The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: The Evil Side of the Sofa

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The Real Housewives of Miami come back for the second and thankfully, the final "Reunion" show of the season because who can get enough of women dressed in sequins screeching obscenities at one another from cushy sofas?

We run down all the rehashing and rumors in THG's +/- recap!

The Evil Side

We jump back in to the fight between Adriana and Joanna. Adriana claims Joe Francis gave her the whole sordid scoop and Joanna's a whore. Minus 15.

Well, if Joe Francis said it how could it not be true?

Joanna sets the record straight. She was a cohost for a Girls Gone Wild video, she starred in a tickle fetish video when she was 19 and she's posed nude for Playboy twice.  Does that make her a whore?  Hmm…she won't be winning any purity awards but labeling her a whore is taking it a bit far.

Of course she does have issues with people stealing her naked image for their own use…I bet!  Marysol wonders why she never has these problem. Minus 10. I think she's joking but with Marysol it can be a little hard to tell. Maybe it's all of the Botox.

The conversation turns back to the slap heard throughout Miami and Joanna says she regrets having too much to drink. Adriana admits she regrets having gotten physical with her and Plus 20 as a moment of Kumbaya is born.

Of course this is The Real Housewives so it doesn't last long.

Alexia graces us with her presence. Minus 18. I was kind of grateful we had so little of her this season although I am sorry that it took her son's accident to keep her away.

Plus 30 that it sounds like he's recovering better than anyone expected.

But let's talk about his older brother, Peter. Alexia says that his brother's accident affected him so badly that it caused the 20 year to go out and beat up a homeless man, record the incident and post it on Facebook.  Minus 40.

Alexia says he's made some bad decisions. Ya think? 

And just when I think no one can show more cleavage than Ana on this reunion show, Alexia proves me wrong. Minus 13. If she wants to show that much of her breasts in public why doesn't she just take her top off completely? There really isn't much else to hide.

Speaking of Ana, when did she become such a b*tch?  All season long, all she did was sob about her ex but now all she does is snark at Lea about her age. Minus 11 because her "old and the restless" comments are already tiresome. 

Alexia, Ana, and Marysol jump back on the we hate Karent bandwagon for one last ride but this time Karent has some vindication.  The blogger who posted the "Botox for brains" comments that had everyone in such an uproar has supposedly retracted those statements saying they didn't come from Karent.

Plus 20. At least Adriana has the decency to apologize.  The evil threesome just huddle on their sofa looking for other reasons to hate Karent and her wicked smile.

They continue to bash Karent and Rodolfo even though the two are broken up. Ana claims everyone in Miami knows Rodolfo is really gay but ten minutes earlier she said he was in to 24 year old women. Minus 15. Which is it?

Nevermind. As long as the Latin soap star is long gone, I don't really care.

Thankfully the end is near.

  • Lisa and Lenny are still working on having a baby.
  • Karent promises to keep on smiling.
  • Ana may still be in love with her ex and I still don't care.
  • Marysol swears she's moved on from Phillipe.
  • Adriana is still planning a Spring wedding.
  • And now that  Joanna and Romain are on again, she wants the fairy tale wedding of her dreams.

Lastly, Lea proclaims that reality TV brings out the best or the worst in people.  Minus 12. Did I miss the best somewhere?

Oh, and Momma Elsa makes an appearance and tells Andy she feels lots of false energy coming off of those sofas.  Plus 18. I can't say she's wrong there but I don't think it took any psychic powers to figure it out.

And with that the screeching ceases…until next season.

EPISODE TOTAL = -46! SEASON TOTAL: -382!

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If that TIRED LEA BLACK don't stop with that irritating laugh, every time she talks, l put the tv on mute!

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What happened? Ana, who wasn't at all relevant, desparatey trying to stay on the show by becoming alpha bitch. Someone should tell her that making age-related insults will come back to her in a few years. Nasty!
Adriana is so full of herself, she is jealous of anyone getting more attention. Joanna, a real beauty, has gorgeous Roman while Adriana has Frederik. Need I say more?
Alexia, the consummate mother figure, dresses like a prostitute but we are supposed to believe that her sons just made "bad decisions" & are not spoiled by her & her sugar daddy husband who probably figures its worth every penny as long as he can pretend his "trophy wife" loves him for himself.
I can't believe I felt sorry for Leah for being abused by the "new" Ana (no wonder hubby begged for a divorce).
Karent is annoying & an opportunist but methinks her detractors are jealous of her stealing some of their lmelight.
Marisol seems sincere but she's going to end up like her mother if she doesn't lay off the botox. She can hardly move her mouth now.
On a positive note, I hope Lisa can have a child. I think she is sincere about wanting one..

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Lea, why did you allow Ana to get away with that "on your back" comment? Ask her what she has done sitting, standing, sideways, on her back or crawling? oh! she raised 2 socially adequate kids and was married for a minute. He is now fucking somenone else who is in a better position. hahahahahahahah

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I wonder if Ana being snarky with Lea has to do with them signing on for a season 3. I personally wish this season would have shown more of the story behind Adrianna and her farce of a marriage, but again I think that will be saved for season 3. My DISH co-worker and I are more interested in a Mama Elsa spinoff; I missed part two of the reunion but I recorded it on my DISH Hopper and will check it out tonight. It’s nice having over 2,000 hours of entertainment space and since my family likes to watch their favorite programs at the same time I do, I can watch this episode in my bedroom while they watch their show in the living room at the same time, so no more fighting over the TV.

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@ Georgia

You're riDISHulous!!

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All the housewife are Lovely but mamma F.is so smart i love her i feel sorry for Andy right in the middle he looks to his left and to right love the show

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Mama Elsa, Or Elsa is the the only person false on the show. She is no psychic!!!! She would have known that the surgeon would ruin her face before she went under the knife... She is such a quack. and how dare her refer to karent as #3. so rude and disrespectful, even though Karent can be so annoying. I really like Adriana and Ana but they came off as really evil in the reunion.

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@ Richie

I love Adrianna, Marisol and, Ana the most. I like women who stand for something.
When Ana let Lea know that she heard from Joe Fransis, himself, that he and Lea had planned to start drama with Joanna at Lisa's house. I wish Lea and Joanna would stop fighting Karent's battles. Karent"s too busy trying to secure a spot as "fan favorite", so much so, that she's NOT being real. Instead Karent comes off phony and desperate.

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@ Richie

Maybe Mama Elsa referred to Karent as #3 because she couldn't remember her name, She does drink a lot!

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@ Richie

If Adriana came off as realy evil is because she is.