BEFORE...PATHETIC IGNORANCE!!!

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CHILD ABUSE...........

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All the more reasons not to watch this show.

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This family is hilarious! It would be a hoot to hang out with them for a day.

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this kid will have a terrible youth due her fatness, I think.