The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Sit Down and Man Up

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey try to "Sit Down and Man Up" before the big trip to Napa. Will any of it help them avoid complete and utter disaster? Let's recap all of the planning meetings of a vacation destined for failure in our THG +/- review.

Teresa's brand just continues to grow. She's got the books. Now she's planning on a line of Teresa aprons, her own specialty Bellini and maybe even T's pasta. Where will it end?

This all may be Teresa's dream but Joe can't keep his nose out of the middle of it. Minus 10 when he can't let Teresa get a word in edgewise during her meeting at the winery. 

But a big plus 15 because someone finally told Teresa that ingrediences is not a word! How many seasons has that taken?

Teresa's Dirty Laundry

Did anyone else find it funny that Joe was telling Teresa that her driving sucks when only one of them has a valid driver's license and it's not him?

Once they sobered up it was off to Teresa's book signing where Joe sat in the back and drank. If I took a drink every time Joe Guidice did I'd pass out before the show's over.

Teresa has quite a crowd lined up and as nice as it is of Kathy and Richie to show up, I have to laugh when Kathy says the pizzelle recipe in the book was her mother's.  Minus 8.  Being Italian I can say that pretty much every family has their own recipe for pizzelles and despite a differing ingredient here or there they probably all look alike. 

Later, everyone turns out for Kathy's event and I think her tent is bigger than the ice cream store but I have to agree with Teresa on this one. Would investing in a couple of professional looking signs have broken the bank?

It's cute to have your kids make posters but her son's lists titimisu as one of the offerings.  Minus 10.  That might give people the wrong idea about her event.

Kathy's right about one thing. I'd rather eat a small piece of an amazing dessert than have a plate full of diet anything.  Plus 7

It's all about achieving their dreams and after her performance at Beat Stock, Melissa wants a music career but Joe Gorga's not willing to give up the reins. He's been paying the bills and he wants to own Melissa and her music.  Of course he doesn't mind having her act like a musical porn star so that every man will want her…as long as he's the only one that can have her.  Never underestimate the size of the male ego.

Melissa Gorga At BeatStock

Speaking of financial backing, do you think Lauren would be so excited about renting that space if she were the one paying the bill? Minus 11 because I'm getting tired of misunderstood little Lauren chasing her dreams while spending Mommy's money. Isn't' it time for her to grow up?

Of course she has such great role models. She brings Jacqueline along for a business lunch to look at a line of cosmetics and Jacqueline orders a Screaming Orgasm cocktail.  Then she dives into a pitch about how she'd like to be vajazzaling. If you missed it on the show, I'm not about to explain it to you. 

Minus 12 because Jacqueline came off as more a drunken bimbo than a business associate. 

On a side note, has Caroline been relegated to commentator? She doesn't seem to have any storyline of her own.  She simply follows her kids or makes judgements on everyone else's lives.

Back to prepping for the trip to Napa. Chris invites all of the men folk over hoping that they can keep their women from ripping into one another on vacation. It doesn't go well.

Somehow Joe Guidice manages to insult the entire table, including Chris and his wife. He's still holding a grudge against his brother-in-law about some tools he didn't return years ago.  Plus 6 to Richie who gives it back to him at least a little.

Chris is right.  Joe Guidice believes everyone owes their successes to him because he knows all. The Guidices seem to knock everyone down to build themselves up.

I hope Joe Gorga keeps that therapist on speed dial.  I think he's going to need it.

Episode total  =  -23                   Season total  =  -202 

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Ingrediences? WTF? And that woman wrote a cookbook lol!!

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Alexa Ray, Watched the RHONJ and was surprised & happy to see you on one of the esipodes. I'm a big fan of your Dad's & at times watched you grow up. But hadn't realized what a beautiful & talented young lady you've become!Keep up the beautiful music & I want you to know I will be watching your career & wish you much success & happiness. PS love you song All I Can Do & the others you have here on your website ..thanks for sharing & GOD bless.

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I really think that the Housewives of New Jersey Caroline and her family needs to be more diverse, why? WHO HAVE"NT HEARD OF PATTI LABELL..her sons and her family are out of touch with people, I just can't beleive it I have not forgotten that episode I can not get it out of my Head.

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Today I am resolute to get off the TGuidice WACKO soldati!!
I get paid for posting 'positive' comments about her and whatever products she is peddling and also when I/we make nasty/dirty posts regarding her NJ cast mates. This is HOW she operates....mafia mentality and it's despicable!!
BTW, I (believe me, there are 100s more) don't believe that her 'products' are authentic.

Wv peach

Teresa's husband is the biggest douchebag I've ever seen! Granted, Teresa is no day in the park either, but Joe's behaviour is repulsive. Ick!! Did anyone else laugh at (and thank) the lady who corrected Teresa's "ingrediences" faux pas? Hilarious!!!

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teresa and her husband are tragically funny, I actually feel bad that I find them utterly amusing. this is the only season ive watched rhonj and that woman teresa comes of as jealous and bitter. that wacko is true entertainment.

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I don't understand how Teresa has become a bit successful, either. I would NEVER buy any of her products...not in a million years. My favorite is when she says everybody hates her because they are jealous of her. Ummmm...NO.

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@Joy - Only northern Italians are light skinned and blonde. Most Italians(not all) have medium/dark brown hair and a tan/light tan/olive complexion. Get your facts straight. I will say that even though I am a fan of RHONJ... I am sooo tired of shows like this, Jerseylicious and the Jersey Shore making Italians seem like a joke. I am Italian and am proud of my heritage and I can guarantee you I don't spray tan, fist pump or tease my hair 3 ft in the air. I will agree with the "Sense of Family" they portray and I agree with most of what Caroline says. Teresa is a nut job and needs to get over her issues and stop trying to compete with her brother's wife... it's just not right. Accept your shade of green and move on... either be a FAMILY or don't but if they want to make it work she needs to get off her damn high horse and admit she is wrong sometimes.

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Who is her fan base. I think she is wacko! Are they all from New Jersey because she is? Theresa really needs a therapist,she has lost it!! Joe well you know......

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I find myself truly saddened at the thought of a person like teresa experiencing success or having fans. She is so palpably insincere, terribly and obviously jealous (ie her comment about the taste of skinny girl.....). She is too unintelligent to pull off backhanded backstabbing comments without being completely obvious. If her husband (who is tragic) isn't cheating now....I liked her the first season but to see how she has been effected by undeserved fame is hard to watch. I have never found myself saddened by ANYONE'S success but seeing an old, less intelligent snookie have a best selling book (of someone else's recipes) and a fan-base is a sad comment on the state of our country. I hope she gets the wake-up call she needs and deserves before her head explodes.