Really. Seriously. For real, people:
Beyonce is NOT pregnant.
Despite a lack of anything resembling evidence, reports that Beyonce is expecting spread around the Internet this week.
They were shot down first by her mother, and now by a man who would certainly know better than we would.
Jay-Z told E! Online last night that no child is on the way.
"Not tonight," he said. "Not in nine months – absolutely not."
Hmmm, well... what about in fewer than nine months? Is he just being coy?!? Is there more immediate news to share?!?
Nope. Not at all.
"Not in one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight or nine months," Jay-Z added, just to clarify.
Fair enough. Just promise to call us when there is pregnancy scoop, okay? Thanks man.