August 2012 Archives

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo aired an episode last night that focuses on pregnant, pageants and the equivalent of poop in a can.

Yup, it was just another evening in Georgia with Alana Thompson and family last night, as we've rundown the most noteworthy scenes and nauseating one-liners below, grading them on THG's patented +/- curve....

Chickadee (aka Anna) spends a medicated night in the hospital due to contractions she describes as pain "going through my vajayjay." MINUS 12 for lack of originality. We'd have accepted anything clam-related here.

Alana then asks a bunch of questions to her bedridden sister at home, mostly focusing on her own tummy incidents of the past: "When my belly hurts, it's usually gas or too many chicken nuggets." PLUS 6 for making us miss the innocent life of being a child.

Honey Boo Boo proceeds to say she hopes for a family one day. A very big family. "I want to have thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands." MINUS 47 because... no. God, no, no no, please no.

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Lady Gaga always manages to impress, or at least leave us scratching our heads, with her random photo shoots. Lady Gaga pics always make our day. What would all the fashion designers and makeup artists across the world do if she retired?

Luckily, we won't have to wonder that for some time at least.

Behold, the 26-year-old Mother Monster flapping her wings/feathers for the famed photographer Terry Richardson outside a Chanel store in Finland:

Those feathers are part of an elaborate headdress. We think.

Gaga is continuing the European leg of her Born This Way Ball tour, with Richardson in tow apparently, always ready to snap an "artistic" image such as this.

She's a rare bird indeed.

Lindsay Lohan was recently banned from the Chateau Marmont hotel over an unpaid bill of more than $46,000, but she claims it's all - gasp - a misunderstanding!

When it comes to the LiLo Book of Excuses, that's always a go-to.

The actress says she thought the producers of Lifetime's Liz and Dick would pay her tab ... even though insiders say no such promise was made by Lifetime.

We foresee Lady Gaga making another joke at her expense.

Producers did give Linds a one-time only, $5,000 advance against her salary in late May so she could move into the hotel, TMZ reports, but that was it.

There was never even an insinuation that the production company would pay her hotel bill, much less a promise that they'd pony up tens of thousands.

Lindsay has said if the production company doesn't cover the hotel bill, she will. Even if she has to steal some watches to pay for it. Just kidding (mostly).

Courtney Stodden turned 18 years old yesterday, a date many adult movie companies have had circled on their calendar for months.

Take Brazzers, a hardcore porn distributor that offered the wife of 52-year old Doug Hutchison' the "chance to star in four X-rated scenes in the genre of her choice."

Or Mofos.com, which showcases "real amateur girls" and hopes to partner with the awful singer on a birthday party.

Or Twistys.com, which has made it clear Courtney can choose her sex scene and be the Twistys Treat of thee Month. Just watch this, like, for real video. How can Courtney say no?!?

Courtney Stodden Porn Offer

Would Stodden really consider this path?

"I'm not gonna say yes right now," the desperate Z-lister told TMZ in response to the offers. "And I'm not gonna say no."

How much would you pay to watch Courtney Stodden in a pornographic movie?

Paris Hilton is still alive! And posing with no top for the men of Russia!

Fashion maven Ellen Von Unwerth snapped a spread for that nation's edition of GQ, with the once-ubiquitous, now largely-irrelevant Hilton in all her trashy glory. And sometimes lingerie. Good times all around in Russia right now.

Check out a couple of HOT (or not) Paris Hilton pics:

As for what Paris is up to since being displaced by Kim Kardashian as the queen of being famous for nothing, she's DJing, working on an album and stuff.

Beyond that, who honestly knows anymore.

If nothing else, girl looks great at 31. With the 10-year anniversary of the Paris Hilton sex tape coming up, she's gotta keep that body toned and tight.

Paris is totes still worthy of a drunk text.

America's Got Talent narrowed its semifinalists down to three last night, with the top pair of vote-getting receiving an automatic pass and the judges then deciding the remaining act.

Did you agree with the results? Follow our rundown below and then sound off on who remains and who was forced home...

