The Bachelor Recap: Punk'd!

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Having trimmed the field from 26 to 19 in last Monday's premiere, Sean Lowe resumed his quest for Mrs. Right in the second episode of The Bachelor Season 17.

Did Sean come into his own this week, or is he still reserved as he gets to know the aspiring wives?

Who produced the most drama tonight? What kind of absurd dates were we subjected to?

Bachelor Sean Lowe

Will it work out for Sean? Check out The Bachelor spoilers if you're impatient and want to know ... then follow along for THG's Season 17 Episode 2 recap!

Shirtless Sean, right off the bat. Plus 10. And Plus 5 for the shower scene. 

Chris has the first date card. Kristy the model steps up to open it and doesn't have her arms clawed off. Way to show restraint, ladies! 

Sarah gets the first date and Sean picks her up in a helicopter. Because a limo just wasn't good enough. Or a regular car. 

This is the biggest dream come true of Sarah's life so far. And he hasn't even proposed yet. She's easy to please.

For their first date, there's a champagne toast. At the bottom of the skyscraper. So they're free falling 300 feet to get to the champagne.

If I had to free fall 300 feet, there better be more than just a toast at the bottom. There better be a whole bottle of something stronger than champagne. And I might even need that liquid courage before beginning the drop.

But not Sarah. She's game for this craziness. She's a bundle of nerves, but she's game. Plus 5

"This is gonna be fun. Just you and me taking a nice leisurely fall down the side of a building." Sean Lowe, ladies and gentlemen. He'll be here all season. 

They made it and no one peed. Good job, you two. Plus 3.

Sarah Herron Photo

During the dinner portion of their date, Sarah tells the story of the time she was told she couldn't go zip-lining because of her disability. I think Sean is on the verge of tears.

Back at the house, the next date card arrives. Date #2 is a group date with Kristy, Amanda, Brooke, Lesley M., Daniella, Katherine, Robyn, Katie, Selma, Diana, Taryn, Kacie, and Tierra. So 13 of the remaining 19 girls. A recipe for drama, perhaps? Here's hoping. Because so far Sarah and Sean's date is drama-free. 

Sarah's angling for a rose. Sean obliges her. She's sticking around.

And there's the first kiss of the season. Plus 8.

And she's falling in love with him after the first date. Minus 12.  It's ONE DATE, Sarah. One. Simmer, lady. 

The 13 ladies on the group date are hitting the minibar in the limo. Yes! Drunk girls bring the drama!

For their group date, they're going to be cover models for Harlequin romance novels. Bodice rippers. And Sean's shirtless again.

And the drama begins. Robyn can't stand Tierra. She "doesn't appreciate" Tierra's personality. So she decides to mock Tierra while sitting right next to Tierra and drags the make-up artist into it. 

Then Robyn calls her a "tacky ho." Classy, Robyn. Classy. Minus 15

Lesley's making an impression on Sean. The costume helps, no doubt. So does the photographer who instructs them to kiss and ramps up the rage among the other 12 ladies. 

Sean Lowe IS The Bachelor

Tierra flips a switch when she's with Sean. It's easy to see why the other girls don't like her because the person she is with Sean isn't the person she is with the girls. Not that I can blame her, really. She's not there for them.

Kristy's photo shoot is hot. Like, HOT hot. Smoking, even. And she gets a three-book cover deal with Harlequin. But she's a model professionally, so this was in her wheelhouse. Meh. Plus 4.

After the photo shoot they all head to a pool party. Except no one goes swimming. Minus 3. 

Lesley gets Sean alone first. He asks why she's there and she says, reluctantly, "it's for love."

Sean wants to kiss her, but she keeps nervous talking and ruining the moment. Shut her up, Sean! Kiss her already! Minus 8

Lesley watches all the other girls taking their turns with Sean and questions her Southern sensibilities. She steels herself up and goes in for the kiss. Get it, Lesley! Plus 9

Kacie and Sean take a turn together and she tells him she was "pleasantly surprised" and "completely caught off guard" by the fact that she developed a crush on him during their events together. He says he's excited that she's there, but he seems a little reluctant to pursue things. He does tell her he wants to explore things and see if there's something more there, but it feels like he's being the nice guy. 

Catherine tells the lamest joke ever: "I'm vegan, but I love the beef." No rim shots necessary for this one. Minus 13.

Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici Pic

Tierra's not well-liked by the other girls. Sean's even picking up on the fact that she's an outsider in the house. But she tells him she's there for him and not for the girls and that seems to be enough. 

Back at the house, Sarah, who's been on a date, picks up the next date card. Desiree's going on a one-on-one. 

