The Real Housewives of New York City Recap: Pirate Booty Call

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The Real Housewives of New York City head to St. Barts for a girls week but did a fun filled night turn into a "Pirate Booty Call" for one housewife?

We break down the lies, confessions, and speculation here in THG's +/- recap.

The ladies fly into to St. Barts and I must agree with Aviva and Carole.  That looks like a small plane and a bumpy ride.  Plus 10 to Carole for holding it together given her history.

The island is gorgeous. The house is beautiful and the chef is hot.  Plus 8.  What more can you ask for from a vacation?

Well, apparently admiring the eye candy isn't enough for some but we'll get to that in a bit.

Sonja & Ramona Drink

Plus 15 goes to Carole.  Love her analogy about dealing with Ramona.  Sometimes in order to avoid the toddler tantrum you just give her the lollipop.  In this case Ramona got the master suite. 

Of course she and Sonja decide to share not only the room but the bed.  Minus 7.  These two can't seem to spend ten minutes apart from one another or their favorite drink but I guess it is a girls vacation. 

Sonja says she'll be the buffer between Ramona and well, basically everybody else but especially Heather.  Minus 9.  Perhaps she would have done a better job is she hadn't been drunk most of the time.  And I'm with Heather.  I'm tired of hearing about this nonexistent toaster oven.  I have a toaster oven at home.  They're really not all that exciting. 

Maybe I just need to buy Sonja's cook book.

Poor Heather runs smack into a glass wall and damn near breaks her nose.  I suppose that's the price you pay for enjoying those killer views.  Plus 8 because she readily laughed at her own klutziness.  

For a girl's week there were certainly a lot of men in the picture.  First Carole's boyfriend Russ shows up and plus 10, because he is a hottie and he handles the ladies drunken craziness well. 

Sonja on the other hand is on the hunt for a man and she's not too picky about who.  Has it been that long or is it the banana rum talking?  Unfortunately for Sonja it doesn't look like she'll be feeling anyone up other than Ramona and the poor butler who can't get away.

Sonja takes the ladies out for a night on the town that includes plenty of tequila,  some skimpy pirate outfits, and a Johnny Depp look alike.  Eventually these drunken wenches make their way home but someone's got company.

St. Barts Booty Call

Minus 15.  LuAnn and Tomas, aka Johnny Depp stumble into her room at 3am.  Oh Countess what have you done? 

In the next few scenes we watch her lie to Jacques on the phone and then try to cover her tracks with the ladies.  Perhaps she should have remembered she was wearing a mic. 

It's a small island and an even smaller house.  How long before Ramona spills the beans to Jacques?  Will the Frenchmen take it in stride or will their baby plans be put on hold?  We'll all have to check back in next week as the St. Barts adventure continues.

EPISODE TOTAL: +20! SEASON TOTAL: -309!

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Did you catch her talking with Tomas (while the others were table dancing and she was not) about not wanting to be like all the "others" and don't "F" with me, etc? LMAO! I think someone forgot about their mic!! I doubt they are clever enough to pull anything off like this. I think LuMann was drunk and smitten with the Johnny Depp Look-A-Like and thought she was smarter (even when drunk) than the rest.

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I think LuAnn and Jacques cooked the whole thing up to get her more camera time. She has been a bystander for much of this season. What better way to get attention than a cheating scandal. (Just ask Kristen Stewart!) After all, Jacques would certainly know about it after the episode aired. Also it seems EVERYONE heard LuAnn arrive back at the house. Not exactly the picture of discretion.

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