Bachelor Pad Recap: The Final Two Couples Are ...

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Bachelor Pad aired its penultimate episode last night.

Thank goodness. While still entertaining at times, the Bachelor has-been Big Brother-style series has struggled to build momentum this season.

Possibly because its remaining competitors are kind of total unknowns, even by Bachelor standards. Who knew Nick was still on the program?

Did Chris Bukowski live to fight another day? Did Blakeley Jones cry again? Who will battle for $250,000 (split two days) next Monday night?

Find out in THG's Bachelor Pad recap!

Bachelor Pad Karaoke

The winner of the first challenge got to oust one couple immediately rather than get roses. Love the urgency. And Blakeley FREAKING out. Plus 10.

One member of each team sat on a swing above a pool while their partner was asked Bachelor and Bachelor Pad trivia. Ah, summer TV. Plus 5.

Three wrong answers and into the pool they go: Blakeley and Tony, Rachel and Nick, and then Ed and Jaclyn. Worst. Competitors. Ever. Minus 15.

That means Chris and Sarah, for the second straight week, win this war of attrition and continue on despite zero allies in the house. Plus 10.

"I have the opportunity to shatter someone's dreams." - Chris. Plus 10.

Chris and Sarah sent Blakeley and Tony packing. She will be bitter for the rest of her life, but he'd been looking forward to it for weeks. Plus 5.

Next competition time: After only 24 hours of practice, each couple had to hit the stage for an '80s karaoke contest. Ah, summer TV. Plus 5.

Nick and Rachel are beyond terrible, but it was hard not to smile watching them have fun on stage, which is half the karaoke battle. Plus 15.

Ed and Jaclyn attempted a striptease of sorts in a bid to spice up their effort, which might've worked better if they weren't Ed and Jaclyn. Minus 30.

Sarah Newlon Bikini Photo
Chris Bukowski Bachelor Pad Photo

Chris and Sarah were surprisingly the best of the three. Plus 5.

"I think we're just like really really good at stuff." - Sarah. No. As we saw with their spelling, they're just slightly less terrible than the competition. Minus 10.

Night Ranger chose the winner: Nick and Rachel! Irrelevant Nick, whose fellow cast members joked about still being on the show, is going to the finals! Even.

It's their call who to take to the finals, and Ed and Jaclyn were sitting pretty, given that she and Rachel are so close ... only this is Bachelor Pad, remember.

By virtue of everybody hating Chris Bukowski, and thus giving Nick and Rachel the best chance to win, he and Sarah are headed to the finals as well! Plus 20.

Last year, Michael Stagliano won with someone else nailing his partner. This year, he's nailing someone else with a different partner who might also win! Plus 5.

EPISODE TOTAL: +35! SEASON TOTAL: -755!

Who do you think should win Bachelor Pad 3?

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