Dad's Open Letter to Son on Marriage Equality Goes Viral

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A straight father's open letter to his young son regarding last week's landmark Supreme Court rulings has gone viral, and it's easy to see why.

SCOTUS Ruling Day

His four-year-old boy clearly has no concept of the Supreme Court or the significance of its decisions, as Brian Gresko of The Babble points out.

The bigger question is whether the SCOTUS striking down DOMA and dismissing Prop 8 will be seen as a watershed moment when he does get it.

It's a touching letter about what a father hopes will be a teachable moment someday, and emblematic of his desire for our children to inherit a better world.

Read what Gresko has to say below:

Dear Felix,

Your mom and I put off taking you for a blood test because, honestly, we figured you didn't really need it, that the doctor's concerns about the level of lead in your body were the routine kind of doctor's orders we could ignore.

Doc has since corrected us of that misconception, stressing the importance of the blood test. (And we wonder where your stubbornness comes from.) Ok, point taken. So, at least a year late, this morning we walked in to get your blood work done just as the waiting room television cut to the steps of the Supreme Court Building, where the announcement came that the Court had ruled 5-4 to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), declaring the law baring the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages unconstitutional.

You're four-years-old as I write this. You seem to react to adults who make good eye contact, speak with animation, get down to your level to talk to you, and ask you questions that you understand and then listen to your answers. You click with men, you click with women, and as far as I can remember you only asked once about why one of your best friends has two mommies. When I told you that couples come in all combinations - woman and woman, man and woman, man and man - you nodded and that was that. No big deal.

So sitting with you in the waiting room, I had one of those moments of double-ness that parents sometimes have, as I thought about the news and what it meant, watched the happy reactions from the crowd of marriage equality supporters, and wondered what celebration might be going on in other parts of New York City, all while talking with you about the upcoming blood test and reading you a story. I didn't explain what was happening on the television, and you didn't ask. I figured the time will come soon enough - probably too soon for my liking - when you'll be aware of the politics around sex and gender and sexual orientation.

Or maybe you won't. Hopefully, these issues will be moot in seven years time, or ten years, whenever you become aware of your sexual self (let's go with ten years, eh?) and begin to find other people compelling in ways that will, at first, probably seem strange or mysterious. (For example, I didn't notice girls had legs till eighth grade. Before then, I'm not sure how they got around, their mobility was no concern of mine. Suddenly, when springtime came and the skirts came out, their long, skinny, graceful limbs became vitally important. And yet I had no idea why. I just found them… fascinating. I knew they were key characters, I just hadn't figured out what the story was about yet.) Maybe you'll read about today's decision in a history book and it'll sound like a long time ago, the Dark Ages, when certain couples could marry and certain couples could not. You'll feel comfortable pursuing whatever kind of partnership interests you, no matter the person's gender, or color, or race, or class, or belief system, or whatever, and live in a country in which you can join in the legal state of matrimony with that lucky person.

I hope that by then American society will have a better understanding of what I saw all so plainly today. That if you prick our skin, the same red blood flows through all of our veins. These differences in appearance and behavior and belief in many ways are trivial, surface. How you treat other people, your stewardship of our planet and society and yourself as a functioning, contributing human on Earth, matters so much more than who you'd like to date, have sex with, or marry. As Kurt Vonnegut so succinctly put it, "You've got to be kind."

Other than that? Have fun, kid. And while this marriage thing sure ain't easy - in fact, I don't wish it on anyone who doesn't feel ready, 100% sure they want to make their commitment into a socially recognized, legal bond - I'm happy knowing that if, one day, you think you're ready to take the plunge, you can do it with whomever the hell you want. And I'll be right there (unless you decide to elope like your mom and me decided, which is totally cool too), cheering you on and wishing you well, no matter whose hand you're holding when you say "I do."

Love ya kid,

Dad.

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aidan http://www.flixya.com/blog/549...

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BRAVO! the voice of compassion and commonsense.
I've frequently wondered just what RIGHT other humans have to
impose their wrong-headed views on others. Apparently, the
formal attire of the Supreme Court members gives them that
right - much like that of the Nazi uniform. Their appalling decision
to vote against same-sex marriage is a ludicrous and wicked
example of a group of narrow-minded POWERFUL invididuals. who

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Supper Dan

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OK ,, LIVESTOCK :: 1. THE COURT BRANCH OF THE FEDERAL GOV HAS NO POWER TO MAKE OR BREAK LAWS ... GET REAL. 2. SODOMY IS A CRIME AGAINST NATURE AND I IS A CRIME EVERYWHERE ... WHEN A COUNTRY BECOMES INFESTED WITH SUBHUMANS WHOM INFILTRATE PUBLIC SYSTEMS .. THEN PROMOTION OF PERVS AND THE MAD IDEA OF SODOMY "MARRIAGE" FOLLOWS AS AN EXPERESSION OF CRIMINALITY AND DESTRUCTION .. AND SUCH A PEOPLE ARE DOOMED ... ARE OF INFERIOR QUALITY AAA LACK THE TO WORHTY OF CONTINUANCE . 3. THIS IS A HOMO THAT IS ENDANGERING THE WELFARE OF A MINORR ... YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE THE BROWN SKIN . SHOE POLISH BLACK HAIR OF THE JEW - ARAB GREASEBALL TERRORIST SUBHUMAN .... PREDICTABLE .

