A desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua.
That's how Charlie Sheen describes Farrah Abraham in an epic rejection letter after she leaked their text messages from earlier in the week.
What's he rejecting her from, you ask? His company, life, the planet ... who knows honestly. But he clearly wants nothing to do with her AT ALL.
Here's what Sheen wrote to Farrah Abraham:
hey, you desperate guzzler of stagnant douche agua;
I truly do not recall giving you permission to globally reveal any communication between us. congrats on surviving your lobotomy and an even bigger congratz on the recent attempt at porn.
your daughter must be so proud.
please send my number to middle earth and if allowed, eagerly follow it into said abyss and slam the door behind you. the world will collectively sigh as the pungent memory of you vanishes into the pedestrian troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life.
oh and I'm sure they'll wave the cover charge when they see your tranny-boobs and five o'clock shadow.
ROFL. Wow. Sheen's letter is an all-timer, even by Warlock standards. We're gonna guess no one in the troposphere of lame-suck and zero-life is #WINNING.
If you missed it, Farrah reached out to Charlie via text message last month, looking for a role on Anger Management, and/or a play date with their kids.
Sheen responded positively, agreeing to meet up, however that hadn't happened yet and sure as hell isn't going to now that she pulled this stunt.
Of course, much like her sex tape spin, the pathological liar will probably say her phone was hacked and it wasn't her who leaked the texts to the world.
That's how she rolls.