The Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Recap: The Claws Are Out

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Not much can top Tamra's nicknaming Alexis "Jesus Jugs" last week, but with Brooks and Briana stopping by the Real Housewives of Orange County are going to try.

Someone get poor Andy Cohen a helmet. Or vodka.

Let's get to part two of the RHOC Reunion with our THG +/- review.

Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion

Andy addresses Gretchen and Alexis' falling out first. It's clear that Alexis is more upset about this than Gretchen is because her hands are flapping around like she's trying to direct an airplane to landing.

Nose job. Sinus surgery. You didn't have my back. Yes, I did. Whatever. If Alexis attempts to look down her new nose any more she's going to go cross-eyed.

And now Alexis' Fox 5 segment comes up. Gretchen pulls out an email that proves that Fox 5 wanted her first. Alexis says the producer said they'd never offered Gretchen the job. Neither woman can see that a producer might say whatever needed to be said to get the job done. Minus 12.

Tamra ends that bit by asking if Alexis still works at Fox 5. She doesn't.

The first question Andy has? How many square feet in her house. 14,300 square feet. Not including the garages and the loggias. And she needed a bigger house for what reason? Minus 4.

Andy brings up Bowgate. Heather admits that maybe she made it a bigger deal than it was. Plus 12.

Up next? Brooks.

It seems like this is the first time Vicki's seen just how nuts she was at the end of the season, judging by the look on her face. This should be interesting.

Brooks clarifies that he doesn't have four kids with three women. He has four kids with two women.

And then he says that all of his affirmations for Vicki are related to the fact that he's southern and that that's how southern men do things. I've lived in the south my entire life, y'all, and this is not how men down her do things. Minus 5.

Alexis and Vicki

Tamra thinks Brooks studied the show to learn how to get to Vicki. Interesting.

Brooks then says he was "protecting his lady" from Tamra's eye roll. Because eye rolls are the new weapons of mass destruction. Minus 8.

He also says he wouldn't take relationship advice from Tamra because doing that would be like taking financial advice from someone who's bankrupt. Zing!

Alexis chimes in to defend Vicki and Brooks and is met with a "shut up, dingbat" and "You're so not relevant" from Tamra. Double zing!

Gretchen's relationship with Slade is up for discussion next. It's still Slade's pesky debt that keeps them from being engaged. Slade drives her to appointments. He books her gigs. He schedules her training sessions. She's not paying him for any of it. Minus 15.

In true Vicki fashion, she makes this all about her. If Slade's not an opportunist, Brooks isn't either. And apparently, Eddie's a smooth-talking a**hole? Gah. Vicki. I'm done with you. Minus 12.

The conversation ended with Gretchen calling Vicki a hypocrite. Again.

Briana's on the couch now and surprise! She's pregnant! Again, in true Vicki fashion, she cried for half an hour when she found out Briana was pregnant. Minus 3.

Briana and Ryan moved in with Vicki. So now Briana, Ryan, Vicki, AND DONN all live in the same house. Because it's a big house.

Briana's still pretty hesitant about Brooks. As in, she has nothing to do with him. Briana's take is that Brooks just wants to be Vicki-the-Real-Housewife's boyfriend and not the Real Vicki's boyfriend. Tamra agrees. Plus 8.

Brooks outed Briana's pregnancy and her family wedding to local radio. And Vicki keeps defending him. Minus 30.

And then Vicki called her daughter a liar. On television. Minus 10.

Real Housewives of OC Reunion

Briana mentions, again, that Vicki probably had an emotional affair with Brooks long before their relationship became physical. Gretchen calls it "weird" because of accusations that Gretchen cheated on Jeff. Vicki says Donn had an affair for 20 years. And then slams Tamra for dating Eddie while she was married to Simon.

There's a whole lot of cheating going on, y'all.

Briana's the voice of reason and Gretchen's on the verge of tears. Pass out some tissues. Or the booze.

As a recap of the season, Heather says she had fun and hopes she and Alexis left everything in Costa Rica. Alexis says she's going to try to be a better person every day. Gretchen says this was an emotionally tough season. Tamra's had a lot of change in her life, including gaining Gretchen as a friend and losing Vicki. Vicki's confused. Just drink already, people.

Cheers, y'all.

EPISODE TOTAL: -67   SEASON TOTAL: -431

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Tamra was so messy this season as all ways. She had no reason to sit down with Heather's husband, and Alexis's husband that was none of her business. It was just men sitting down and she had no reason to put her nose in it.She need to stop being in everybody business; she is the one who start the fight between both couples. If she wouldn't went back and told Alexis that Heather's husband called her phony. That was so out of line.

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Does anyone know if there is going to be a season 8?

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You can all believe one thing for sure. There will never be a time when all the ladies are going to set Tamra down and tell her about herself. Why? Because she's what's known as the alpha female of the group. Tamra has a victim every season! lol If you notice at the end of each season she's either throwing a drink in someones face, or screaming in someones face. I'm very happy for Tamra and Eddie. I just hope that Eddie doesn't let himself be sucked into all the drama that comes along with her. Good luck Eddie :0

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Sonja, I totally agree. I always find myself reading the comments to. You guys have to remember, this is everyday behavior. Your just seeing it in 3D. lol But I will say this,(only because it's something I notice all the housewives doing this)it's funny to see these women saying one thing at the reunion while forgetting what they actually said during the show. lol Like Gretchen lying about having work done on her lips. And Tamra completely lied when she said didn't give Vicki the evil.She even admitted it herself saying "I rolled my eyes at Vicki so Brooks didn't like it" It's sure is true what they say about lying. If you tell the truth, it's not hard to remember what you've previously said.

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Tamra is GROSS RUDE!!!! EVERYONE WATCH OUT, DONT TELL HER ANYTHING YOU DONT WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW!!! She comes from my home state and thats embarrassing for the rest of us!!! BROVO GET RID OF THAT NASTY CLASSLESSNESS TRASH!!!

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Tamra's such a bitter bitch. She sees other people being friends and happy and just does all in her power to ruin it. Heather seems like she's always on her high horse and uses her big words to intimidate others. Gretchen is just stupid if she doesnt realize it's only a matter of time before Tamra turns on her again. Alexis needs to stop judging people before she gets to know them. And Vicki is a giant walking hypocrite.

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Tamra, Your wig is horrible.How could you betray Vicki. She has done nothing to hurt you.In fact she supported you with your divorce and engagement to Eddie.Eddie must have been ashamed of your behavior.....be careful.

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Gretchen what have you done to yourself? You used to be so cute. The lips, the over bleached hair & makeup or horrendous. The only one with dignity & self confidence is Heather.

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You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you obviously can't take the trash out of Tamra. She is the most hateful, jealous, horrible person on tv. She is such a classless bully. I always thought it was Vicki's influence, but it's all Tamra. Tam honey, you're in your mid 40's...you're WAY to old to be in the mean girl's club. GROW UP!

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The show is such a joke and a sick one, these women are fake and we have enough bulling in our schools, now grown women sure send a good vibes to our young people, Tamara is the worst, she loves keeping the pot boiling and is so hateful, Clean up the show and get rid of her.
thanks