The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The Sniff Test

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated Antonia's birthday and if you were looking for an over the top affair for a six year old then you came to the right place. We recap all of the indulgence of the showy soiree in our THG +/- review.

It was nice that Melissa didn't over do it for her six year old's birthday party. She invited all of their family and friends plus all of the kids from Antonia's school. There was a bounce house, a giant crawl through caterpillar, tents with cotton candy and popcorn, a henna tattoo artist…did I miss anything.

Melissa Gorga Fashion

Minus 10 because the most ridiculous thing was watching Melissa Gorga get her makeup professionally done for a kid's party while she swore to her husband that she was NOT high maintenance.  I'd like to know what's her definition of that term.
Across town Joe Guidice bails on the party and Milania calls her dad a big poop.  Plus 5.  I couldn't really disagree with her assessment.

But the party had its moments.  Plus 7 to Teresa who crawled into that caterpillar with the kids. I hope she grabbed some hand sanitizer when she finally found her way out.

Plus 5 to Joe Gorga who got in on the fun and let the kids watch him get his own tattoos.

And a big plus 11 to Melissa  who offered to host Sunday dinner.  Was it me or did she embrace the therapy session more than Joe or Teresa?

With only one session behind them the brother and sister were quick to discount everything the therapist had to say.  Of course they both had all of the answers.  Minus 9.  If they're both so smart how did the end up in this mess to begin with?

Teresa and Jacqueline gave one another the cold shoulder but Kathy thinks the upcoming trip to Napa will help mend fences.  Ha! Minus 8.  Either I'm a pessimist or Kathy is really naive.  Time will tell.

So did Bravo buy stock in this Beat Stock concert?  Not only was Melissa offered a stage to perform but Gia was picked as a dancer.  Minus 7 because what are the odds of that?

I was happy that Melissa's choreographer told her they had a lot of work to do.  Plus 9. At least he was being honest and not telling her what she wanted to hear. 

Melissa's worried about being booed off the stage.  Plus 8.  Thankfully she knows what she's up against.

Over at Kathy's, Rosie invited her new girlfriend over for Sunday dinner.  Minus 6. Wasn't that a little quick?  Have they even dated?  The last we saw Rosie was drunkenly drooling all over the woman at the bar.  Now Rich is drooling all over her across the table.

So Lauren's starting yet another business.  I was a little confused by the concept.  Jewelry, clothing, cosmetics, and a cafe?  Well, it's certainly unique.

Minus 12. Lauren seemed quick to spend money…her mother's money.  Maybe if she'd worked for it she wouldn't be so quick to make expensive last minute decisions like changing the name.

In Hoboken, Chris set up a surprise birthday party for pal Greg.  Did anyone else notice Kathy's face taped onto the suit of armor?  I'm sure there's a rational explanation.  I just can't figure out what it is.

So last week we were at The Cubby Hole and this week it's Boxers.  Minus 10 because I've never heard of anyone choosing to introduce their girlfriend to their mother for the first time at a gay bar.  What was Albie thinking?

Plus 11 to Chris who was just freaking evil but so funny when he leaned over to poor Lindsey and told her "She f***ing hates you" as Caroline walked past.

But honestly, what was Caroline's issue with Lindsey?  She kept talking about how Lindsey was too much of a girl and would expect too much attention from Albie when he should be concentrating on his career.

Minus 15.  It's not like the guy's in med school.  He's pushing high priced water that's black.  It's all PR and marketing and hype.  You'd think a gorgeous cheerleader who is into him could only help.  And if nothing else, Albie looked happy.  Why not be happy for him?

But that would make life too easy and this is The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  No one here does easy.

EPISODE TOTAL: -21! SEASON TOTAL: -137!

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They are all a Disgrace except for Kathy She is Genuine. Caroline so gets on my nerves She thinks she has all the answers and she does All The WRONG answers that is! She is not allowing her family to achieve anything if she continues to do everything including to think for them. Its so uncomfortable to watch her and listen to her, I need walk to out of the room when she is on.

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I usually think Caroline is the voice of reason, but menopause has really made her a miserable b*tch this season...Lighten up! Lindsey was sweet, give her the benfit of the doubt. I can't believe how rude she was with all of those snarky faces about her being a cheerleader. Albie is NOT all that. He got kicked out of law school and now works for a company his uncle started. Not exactly impressive! And that fat cow Lauren is so insanely jealous of any female with a good body! Lauren, please...stop blaming your dad for bad genes and look in the mirror. All you do is eat and drink! Albie seems like a nice enough guy, but if I were Lindsey, I would run, not walk! Kathy knows how to welcome a new girl into her home. What a class act. Caroline could use some tips...

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I have always liked Caroline, but she is beginning to bug me. She acts like the "godfather" , not becoming at all. Her children are still depending on their parents and those kids are old enough to be on their own. Hate Teresa, Joe and those kids need a good ass kickin. Melissa is OK, love her hubby and kids. Kathy, Rich and Rosie are awesome along with their kids. This show needs to clean house, hoping Teresa and Caroline go away!

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