Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Recap: Like Poop in a Can!

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Here Comes Honey Boo Boo aired an episode last night that focuses on pregnant, pageants and the equivalent of poop in a can.

Yup, it was just another evening in Georgia with Alana Thompson and family last night, as we've rundown the most noteworthy scenes and nauseating one-liners below, grading them on THG's patented +/- curve....

Honey Boo Boo Picture

Chickadee (aka Anna) spends a medicated night in the hospital due to contractions she describes as pain "going through my vajayjay." MINUS 12 for lack of originality. We'd have accepted anything clam-related here.

Alana then asks a bunch of questions to her bedridden sister at home, mostly focusing on her own tummy incidents of the past: "When my belly hurts, it's usually gas or too many chicken nuggets." PLUS 6 for making us miss the innocent life of being a child.

Honey Boo Boo proceeds to say she hopes for a family one day. A very big family. "I want to have thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands." MINUS 47 because... no. God, no, no no, please no.

Pumpkin (aka Lauryn), Chubbs (Jessica) and Mama (June) all took their final weigh-ins, with Pumpkin gaining eight pounds, Jessica losing three and June losing one. PLUS 9 because, hey, at least some weight was miraculously lost.

The family goes to a water park and June can't get out of her tube. PLUS 4 because of course she can't.

"This life jacket makes me look like a chunky lemon," says Alana, earning MINUS 10 for simply stating the obvious.

June shows off her "forklift foot." ZERO POINTS in either direction because we couldn't bear to look.

June prepares her daughter for the upcoming Rock Star pageant, telling her to "make sure you show your pretty tanned belly to the judges." MINUS 8 for lying to a child. The belly is neither pretty nor naturally tanned, as we saw Alana getting sprayed and were forced to hear this quote from her:

"Spray tan is like poop in a can."

Alana wins Queen in her age division, but not Rock Star Grand Supreme at the pageant. Still, PLUS 13 for this positive outlook: "If you're a champion, you're still a winner."

TOTAL: -37.

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Uh, who are you people to judge them. June, aka mama knows she's fat and disgusting yet doesn't dwell on it on a day to day basis like most people. Plus she has the decency to cover up that nasty foot. Which, by the way, was covered with flies after she took her sock off because it doesn't have a nail. Honestly. These people are just trying to live. That's what rednecks do. They're extremely back woods, but at least it's not fake. And for who ever said this is the most disgraceful show on tv, did you forget about jersey shore where they drink, party, and fornicate every night? Not to mention how disgusting those people live! Seriously, don't judge these people for being themselves...

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This show is such a guilty pleasure. You NEVER know what antics will abound with this family. You have to take it for it is ... mindless entertainment. Are they really all that different from the Kardashian clan..sure they dress and talk differently but are actually more entertaining. I will take this show any day of any week over the K clan. These folks got the sparkle :) I have to admit I almost killed myself getting back to the TV thinking I might miss forklift toe. I was disappointed..I expected far worse. A baby with two thumbs...HELLO.... have you been watching this show at all ??? ;) Plus 100 on the two thumbs- you just can't make that kinda stuff up!!!!

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This kid is soooooooooo frigin homily, along with the disgustingly fat homily mother. PERIOD....HOW THE HELL DID THEY GET A REALITY SHOW????? Are you kidding me???? I guess anyone whose fat, ugly, disgusting, and acts and looks like a slob can also get a show. ewwwwww. TLC go to HEll what is wrong with you people....

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The little brat is not cute at all. She acts like a ltle whore.

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I was curious & watched. I could not finish the show because I became physically nauseated. Never again!!

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I want to see the mom's feet... I can't find it posted..... I heard they were GROSS WITH BUGS CRAWLING ON THEM. and for people psoting on this that show is shameful...YOU MUST BE WATCHING IT!!!!

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I love this show they are soo funny and I think she loves her kids they may not be glamorous but they have fun!!If any show should have
thier kids taken away for it's Dance Moms

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this show is like poop in a can!

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IF I was to enter my child in a contest like that, (and I wouldn't) I would definitely call ahead to make sure that these pigs (sorry to the real piggies out there) were not going to be NEAR my child. What a disgrace. DCYS should get those kids out of that house and away from those (parents?). Poor excuses for human beings.

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A dolla will make you holla honey boo boo child...THey are hilarious....