Maryland Sorority Girl Email: Delta Gamma Board Member UNLOADS on Sisters in Epic Rant

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A University of Maryland sorority girl recently penned an email to her (apparently underperforming) fellow Delta Gamma sisters that defies comprehension.

Sometimes, when sorority girls are "LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD" or "so f--king BORING" or a "g-ddamn c-ck block for the chapter," well ...

You gots to lay the smack down. Hard.

  • University of Maryland Sorority Girl
  • Maryland Sorority Girl

The expletive-laden and CAPS LOCK-ridden email tirade, sent to the entire sorority chapter, is an all-timer. Hilarious, sad, scary, even offensive.

What prompted this? Evidently, the girls' inability to participate in Greek Week activities with fraternity Sigma Nu to the satisfaction of the board.

Their shortcomings? You're going to have to read for yourself, as an executive board member of the sorority (allegedly pictured above) let them have it.

UPDATE: The author, Rebecca Martinson, has since resigned. Her first name was initially changed in the version of the email that circulated below.

Read her entire email after the jump:

    If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you’re sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.

    For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I’ve been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Julia, I’ve been having so much fun with my sisters this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don’t have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.

    I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that’s not fucking possible if you’re going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON’T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you’re an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That’s not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you’re mentally slow so I can make sure you don’t go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said “Yeah we’re gonna invite Zeta over”, would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn’t, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN’T be post gaming at other frats, I don’t give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON’T GO. YOU. DON’T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

    “But Julia!”, you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, “I’ve been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn’t that count for something?” NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN’T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN’T COUNT BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I’ve not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like “durr what’s kickball?” is not fucking funny), but I’ve gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don’t give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it’s time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don’t give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.

    “Ohhh Julia, I’m now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad”. Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you’re a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

    DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT’S EVENT.

    I’m not fucking kidding. Don’t go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I’ve mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you’re unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me “Oh nooo boo hoo I can’t talk to boys I’m too sober”, then I pity you because I don’t know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don’t fucking show up unless you’re going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight’s event, I will tell you to leave even if you’re sober. I’m not even kidding. Try me.

    And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don’t give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.

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To begin with, that was some R-A-N-T. Anyway, I was N-O-T impressed by it. At all. To me, that Julia chick sounds like a stuck-up/snot-nosed BITCH ON WHEELS...with OUT OF CONTROL issues...YIKES!!!!! I feel so sorry for her parents because I have a feeling that Julia was probably such a handful as a child back in the day. Bottom Line: Julia needs to take some kind of chill pill (or whatever)...ASAP!!!!!

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Hey DG chick who wrote this, all I have to say is bravo. That letter was perfect, you really do have a way with swearing in written form. That as your cover letter would get you in the door at most investment banks. I also sympathize with your message. We can all pretend to be progressive and PC, but seriously, why are some people social fucking retards in every situation. I was on the other end of some bad Greek mixers when I was in college, and to be honest, banging one of you is great, but I was probably going to get so drunk that wouldn't have been possible any given night, so really I just wanted you to be hot and relatively interested in me until I got so drunk I couldn't function. You get that. I don't want you to be funny, or intelligent at a "mashup", that's why I have actual friends - the point of a mixer is enhancing your organization's social value. And that can't happen if your sisters are being unattractive or worse annoying. Anyway, thank you for writing this because if a man had, he would currently be in jail, I think you made some legit death threats in there.

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Please kill yourself if you think this idiots email is even funny. University of Maryland? She'll be j'd by sundown...

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I originally read this post on another site
But they did not have her picture
Holy hell! That little cussing machine is hot!
I'd bang her down to a nub while she spews a steady stream of obscenities at me any day!

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i have that teal/green dress ^^ and good for her i like her style of thinking lol

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@ linsey

the teal/green dress looks like something you can buy at Frederick's of Hollywood. it's hideous. if you do own it, you should burn it IMMEDIATELY.

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Wow wow wow. Wait. Let me get this straight. She's mad at the other girls for not socializing properly?? REALLY?? "Oh em gee, Julia! Those girls better, like, get kicked out of the soro immediately! Let's kiss up to the dumba** frat boys and make them wanna do us every single night because that's, like, all we're good for, Julia!" Julia needs to go back to the 1800s. Seriously.

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@ Kisa

you didn't sign up for sorority life kisa - they did

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That. was. awesooome! That is my type of hellion girl. The cunt punch line was the best.

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THAT ugly little girl is ranting at the others. News flash, find better looking girls or it will make no difference.

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Hot and deranged. She'll have a reality show by Monday.

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@ JCT

LOOOL

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