It's a Girl for Rob Schneider!

Rob Schneider is a proud new father.

The unfunny actor and wife Patricia Azarcoya Arce welcomed their first child together on Friday, a daughter named Miranda.

She weighed in at 5 lbs., 13 oz. and was 18 inches long at the time of her birth.

"Thank 2 all of you for your good thoughts and well wishes! But I wish this hospital had a bar in it! Where's the medical marijuana for dad," Schneider Tweeted soon after becoming a dad.

The star of Deuce Bigalow and The Hot Chick, Schneider will hopefully never show those movies to his child. They could be seriously scarring.

We send our best wishes to this new family!