Throwing everything against the wall in hopes that something will stick, Lindsay Lohan's attorney says she is going to seek help - and devote time and money to helping others.
Mark Heller, filed a motion requesting that Lohan's probation-violation case be put on the "slow track" so she can pursue "certain activities which will benefit her."
Ones which will make her a "productive and responsible contributor to society."
We just have to ask: Does he know who his client is?
Heller says this multifaceted plan includes psychotherapy sessions, public-service efforts and a proposal to establish a foundation benefiting young people.
"Lindsay has asked me to facilitate an in-person meeting… not to discuss the merits of her [legal defense], but rather for Lindsay to introduce herself," he writes.
She wishes to "help in the process of our determining what the best course would be for her future and to personally affirm her commitment and dedication to fix the problems."
It's true, Lindsay Lohan is nothing if not dedicated.
He promoses she "will gladly be participating in intensive psychotherapy" and will be "contributing her time to the production of public-service messages."
In addition, she'll make "periodic visits to schools, hospitals and venues to provide inspirational talks, encouraging children to pursue positive goals and avoid bad habits."
Try not to roll on the floor laughing if you're in public, okay people?
LiLo's "finally made a decision to turn her life around," he says.
Heller also says she's "exploring the establishment of a Lindsay Lohan Foundation" whose goal is to "provide a nonprofit program to benefit young people."
As we reported earlier in the week, he wants charges against Lohan dropped in the car crash/lying to cops case because she wasn't read her rights.
Gonna have to do better than that, Mark, although the attorney is reportedly working on a new plea deal that would somehow keep her out of jail as well.
That could be struck any moment, supposedly. Stay tuned.