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NewChapter- I agree. The "open letter" is just awful. I'm so fed up with our country. I'm a married woman, and I am just fed up with our govt on SO many levels right now! I cannot believe an Americans Civil Rights have to be voted on??? I consider myself a believer in God, and yet I am American. American does NOT mean Christian- only. The constitution has been written to include ALL and give certain rights to ALL, yet, these rights are still only being given to some because CHRISTIANS have a problem with it. WTF?!?! So wrong!! I'm over this. Give EVERYONE their rights, and let's get to the bigger issues. This is a big issue but only because it's been denied for SOOO painfully long.

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Please all, allow me this observation... As a gay man who has been out of the closet for almost 30 years, I have seen my fair share, but no more than those that came and triumphed the hardships before me. Yes, these letters are great with sentiment and tearjerking memories, with more and more hitting the waves of the internet stream. But I'm really tired of this "open letter from dad" anonymous bullpuckie. This letter, like others, reads of pathetic storytelling. And as an open gay male, such letters detract from the real victories. Now allow me this a bit of stupidity in observations of why I read this letter as fake... because let's face it, reality *IS* reality... -and REALLY think hard before you respond: #1 Doctor tells you your child may have led poisoning - and you take a year to get your child's bloodwork done!? [And, before you even left your doctor's appointment, originally where the blood test was ordered, you made a follow-up appointment. I'm pretty sure the receptionist made sure of that. NOTE: I will excuse the fact that your pediatrician didn't automatically have the nurse/phlebotomist take the blood at that time. Lead poisoning *is* pretty serious stuff, after all... But with all that being said...] #2 You get the bloodwork done a year later? The doctor's order for such tests would have been cancelled by that time. and/or #3 You get your, now, 4 year old's bloodwork done outside the site your child's/pediatric doctor's office, hence an adult clinic where blood is drawn? How would I come up with that conclusion? There's CNN playing on a TV. #4. If you were at ANY location where children get their blood drawn, CNN is not playing on a TV, cartoons are playing. #5. just at about 3 years of age, a child's development is finally able to understand complex instructions ["Would you please get the apple and put it into the basket".] Yes - children are fast learners... but I'm finding it very hard to believe that this 4 year old has now jumped to fully understanding the concepts of sexuality to ask about why one of his best friends has 2 mommies. This would now introduce into the picture that this 4 year old has a best friend, presuming the same age, that ALSO understands full sexuality concepts where it was communicated between the two at some time. And on that note: IF it is granted that it is a fully understood concept between both children involved, I'm confident that the child (the one addressed in this letter), would have blatantly and outright asked about it of his best friend... note: children are a bit blunt around that age in their questioning. God love children... But stop making them the unwitting of propoganda. We have MANY successes to celebrate, with many more "fights" for future successes to win and celebrate. BUT - STOP WITH THE PROPOGANDA!

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@ NewChapter

y 7 year old asked me why his uncle liked men I told him some men love men some women love women but thats what's beautiful about love. Its not controlled its felt. My son said "makes scense" and left it at that. Dont underestimate kids sometimes a simple explaination is more than trying to break it down. Who cares if this propaganda and you don't know if it is or not. Many parents have to answer tough questions but they answer them.

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@ alicia

It says they were testing because the doctor was concerned about the levels of lead in the son's body. There could be MANY reasons for that. To assume it is lead poisoning is moronic. Sorry, but read before you comment, because you called it anonymous when it's not as well. You just formulated an opinion and went on a tirade without actually reading.

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@ alicia

I have no intention of taking your entire comment on just the issues that I feel I can address. You said this letter was anon..well if you read the beginning the authors name is Brian Gresko..it states that plainly. There are adult programs playing in ped office...there are always adults there. In many the TV has adult programs and there are reading material and toys for the kids. And lastly there was no mention of sexuality in the childs question...just plain old why are there 2 mommies...and 4 year olds has besties and that is an absolutely viable question for even younger kids. You put the sexual aspect on the question...not the boy. I am not really arguing with your statement just pointing out what my experiences have shown me that differ in what you express. As others....I'm just saying.

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my best friend's step-sister makes $72 every hour on the internet. She has been fired for eight months but last month her payment was $13264 just working on the internet for a few hours. Read more on this site...www.Rush64.ℂℴm

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Cheering F*ggots Again?

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@ abe

What? Did you do something for us to cheer about?

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P.S. - if you get divorced, he'll hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned!

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