Happy Birthday United States, The Situation and Malia Obama!

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The United States of America turns 236 years old today. That's quite the milestone.

But a couple other big names also celebrate birthdays, and each also represents the greatness of the country in which we all reside.

Sitch in Jersey
Malia Obama Photo

First, there's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, a man solely famous for his abdominal muscles, tolerance for alcohol (rehab stint not withstanding) and unusual vocabulary. He turns 30 today and we'd have to imagine there's a lot of gym, some tanning and also a bit of laundry in his future.

Where else would someone like this become a millionaire? Take that, France!

Then there's Malia Obama, newly 14 and the daughter of the first African-American President in our history. Her father is biracial and was raised in a poor household in Hawaii.

Love him or think he's the second coming of Karl Marx, Barack Obama represents the American dream.

So put down that firework, raise your Budweiser and toast the United States, The Situation and Malia today. Here's to hoping the Mayans were wrong and we're all around to honor year number 237.

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Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Biography

Mike The Situation Photo
Mike Sorrentino is a cast member on MTV's Jersey Shore. He seems like a good dude. At least relative to the rest of his moronic... More »
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Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino