The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Recap: Part Three

by at . Comments

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Part 3, we finally learn who really worked as a stripper in college and so much more.

We recap all the screeching accusations and surprising revelations in our THG +/- review.

Teresa & Joe At the Reunion

The Real Housewives husbands arrive and it isn't long before they are all yelling at one another to "shut the f**k up!"  Minus 12. If only any of them would listen.

We continue to rehash the season as we see Kathy explain that in Jersey it's proper to say someone in the family is "going away" instead of "going to jail."  Minus 11. How many members of your family have to frequent a jail cell for you to come up with a separate term for it?

Teresa swears she doesn't go to the press with her personal life…they come to her. Duh. That doesn't mean you have to answer them. But wait, I suppose if you want to cash their checks then answers are required.

It's both sad and funny that Teresa insists she's asked her family not to talk about her family's legal problems in the press but she talks about it in magazine and on TV.  Minus 10.

It's almost as funny as Teresa insisting she's never called Melissa a stripper. Why isn't Bravo playing a montage of clips where Teresa has said exactly that? Minus 8.

Joe Guicide is as eloquent as ever. When Andy asks him how he feels about possibly facing 10 years in prison, Joe responds with, "Yeah, whatever."  He also says the prosecutor can stick his plea deal.  Time will tell if that's a foolish answer.

Teresa says they haven't told their girls anything about this.  Minus 15.  I hope she's lying about that because you know the kids are hearing about it at school.  It would be cruel for their parents not to prepare them for that.

The feud between the Laurita's and Guidice's heats up as Joe says that Chris met Jacqueline in Vegas when she was working as a stripper.  Jacqueline swears it's a lie and shoots back with, "You piece of low life sh*t. And I hope you go to jail."  

Plus 10 for clarity because the battle lines don't get drawn much clearer than that. 

All of the stripper accusations prompt Joe Gorga to ask what's the big problem with being a stripper? Chris Laurita one ups him with the best line of the night when he says, "We're talking about strippers like we're talking about serial killers."  Plus 20. Very funny.

But someone on that stage was a stripper.  Can we get a drum roll for the big reveal?

The Real Housewives stripper is…Joe Gorga.  Plus 22.  Can't you just picture exhibitionist Joe as a Chippendale dancer.  He did it in college and has no problem admitting it.  He made good money and had a lot of fun.  I can't stop laughing just thinking about it.  It wasn't Teresa's sister-in-law who was the stripper. It was her brother.

Things almost get boring as the men call one another bums and debate who grabbed whose crotch first in their drunken brawls.  Minus 9.  Does anyone really care?

Finally Kim D takes the stage and minus 13 for giving this women the 15 minutes of fame she's so desperately searching for.  She doesn't deserve it.

Kim does admit she's holding a grudge against Melissa for endorsing her competitor.  Wow!  Talk about being a vengeful b*tch. 

Then she claims that Angelo's visit wasn't a set up. It was just very convenient.  Minus 12.  Is anyone buying that?

Caroline admits that after the fashion show incident, Kim D told her Teresa knew something was going down concerning Melissa.

Then the screeching starts again and poor Andy must be deaf in one ear.

Melissa says she'll never even look at Teresa again.  Teresa wants her to promise.

Andy says this is a show about family.  Minus 10.  Yeah, the most dysfunctional family in history.

Even as this ridiculous season comes to a close, Caroline insists that, "When there's love there's hope."

No offense, Caroline but I don't think I'm going to hold my breath.  We'll have to wait and see who returns for season five.  Bye bye to Jersey for now.

EPISODE TOTAL: -48! SEASON TOTAL = -530!

Tags: , , ,
Like Us On Facebook

More From The Hollywood Gossip

Teresa-giudice-on-season-6

Teresa Giudice to Be Fired From The Real Housewives of New Jersey Over Andy Cohen Feud?!

Teresa Giudice may soon be fired from The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Sources say Bravo execs are tired of the star's diva-like behavior.
The-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-new-season-6-cast-photo

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 6 Episode 2 Recap: Happy Holidoze

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 6 Episode 2, the drama we saw in the premiere was largely absent.
Teresa-giudice-confused

Teresa Giudice: Pissed at Andy Cohen Over Sentencing Comments!

Teresa Giudice is feuding with Bravo president Andy Cohen. Teresa feels Cohen's comments about her legal troubles are out of line.
Teresa-on-real-housewives-of-new-jersey

Teresa Giudice Salary Revealed: She Makes HOW MUCH?!?

How much is Teresa Giudice being paid by Bravo this year? The answer may shock and disgust you.

Avatar

BULLEYING!!! Shame on Andy Cohen and everyone
Working on this show. How can you justify putting
a group of women (including Andy) on national tv
all against one person. Regardless of what Teresa
has or hasn't done this is shameful!, What people
Will do for ratings today! SAD.

Avatar

Doesn't Teresa ever watch the show. Her husband is stepping out on her and you can see it if you watch. Joe is a piece of work but I feel sorry for their girls. Talk about a dysfunctional, OMG. Very happy that Jacqeline saw the light about Teresa. I have an Autistic daughter so I know she well have her hands full with her son in the next few years. Heads up Jacqeline, it does get better. You found out early and that is great.

