The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Sexting Candles

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The Real Housewives of Miami turn on one of their own as "Sexting Candles" finds the feuds heating up and someone's love life hitting a deep freeze.

We break down all the accusations, attacks, and surprising admissions in THG's +/- recap!

Miami Musical Chairs

It's yet another Miami event where the ladies hit the red carpet, drink, and socialize.

Didn't we see them do that last week, and the week before that, and the week before…oh nevermind.  Minus 10. Only Miami Housewives can make the glamorous life look boring.

As Adriana says, the whole evening plays like a bad game of musical chairs.  These women genuinely don't like one another, so when they get together, fights ensue.  How to stop that? Get up and switch chairs… and wait for the next round to start.

Elaine has the balls, literally, to sit down next to Elsa after bad mouthing her daughter to everyone in town.  Plus 12 because Elsa's not having any of it.  

Elsa does her best to tell Elaine off. Unfortunately Elaine can only understand about every fifth word.  Minus 9.

Lea sits next to Marysol and Marysol has to wonder what "evil words will be wrapped in a riddle of jest" this time around.  Lea comes across as a selfish witch who doesn't listen or care about anyone but herself as she basically tells Marysol to get over herself.  Minus 10.  But oh, here's your invitation to my next gala.  I can't say I'd blame Marysol if she found something better to do that night.

Adriana and Karent head outdoors and brave the breeze that might ruin their perfect hair so you know this conversation must be important.  If only Karent had gotten a chance to speak. Minus 13.

Adriana says her peace but before Karent can responsd Alexia jumps in and tells Karent she needs to earn her place in this group. Minus 12.  Karent should have told them wear they could shove their group.

Instead Alexia kicks her out and plus 10 to Karent for taking the insult with a bit of grace.  Minus 15 to Lea who can't stop cackling like an old hen when she hears Karent was told to leave.

Lucky for Lisa and Joanna, they missed the entire lovefest.  

Speaking of Joanna, things get sticky when she reads Romain's old texts and finds out more than she wanted.  Last winter while she was off modeling, he was sending flirty texts to an old flame.

Yeah, this doesn't look good and I'm surprised Joanna didn't leave him on the spot but cooler heads prevailed.

Plus 12 to Joanna for confronting him calmly about what she found.  I never would have expected that from her.

And plus 20 to Romain for seemingly admitting the truth.  He did it. He planned to leave her and being a guy, he looked for someone else to go to but he never went through with the plan.  He says he f**ked up but he never actually cheated on her.  It was wrong not to have the balls to tell her directly how he felt and now he's lost her trust.  

Will Joanna & Romain Survive?

Can he earn it back?  It looks like they both want to work on it so this relationship may have more hope than I thought.

Unlike Ana and Robert's marriage.  It's dead. Long over. The only one who can't seem to grasp that is Ana.  Robert's got a girlfriend. Robert wants to split their business but Ana can't let him go.  Minus 13.  It's sort of pathetic. He's obviously moved on. She needs to as well.

Instead Ana is fixated on her hatred of Karent as she keeps calling Rodolfo her imaginary boyfriend.  Again, it comes across as childish.  Ana needs to get her own life and stop worrying about everyone else's.

So should Joanna cut her losses or work it out with Romain?  Was Karent too nice to Adriana and Alexia? Maybe they all just need a psychic reading with Elsa.

EPISODE TOTAL = -28! SEASON TOTAL: -190!

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