Eliminations One: Joe Castillo, Turf, The Scott Brothers
When I saw that Turf was against The Scott Brothers I knew both of their fan bases canceled each other out. There were too many dance acts doing variations of hip-hop that any dance fan would split the vote. It automatically set up that Joe Castillo, who is pretty much this year's Silhouettes, would advance from this group. I just hope he could add a bit more speed in the finals.

Top Four: Joe Castillo

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Republican vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan accepted his party's nomination last night with a blistering indictment of President Obama's policies.

The 42-year-old Wisconsin Congressman used the Republican National Convention stage as a way to introduce his family (wife Janna Ryan and kids) and vision.

Ryan ripped Obamacare, the president's prized legislative accomplishment, claiming it was passed "at the expense of the elderly" and an economic boondoggle.

He also made an enthusiastic appeal to young voters, attempting to tie the Obama administration's policies to high unemployment among college graduates.

Paul Ryan Republican National Convention Speech

Ryan conjured up the image of 20-somethings in their childhood bedrooms "staring up at fading Obama posters, wondering when they can move out and get going with life."

He portrayed a country that isn't better off than it was four years earlier, with the future an "adventureless journey" overly reliant on government programs.

Paul Ryan also railed against Barack Obama's stimulus program and said that under his leadership, society moves from crisis to crisis without an end in sight.

"It began with a financial crisis; it ends with a job crisis ... It began with a housing crisis they alone didn't cause; it ends with a housing crisis they didn't correct."

Less uplifting than Chris Christie or Ann Romney the night before, Ryan's pointed RNC speech hoped to set the tone for himself and Mitt Romney this fall.

How do you think he did? Comment and vote below ...

Paul Ryan: Good choice for VP?

Election 2012:

Ron Paul's son, U.S. Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), addressed the Republican National Convention Wednesday, making the case for Mitt Romney and American liberty.

Paul continued the theme the convention, "we built it," by focusing most of his speech on the president's now-infamous "you didn't build that" remarks.

"Anyone who so fundamentally misunderstands American greatness is uniquely unqualified to lead this great nation," the younger Paul said.

"The engine of capitalism - the individual - is mightier than any collective."

Rand Paul Republican National Convention Speech

Ron Paul, who never endorsed Romney, refused an invitation to speak at the RNC because, in part, he would have to clear his speech with Romney's campaign.

Rand Paul has endorsed Romney, though he still has some work to do to convince his father's passionate backers that he's ready to step into those shoes.

Rand, one of many GOP speakers preceding Paul Ryan's RNC speech last night, mentioned Romney only once during his speech (above), at the end.

"To lead us forward, away from the looming debt crisis, it will take someone who believes in America's greatness, who believes in and can articulate the American dream."

"Someone who has created jobs, someone who understands and appreciates what makes America great, someone who will lead our party and our nation forward."

"I believe that someone is our nominee: Governor Mitt Romney."

Election 2012:

When it comes to supporting his son, German dad Nils Pickert goes the extra mile.

Even if that means wearing women's clothes (including nail polish) to help a 5-year-old feel good about going out in dresses and skirts, as he often does.

Why does the young boy even prefer dresses and skirts? It's not clear, but this is part of Pickert's point - standing in solidarity with him, no matter the fallout.

Check out this picture of the two making the Internet rounds:

The image of dad in a long, red skirt walking alongside his son in a spaghetti-strap dress no doubt inspired a hundred sideways looks in Germany that day, but the feedback has largely been positive since the image went viral.

To Pickert, it's all about the show, don't tell attitude.

He says if his son's unorthodox dress choices are seen as "everybody's business," it's his "job to be the role model my son needs" and set an example not just for youth, but for parents, too. What do you think? Does he succeed?

Skirt-wearing dad:

Will she be a toxic addition? Or will viewers want her to hit them, baby, one more time on a weekly basis?

Oh, yes, Britney Spears is joining The X Factor Season 2 as a judge and the latest promo for this Fox singing competition is all about the iconic pop star.

She doles out praise. She lays into at least one contestant. She cracks a funny double entendre. She's - dare we say it? - entertaining! Watch the new trailer now:

X Factor Promo: Best of Britney

Britney, of course, will be joined on the panel by Simon Cowell, L.A. Reid and Demi Lovato. Justin Bieber, moreover, will appear as a mentor.

Are you now excited for The X Factor?