Avatar

The saddest thing is watching a brother and sister who luv and want to be close tear apart! Going to counseling will never work if both people dont take a look at mistakes they've made and what they can do to fix it. Teresa saidto her husband she was going to counseling to help her brother work out HIS issues. She has issues too. Her denial of everything is part of the reason why the other ladies were ganging up on her. It's that same denial and refusal to come clean about her true feelings that is tearing the relationship with her brother apart. Since T, needs people 2 agree and be on her side, it could be true that she is turning her parents against her brother, and cousin. We've seen her need to have people side with her and turn away from or even mistreat the other person. This is something teenagers do in high school, not grown women! Teresa comes off as being pretty fucked up!

Avatar
@ sunny

ya thats true but it seems like it goes the same for the others to like how caroline got so mad when they were all getting along in napa and cryed because no 1 jumped in when she was yelling at teresa, she really needs a group to agree with her and back her up. It seems to me that this show has a lot of things behind camera that we cant see causing all these problems, and it seems like they all have a lot of skeletons and if they keep fighting they will all air each others business out there

Avatar
@ mary

Yes, i think i remember the part where Caroiine expressed her frustration with how nicely people were getting along, but in the end, didn't she sit back outta the way and let things flow? At least, that's how I remember that episode going. In any case, I think you're correct too. There are allota skeletons wit this group, but I'm a family person. U fall out with each other, but we love each other more than anything, so we will eventually get things worked out so we can move forward in peace. When all the bones come out, my truly big hope for this entire group is they heal their family relationships. The fact that Teresa and her adorable brother luv each other very much is unmistakeable. Now - let's see them work it out. That's the reason why I stay tooned in. If they can't reconcile their differences and the drama and poison continues, then it's my opinion the show should be taken off the air.

Avatar

Check out Teresa's physical and fashion evolution since the show began... She's looking more and more like an overdone skank. She is looking uglier because of her evil ways. Her face is looking more like an old, ugly hooker! Sleazy fashion choices, too much make-up, hooker hair etc. Oh, by the way, it appears that her unfortunate hairline is getting lower too! Welcome to Planet of the Apes or Real Housewives of the PLANET OF THe Apes.

Avatar
@ val

Oh wat u like caroline and her saggy skin where her double chin used to be? and melissa has the exact same style so if ur makin fun of her too. kathy and jaqulines faces are so fake they look like they could fall off any minute. teresa accually looks better now that she did before check her, dina, and caroline out on the dish on youtube so shut the fuck up ya retard bitch hahahaha u must be discusting and ur probly 1 of carolines gay sons or fat daughter hahahahahahaha

Avatar

hahaha sara ur crazy but when ur right ur right and right now ur right haha

Avatar

whether u love her or love to hate her u have to admit the show would suck without teresa. and the rest r retarded cuz theyre makin her the star by ganging up on her. the more they try and make her look bad the more the people love her. haha kinda reminds me of when season 1 came out and the same thing happend with danielle, and all the viewers hated caroline and dina, let me guess caroline is gonna sit back and act like she wants no drama hoping teresa will mess with them so shell look crazy just like wat they did on season 2 to danielle haha

Avatar

i find it weird that caroline acts like shes a peace maker who doesnt want trouble at the reunion, when teresas family was getting along during the season she was rip shit about it

Avatar

-530, that's awesome

Avatar

Seriously people, it seems that many if not all of the husbands love strippers and two of them married one (Jackie and Melissa). Jackie was also good friends at the beginning with Danielle who was also a stripper. I live in Franklin Lakes and had no idea of all the former stripper housewives running around in my neighborhood. I guess that is what wealthy middle aged men are looking for. So sad and so sad that these narcissistic people are ruining their children in the process. They are fun to watch- makes me feel great about my life!

Avatar
@ maddcloner

thats awesome u live in franklin lakes haha is Caroline and jaquline really that big of snobby bitches in real life?

Avatar

Joe Giudice is a mindless, inarticulate, uneducated, bullying troll. Teresa Guidice is an emotionally stunted, intellectually challenged, morally bankrupt, narcissistic, sociopathic, soulless creature. No trace of humanity remains.

Avatar
@ Alexandra Trigili

ur a loser jaquline and caroline are to boring bitches

Avatar
@ Alexandra Trigili

Gotta admit. Joe is as dumb as jello and Treesa just can't stop lying. And if that doesn't work she starts shreiking or pushing and grabbing people. Deparate folks struggling to keep their heads above water.
Those poor kids.

Avatar
@ ladydi1

ya tryna keep head above water cuz all those sluts r gangin up on her out of jealousy

Avatar
@ Alexandra Trigili

Well said and I couldn't agree more!

Avatar
@ Debbie Downer

Joe and Teresa: two big losers and b.s. artists.

Avatar
@ Luckytiger

fuck u pussy teresa makes the show even her own cast mates cant stop thinkin about her. oh wait if teresa leaves caroline will turn her guns on melissa u can tell cuz her and her gay sons and fat daughter make "friendly" little jabs at her just like they used to do to teresa before they turnd on her. u need to watch the first to seasons carolines a bully and always has a target