More than two months after the actual holiday, TLC aired a Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Halloween special last night.
Seems appropriate for what many would consider to be a backward show about a backward family, right? What went down?
Read on for our exclusive +/- recap of all the nauseating action...
We open with Pumpkin dangling some roadkill in front of a sleeping Mama June Shannon. Mmm… breakfast in bed. PLUS 7.
“Halloween is all about treats," Alana says. "Treating myself to candy.” PLUS 7 more for this unique take on the holiday.
A visit to the pumpkin patch results in the revelation that June doesn't trust cows (MINUS 4) and the quote from one daughter, in reference to a large pumpkin: "Roll it just like we have to do with Mama down the stairs." PLUS 10 for that diss.
June then decided to dye her hair blonde, as Sugar Bear notes: “Seeing June as a blonde would definitely make my loins perk up… You better chain me to a bed because I’m coming up.” MINUS 49. At least.
We also learn June is petrified of mayonnaise, or "marannaise" as one child pronounced it and as TLC actually sub-titled it. PLUS 12 to the network for that one.
The family then told stories about Fart Ghost and farted a lot (MINUS 19), which preceded a corn maze trip and June peeing ("the old-fashioned drip-and-dry and shake it") in the maze. MINUS 27.
As for the costumes? Kaitlyn went as a hot dog; Chickadee and Chubbs dressed as ketchup and mustard; and Alana went as a vampire. Or a witch. Or some combination of the two. June? Marilyn Monroe. PLUS 13 because… d'uh! She has blonde hair now.
In the end, June insisted on
eating inspecting all the candy (PLUS 6 for actually being responsible) and the family was left confounded by the presence of dental floss in one of its bags.
Perhaps they can use it to strange Fart Ghost.
OVERALL: Minus 46.