The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Hot Tub of Sour Grapes

The Real Housewives of New Jersey's California vacation finally came to an end and it was all "Hot Tub of Sour Grapes" as Caroline and Teresa went at it.

We break down all the face grabbing fun in THG's +/- recap ...

When Teresa left Kathy out of her toast last week, was it an unintentional slight or a purposeful shun. In the end it doesn't matter as Kathy turns the focus onto someone else.

Instead of dealing with her own issues, Kathy throws Caroline under the bus.  Minus 12.  Of course she swears she has the best of intentions but is Kathy really that naive?

With everyone listening in on Teresa and Kathy's conversation, am I the only one who hoped that Caroline really would walk over and dunk Teresa's head in the hot tub?  Plus 15.  That could have been awesome but unfortunately we never got to see it.

Instead what we got was a lot of name calling and finger pointing as Caroline says all the things she's waited all season to say. She calls Teresa a liar, a fraud, and a disgrace.  Plus 10 for not pulling any punches.  She wants nothing to do with Teresa and she's pretty darn clear about it.

At first Teresa keeps insisting that she loves Caroline.  Apparently in the fabulicious haze that is Teresa world it's OK to slander the people you love in the tabloids.  Minus 11. 

And what's up with Jacqueline.  She lies there and pretends to be asleep like a ten year old.  Minus 8.  At least get up and walk away like a grown up.

As the fight spills over to the boys table Kathy starts to think that maybe she made a mistake getting in the middle of Caroline and Teresa.  Duh!  Minus 13.

At first I loved it when Chris pulled out his smartphone and called out Joe Guidice on his bullsh*t but he still let him weasel out of it so minus 12.  Joe and Teresa are making a lot of money bad mouthing their friends in the press and Caroline seems to be the only one who has had enough.

Teresa tells the ladies she doesn't know how to lie.  Ha!  Plus 5 simply because I can't stop laughing.

But minus 10 because I'm tired of continually going over what Teresa wrote in her stupid cookbook.  She'll swear to her grave that what she wrote was a joke.  She's said that so often I wonder if she now believes it.

Plus 7 to Lauren for trying to jump in and help her mom but I really don't know that Caroline needed the help.  Caroline's right.  Teresa's not family so she has the luxury of walking away.

Melissa and Kathy aren't quite that lucky.  I couldn't believe it when Teresa kept grabbing Kathy's face over and over again to make her point.  She really deserved to get smacked for that.  Minus 10.  Sometimes Kathy's just too damn nice.

And as Caroline wondered when this night would end I couldn't help thinking the same thing. 

Will the Gorga / Guidice alliance hold once everyone gets back to Jersey?

EPISODE TOTAL: -39! SEASON TOTAL: -306!