The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion Recap: Part One

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey opens with its first of three "Reunion" shows and Andy needs a whip and a chair to keep these women from tearing one another apart.  We'll recap how the claws come out in our THG +/- review.

The Housewives haven't been in the same room together since the fateful night before last year's reunion when the Posche fashion show episode was filmed.

The Jersey Housewives Are Reunited

Since then Teresa has sold yet another cookbook. That's three so far and they are all New York Times best sellers.  Minus 10.  Who are you people buying these things and why?

Caroline is writing her own book.  Minus 9. Just what the world needs, another book from a supposed real housewife.

Kathy's had some work done.  Nose job and lip injections.  I'll give her a plus 5.  She looks good but I'm with Andy on the flashing yellow light.  It's too easy to take these things too far.  She needs to stop now.

Unfortunately Jacqueline's news isn't so cheery.  Her beautiful son Nicholas has been diagnosed with autism and at the moment he's regressing and no longer speaking.

It's absolutely heartbreaking and brought me to tears…until Teresa opened her big mouth.  Minus 13.

Teresa simply doesn't know when to stay quiet.  I almost couldn't blame Caroline when she told her "Listen, you in your f*ckin' Christmas pageant dress, sit back and shut the f*ck up. We're talking about this kid."

And I have to agree. The strange, sparkly green dress was outlandish. Minus 8.

Everyone at this reunion has had enough of Teresa and they all tell her so but watching Jacqueline finally take the blinders off is the most satisfying.  Plus 11.

Jacqueline was Teresa's lap dog for so long that it's great to see her stand up for herself.  It only took Teresa blaming Jacqueline for setting up Melissa.  Unbelievable!  Teresa takes no responsibility for anything and blames the stripper debacle on everyone else.

Whenever Teresa doesn't like what someone else is saying, which is pretty much whenever they open their mouths, she calls them a liar and tells them to shut up. This prompts Caroline to say that  if no one can speak she'd like to go home. She's hungry. Hilarious. Plus 10.

Then Lauren joins them looking like a walking ad for the Lap Band.  She's lost 35 lbs and is looking good. Plus 7. She looks so good that I wonder if she's gone to Kathy's guy to have a little work done on her face as well.  Perhaps it's just the weight loss and better makeup.  Hard to tell.

Teresa Giudice says she's apologized to them all…in In Touch magazine. But to their faces she calls them names.  She calls Caroline an old hag and says Kathy is Caroline's puppet.

But even Melissa seems to be old news to Teresa as her main focus is on fighting Jacqueline.  Jacqueline admits that Teresa didn't want Melissa and Kathy on the show.  Jacqueline even claims that Teresa prodded her to leak the information about Melissa's supposed stripper days.

Teresa calls her a liar and swears she never said Melissa was a stripper when we've all seen her say it on camera more than once. Minus 15.

It seems the best Teresa has for Melissa tonight is to accuse her of wearing the same eye shadow Teresa wore last year because of course Teresa cornered the market on sparkle shadow.  Minus 10.  Yes, Teresa, millions of women out there are copying you, not just your sister-in-law.

But once Teresa and Kathy turn on one another things get down and dirty between the cousins.  Teresa says her mother told her that Kathy almost divorced Richie causing Kathy to call Teresa's mother a liar and her father a coward.  Minus 12.  Ladies, can we keep the parents out of this?

Apparently not. Teresa bad mouths Kathy's deceased father.  Little does she realize that Rosie's back stage and now wants her dead.  

Is Rosie lost, running around back stage?  Is she so enraged she doesn't know where she's going?  I'm sure no good comes of this but to find out we'll have to tune back in next week for part two.

EPISODE TOTAL: -44! SEASON TOTAL: -482!

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NO FOREHEAD , STOCKY BOW LEGS, ORANGE SKIN, EYES THAT ARE SLIDING OFF THE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD ? YEAH-- I WOULD SAY SHES PRETTY JEALOUS OF HOW CUTE AND SMART CAROLINE IS!

