Meredith Phillips, a former model and star of The Bachelorette in 2004 (it's been on that long), is opening up to People about her battle with alcoholism.
Phillips can't help but complain about the 10 lbs. she'd like to lose, as she's the first to admit she's a little hard on herself. But she also has perspective.
"I need to get back in the gym. I should really be taking better care of myself," she says. "But I really can only focus on one thing at a time right now."
Her primary focus has been far more challenging than logging time on a treadmill. Until six months ago, Phillips, 39, was in the throes of alcoholism.
Now, she's 150 days sober and struggling to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
"For years I'd wake up every day feeling like I was hit by a truck," says Phillips, who, at her worst, was drinking more than 20 bottles of wine a week.
Yes, a week. That meant almost daily blackouts for the reality star.
"But I realized I was going to kill myself," she says. "There wasn't another path for me other than to stop. I'm finally starting to live my life again."
Good for her. And for the latest on the new season starring Desiree Hartsock, read The Bachelorette spoilers ... if you want the ending given away.