After Thanksgiving provided us a week off (for better or worse), MTV's sun-setting hit Jersey Shore returned with the first of its final four episodes Thursday night.
A blast from the past made an appearance. That's about it.
There were plenty of interesting developments ... teased for the following episode. The baby shower, for one, barely got underway. Oh well, join us for THG's recap!
From what we did see of Snooki's surprise baby shower, it was awkward central up in there, with a standoff between Snook, Mike and Jionni looking inevitable.
Wasn't that the "storyline" about eight episodes ago? Minus 20.
Jionni is also stealing glances at Vinny, who is bound to this crew as well by virtue of boning Snooki frequently back in the way. Also ... not a new development.
For her part, Snooki is overjoyed as she cries and hugs friends. JWoww says the shower is the reason for the final season. If so, boring! But very sweet. Plus 20.
Does anyone really think she didn't know what was going on? It's being filmed! And staged, and probably rehearsed! Minus 40 for pretending these aren't stars.
Jionni's terrible "softball tournament" excuse is met with this awesome rebuttal from Ron-Ron: "There's other people that can collect the bats." BOOM. Plus 10.
In an unexpected, game-changing moment, the House tries a new club, Merge. Amazing someone else agreed to have them after years of epic melees. Plus 15.
In another unexpected, game-changing moment, Angelina Pivarnick is back! She apologizes for her past misdeeds, but to the gang ... she's still Angelina Pivarnick.
"Once you apologize, you need to exit, girl." - Mike. "She's still standing here." - Pauly. Plus 10.
"Angelina will not leave us alone ... It's hard to ignore ... that face." - Vinny. Plus 20.
Ron takes the term "gorilla juicehead" to a new level, sporting an actual gorilla suit. Pretty amusing, especially since the target of his prank is Roger Mathews. Plus 20.
Mike tries to chase skirts at the club while Paula Pickard's ghost keeps blocking him. Or just Paula Pickard personally. She's there too. Think he's regretting the breakup?
Sammi protests, Mike is just off "downgrading." Pretty much. Minus 50.
Vinny brings home TWO DTF girls but cannot use the smush room. Alas, he must take them into his room with Pauly and Mike, and alas, one "does the dip."
Probably something to do with Mike being there. Still, Plus 10.
JWoww splits her pants in the club, then proceeds to take that ass up onto the platform and show some second rate go-go dancer how it BE DONE. Plus 25.
"We are king of the guidos out here and there's no way anything is gonna ruin any of the fun we're gonna have this summer." - Mike, sober mind you. Plus 35.
EPISODE TOTAL: +45! SEASON TOTAL: +270!