Victoria-mcguire

YUP, TRE COMES ON TO ALL THESE SITES WITH A FAKE NAME TO MAKE GOODY POINTS FOR HERSELF. PARANOIA !!!! SHE IS DISGUSTING AND VILE AS WELL AS THAT HOG SHE'S MARRIED TO.
ANDY COHEN SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF TO KEEP HER ON THIS SHOW. JUST CANCEL THE WHOLE SHOW. BRING ON SOMETHING REFRESHING. NO IT IS NOT POPULAR AND DOES NOT INCREASE RATINGS. TRE IS NOT A STAR, SHE'S TRASH

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I think "meg" is really Theresa

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@ poisonapple

Poison apple, I think u r right. Meg IS Teresa!

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as for as I am concerned you can take this trash off of the television, all it is is a bunch of b----- argueing all of the time. Don't know whose bright idea it was to put this show together but he should give back all of the money he has received way overrated

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Ah, yet another delusional blogger. I understand why people don't like teresa, but why don't the other women? THEY DO EXACTLY THE SAME SH*T AS HER! and jacqueline is disgusting. She pimps out her son's condition to get attention and stay on the show, and it isn't working. She claims to spend so much time looking up stuff about autism- then why the f*ck does she twitter all damn day!??! She's also creepily obsessed with teresa, it's weird and dangerous. Manzo is a fat, disgusting bully. Tre is the only interesting one, yes shes crazy, but she makes the show. There is talk they will be throwing everyone out but her, I hope they do, but i'm sure they will keep meGo because shes a terrible singer trying to make it big

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Kathy, your nose job certainly gave you alot of confidence. Your bully sister.. you brought up Teresa & Joe's parents first, insulted them. Teresa onlypoint out that her father had been good to your family.struck such a nerve because it's true. Rosie should be charged with threatening murder. has a big mouth & should have to answer for it. Jacqueline Who has a nervous breakdown over a friendship Grow up. Ashley is doing well b/c finally away from you! If Joe cheated on Tre, what good comes 4 bitches bringing it up?

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@ njfan

Hi Teresa!

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fan of the Manzo's til this season not family of Tere/Melis/Kat- go away &leave this family alone. Friendship ended w/Teresa then just Leave her & family to work on differences.obvious Kim set up Melissa& Teresa at the salon earlier in the day Teresa did not want to discuss & said so several times.probably true& I would think more of Melissa if she admitted mistake & move on. no real harm in exotic dancing. just in poor taste. So she did it, learned from it, enough said.Doubt everyone now saying she danced is dishonest.

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Teresa was not ganged up on. She is a liar & bad friend who has hit bottom in her personal life. Only she can joke with people no one better do it to her. Her only defense is to talk about people looks. She called out Kathy for having a fake nose, all the while her fake boobs are sticking out.

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I can't believe it Mellisa is sitting infront the camera a (Striper) same on you! You are pure liar. Your husband Love Teresa more than you! Teresa, don't worry about these they all TRUSHI. Manzo no carrier, her daugter she is still fat, Jackline boring sneekey and evil,she need to worry about her life with the sick boy. Cathy, very bad causin. Teresa get close with your Brother, he will undersatnd later. You are on the TOP! Brava! Good Bless You with all your family!

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@ TWE

English is obviously not your first language

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@ TWE

Striper? Do you mean stripper??? Trush??? Do you mean trash?? Sneeky? Do you mean sneaky??? Teresa certainly attracts her own type, dumb and dumber.

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I usually enjoy recaps on this site because they call it how it is. But this article is crap. Teresa was being attacked on all sides. They spew insults and then shake their little heads when she retaliates. Who brought up the parents? Kathy. Who responded? Teresa. And then its "oh no, how could Teresa do something like that?" Such baloney. The truth is, they are all IDENTICAL. You can't say one is better or more mature because they all spew garbage. But I think Teresa admits it, while the others act like they are holier than though.

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