Katie feels "excessively uncomfortable" and doesn't plan to compete. Kacie doesn't think she's long for the house since she's so uncomfortable.

Katie breaks up with Sean and he offers to walk her out. What a gentleman.

Kacie, who knows how to play the game having done this once already, gets the date rose. Tierra's unhappy, and that's putting it mildly. Minus 4. Bitterness isn't pretty, Tierra.

Sean's taking Desiree out and he decides to punk his date to test her sense of humor. With Chris' help, Sean sets up a display of "priceless" pieces of art, staffs the exhibit with fake patrons and artists, and plans to pretend that Desiree has broken one of the pieces in the collection. 

This is fantastic and it hasn't even happened yet. Plus 5

The artist's name? Sven Molotovsky. As in molotov cocktail. 

Sean's having second thoughts about punking Desiree. But not enough second thoughts to back out, of course. 

Desiree Hartsock Photo

This is really too good for me to even type anything about it that's even remotely coherent. He got her! And she passes his sense of humor test. Plus 18

Now they're going back to Sean's place for dinner. Which is miraculously ready as soon as they walk in the door with no one but the two of them in sight. It like the kitchen is magic and I want one. 

Desiree admits that she doesn't know much about Sean on purpose. They share stores of their families and it turns out they have a lot in common.  

Things seem comfortable with them. Comfortable enough to don a teeny bikini and get in the hot tub. And plus, shirtless Sean again. Plus 10.

Des has brought out "100%" of Sean and he gives her the rose. Plus 10 more.

The dates are over, and the second cocktail party begins. Sean thinks he knows which two girls he's sending home without even making it all the way through the party. 

Lindsay says she feels silly about her first impression and how much she drank at the first cocktail party. He assuages her guilt. There's something about this girl's laugh that's just not okay. 

Poor Sean just keeps developing more and more feelings for more and more women and suddenly has no idea who to send home. Poor guy. Except this is sort of what you signed up for. Minus 10.

Amanda is the "dark cloud" in the room. Des asks her how she feels and she says...nothing. Yep. She says nothing. Minus 8

Robyn decides to broach the topic of race and The Bachelor. She's seen the cultural diversity grow as the show has gone on and wants to know if that's a stunt or if Sean's really interested in the black women competing for his heart. 

If it's possible, Sean got even more perfect with his answers to her. 

Amanda just continued to sneer and say nothing to anyone. Until Sean walked into the room and then suddenly she had a personality. Minus 15

It's time for another Rose Ceremony, but Sean needs to think first. So he goes off to do that while Chris tells the ladies that some of them will be going home.

Sean gives roses to:

  • AshLee
  • Lindsay
  • Robyn
  • Jackie
  • Lesley M.
  • Selma
  • Catherine
  • Kristy
  • Leslie H.
  • Tierra
  • Taryn
  • Daniella
  • Amanda

Amanda? AMANDA? sourpuss AMANDA??? Sean. SEAN? What? Minus 40.

Going home this week:

  • Brooke
  • Diana

While he didn't exactly have any time with either of them, AMANDA got a rose? AMANDA?? Oh, Sean. 

EPISODE TOTAL: -41 SEASON TOTAL:  -22

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To begin with, I am so glad that Katie voluntarily went home last night. To me, she was such a whiny-ass wimp with no pizazz. And, I have not one but TWO favorites this season...Desiree and Sarah. To me, BOTH Desiree and Sarah are the most real. And, there are 2 that are not right for Sean...Tierra and (especially!!!!!) Amanda. Tierra seems WAY TOO possessive and territorial. But Amanda is WAY WORSE!!!!! I think that Amanda is nothing but an emotionally volatile and ticking time bomb. Tick tock tick tock...YIKES!!!!! Plus, Amanda is N-O-T all that attractive to begin with. And, don't even get me started on that unflattering yellow dress that Amanda wore to the rose ceremony aka elimination. Most of all, it was so fucking stupid that Sean gave Amanda the final rose of the night/episode. WHAT THE FUCK????? The Bottom Line: Amanda needs to go home next week. She has a totally stank-infested attitude that is the absolute P-I-T-S!!!!! Amanda needs to go home PERIOD!!!!!

The Bachelor Quotes

There’s still a lot of growing to do in our relationship. We will not tie the knot until I am mentally and physically prepared as well as Matt.

Shayne Lamas

It was a fairytale proposal like I’ve always dreamed about. I forgot that there [were] cameras around. In that moment, it was just Matt and I and it was the most amazing moment of my entire life.

Shayne Lamas [on proposal by Matt Grant]
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