The Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Recap: Cat Fight, Part One

by at . Comments

Two weeks after The Real Housewives of Orange County season finale, the women are sitting down on Andy Cohen's couches in Part One of the Season 7 reunion.

Will Alexis get an apology for being called phony? (Probably not.) Will Vicki have to defend Brooks? (Probably.) And how many times will she say "love tank"? (One time too many.)

Let's find out in THG's Real Housewives of Orange County +/- recap!

Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion

Tamra's hair is as big as Alexis' boobs. Minus 5.

We're 60 seconds in and Vicki's already lamenting the fact that Brianna eloped and almost had cancer. Minus 10.

Andy just pointed out that Gretchen and Tamra have swapped hairstyles. Which explains everything. And he's wasting no time asking about Vicki's fur coat. Plus 2.

Alexis says the reason she mispronounced Katie Couric's last name is because she has an accent. You know, like the British. Minus 4.

Here it goes, Alexis and the infamous Fox 5 news reporter scandal. She says that Jim's douche-maneuver in virtually everything regarding Alexis and what she wants, is just because he has a strong personality. Heather calls her out on it and says it's like he's her Daddy. Then she slams Tamra saying "she's still married."

Heather used the word "maligning" like she thinks Alexis knows what that means. Plus 10 for good vocabulary.

In this argument between Heather and Alexis? Heather wins. Mostly because she understands words. And mortgages.

Alexis and Vicki

Tamra's recap is up next. Seriously, her hair is huge!

After Eddie proposed, he re-proposed in front of her kids when they got home. Plus 10.

Tamra said her mouth has gotten her into a lot of trouble. At least she's aware. Vicki's disappointed by the distance between she and Tamra after this season. Both are saddened by the recent Vicki-Tamra feud.

Something that makes Tamra happy is her friendship with Gretchen. Vicki thinks Tamra's unable to have more than one friend at a time. Vicki, jealousy's an ugly look. Minus 3.

Vicki blames Tamra for the reason she didn't like Alexis for so long. Alexis says that she and Vicki have been working on their friendship since last season.

Andy Cohen just said "love tank." Minus 25.

Heather and Gretchen

And now there's a montage of Brooks and his positive affirmations. There's not enough pinot grigio in the world to make him tolerable.

Donn and Brooks apparently get along swimmingly. Vicki, apparently, almost ripped Donn's girlfriend's eyeballs out.

Gretchen says Vicki's not sincere in what she says. "Correct," Vicki replies. But she's not a hypocrite. Minus 10.

Vicki says she's told Brooks to "get his sh*t together" regarding his child support issues and reveals that she's known him for five years and wrote a letter to the judge to get him out of jail when he was tossed into the clink for not paying. Juicy!

She just can't seem to grasp how hypocritical she's been with Slade and Brooks' similar situations. Minus 15.

Phony-gate 2012 is upon us.

Real Housewives of OC Reunion

Alexis feels like the women ganged up on her, which is probably true. And Heather said "maligned" again. Alexis still doesn't know what it means. Tamra said her blow-up at her coffee date with Alexis was the result of Alexis pushing her into it. And then Alexis called Tamra bitter and old.

Gretchen says she warned Alexis that Phony-gate was coming when they were on the plane ride over to Costa Rica and then Alexis tells Andy that Gretchen's lying about her hair extensions. Because those two things are related. Minus 3.

Vicki says she'd never want anyone to "gang bang" Tamra. So that's good.

Heather accuses Alexis of being rude to the crew and department store employees. And then Tamra shouts "You are PSYCHOTIC, JESUS JUGS." And I died. Plus 40.

EPISODE TOTAL: -3. SEASON TOTAL: -364.

Tags: , , , , ,
Avatar

The housewives of Orange county are phny.
Especially Tamera Birney.She's a sex porno dirty and a lousy mom to her 4 kids.
I feel sorry for the puertorican boyfriend Eduardo.He appears to be a nice man that works hard for his money.I don't understand why did he chose this ''woman''as his future wife.Gretchen is a lousy friend to Alexis.Vicky is the best of them all.Be happy with Brook.Don't listen to the haters.Heather is a fake.Alexis is a good marvelous human being.

Avatar

Gretchen is finally arrived to the hate list .
She's be coming just like Tamara (the midget with lots of fake hair).
Heather is phony just like her sissy husband.
Alexis is a good person ....
Vicky is smart,elegant and a good mom to her ''spoiled''kids.
Brook is a good companion to her.
Andy Cohen must go.

Avatar

ILOVE TAMERA AND HEATER AND GRECHEN LOVE YOU GUYS I DONT LIKE ALEXIS OR VIC wish u guys wuld rite bak

Avatar

I personally like Tamera, what makes her trashy: cause she has a saucy mouth, cause she likes to have fun? Alexis is dumb as rocks an is PLASTIC....all of you on here that honestly believe Alexis is the prettiest on the show....you all must be plastic as well with major body issues. Alexis looks like a drag queen....overly made up. An her husband is a douche. Alexis is basically a stepford wife. Viki is so damn NIEVE it really bothers me that she's blind to Brooks' pulling the whool over her eyes. Heather is beautiful, well educated an a very good mother an wife...Terry adores her an his family...kudos to them. Gretchen well I'm undecided on her. Congrats to Tamera, Simon was a control freak an douchey like Jim. Eddy seems like a great guy an I wish them the best.

Avatar

Tamra needs to take a good look a herself. She was wearing so much makeup she could hardly
move her face. And Raccoon eyes. Her hair was nice in 1970 but WAY overdone for now.
And she's not 20 anymore, so stop wearing clothes for that age group.

Avatar

Alexis, Tamra and Vicki need to go. Their stories are old and tiresome. Nothing changes and they
just get more and more boring.

Avatar

Never thought I would see a troll with its hair brushed and an attempt at a "hairdo," and then there it was wearing a red dress sitting next to Andy Cohen. That woman is so pathetic. She says she knows her mouth has gotten her into trouble, but she only says that in attempt for a pathetic compliment from her dumb arse followers. Wretched, aka Gretchen, is so happy to finally be out of the hated circle (albeit circle of 2) that she gladly threw her so-called friend Alexis to the curb. Not that Alexis is a prize in the wit and conversation department but she definitely had Wretched's back on more than one occassion. Can Bravo pull a NY re-vamping and get rid of all these women and start fresh? Seriously we turn in for the drama but it's time for new blood. These "women" have nothing else to say or show.

Avatar

Gretchen only concern is her lipstick and for Slade to shout, "Im DEBT FREE!". She is not loyal to any of the girls. And a friendship pack with Tamara , what a joke. This is what you do as TEENS. Why does she always wears ' princess' dresses? She always seems to place blames to everyone except herself. She appears asleep in the show, but when she wants to speak out she seems to regain conciousness.

Avatar

I work 16+ hours a day . So why dont u get off ur fat ass and do some work ! 36 hours a week is nothing . Spend another 36 telling ur mum to shut her fuckin slackjawed interbred cousinq dad mouth

Avatar

Dimond Tamara immediately looked pregnant . She appeared laid back, tired , full face ,arms and legs. I assuming she with child. She didnt look like a giddy Tamara. Her demeanor has changed. Still the same 'evil eye' .