The Real Housewives of New York City Season Five Premiere Recap: A New New York

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The Real Housewives of New York City kicked off season five with a new crew as half the originals are out and a new group of catty housewives introduced themselves.

We'll break down the feuds, both old and new, in THG's +/- recap!

We're quickly introduced to mother of four Aviva Drescher, widow and author Carole Radziwill, and new resident mean girl and shapewear diva Heather Thomson.

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

Plus 10 for throwing the newbies into the deep end at Sonja Morgan's party to see if they could swim. Do any of them have what it takes to survive in these shark infested waters?

Aviva's definitely the nicest of the bunch but how long will it last? It seems they all find their inner mean girl before long.

Plus 20 for the look on Sonja's face when Aviva pulled her spare prosthetic leg out of a bag to get a pedicure. I can't blame Sonja for being shocked. If Aviva wouldn't have said she was missing part of her leg from a childhood accident I never would have known.

Carole's story was interesting even if she did come off a little bland. But Minus 7 to Aviva when Carole told her her husband died of cancer. Aviva's response, "I hate cancer."

Is there anyone who loves it? 

But you can set these two women aside and hand Heather the prize for jumping into the middle of the bitchy brigade. Plus 15 for showing us the real Heather right from the get go. 

Of course she's got a ways to go before she reaches the true bitch potential of our resident housewives. 

Can someone tell Luann that this is a new season and she needs to find a new feud? Minus 8 for dredging up old news.

She's still angry at Ramona's comments about her parenting skills, so much so that she drags Ramona off to a corner to ask for an apology in the middle of Sonja's party.

Plus 11 to Ramona for standing her ground. She doesn't regret what she said so she's not apologizing for anything.

If only the false bravado didn't give her heart palpitations. Poor Aviva wondered if she was having a heart attack. Oh, the new girls have so much to learn.

Luann's not the only one gunning for Ramona. The pushy blond doesn't seem to have a friend in Heather. The two women continually try to one up one another so much that it's sort of comical but Minus 7 to Heather for making fun of Ramona's The Learning Annex cover.  That's a serious mean girl move.

Of course Mario and Ramona could use a refresher course in making your guest feel comfortable as they jump all over Heather for interrupting them during their conversation. Minus 8. That was just rude.

I had no love for Heather. She uses her endless supply of sad stories to one up everyone. Her dad died on Friday (She certainly didn't look broken up over it), her son had a liver transplant when he was born (How many people did she tell that story to in under under an hour?), and her friend went blind. 

Don't get too close to Heather. Bad things happen.

But it was the bossy, know-it-all attitude that annoyed me the most. Minus 10. When she started a lecture on the effects of tequila I was with Ramona. Just shut up and drink the damn thing already.

Luann is certainly not to be out done in the drama department. She calls all the newbies to lunch and drops in just long enough to accuse Ramona of threatening her family before she flies off again to drop her bombshells somewhere else.

Since the conversation in question took place off camera, it's hard to say how much is the truth and how much is just good Housewives theater.

And did anyone else wonder what the drunken, passed out kid on Luann's lawn have to do with any of it? Is there more to that story we should know?

In the one and a half hour premiere the lines are already being drawn and the claws are being sharpened. How long before this new set of housewives turn into the back stabbing divas we've grown to love to hate?

My guess…not long at all.

EPISODE TOTAL: +16!

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These vacuous pieces of human garbage are the strongest argument for releasing Charles Manson. Where's The Family when we really need them?

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Ramona needs to come off the show she is ugly stupid and just disgusting i hate to hear her speak just disgusting

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I pretty much agree with the concensus. Ramona is getting worse. Alcohol? Menopause? Attention? All of the above? Girl needs some help. She looks and acts manics the majority of the time. And her tag-team buddy Sonja is becoming just as bad.
Luann is just silly and self-important but everyone knows that already.
Time to watch another network. This show has been worked to death.

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I taped the show and had to watch it in segments it wasnt entertaining it was annoying .....always combative always throwing mud slings even with the newbies...if they thought it made it interesting I really hope that Bravo takes it off the air and give us more interesting life the Housewives of Suffolk County....Nassau County skip the city with one exception Brooklyn USA really go there and film......Manhattan sucked big time.....

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I am a heterosexual woman BUT can I please ask (not to be mean), could they have found at least one hot young, fun "housewife" in all of NYC? Sheesh. I don't find a ton of Botox to be the marker for attractiveness, not that I'm against it. I worked in NYC for 4 years and can tell you there are a lot of women who really look amazing and make me want to run back home and do a complete overhaul. Oh well, its easy to judge as a viewer so.......Oh, and its becoming painful to watch Ramona, my eyes keep opening really wide when she's on because hers are always that way.

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What a waste of 90 minutes. I won't continue to watch. The beginning was so boring. I have never like Luanne. She is the biggest phony alive. Miss Manners who continues to stir the pot and get everyone against someone else making up crap that is ancient history. She did the same thing with Bettheny. And No, I am not really team Ramona either. Luanne can speak in several languages, and be rude & snotty and all of them. All of these women are unbelievable. If these are the REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NYC, I am glad I live in the South!!

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Watched last night, liked the new girls but my god is Ramona rude
I was taken aback by how rude she can be..I don't know why she is still on the show she really is offensive, I don't know if I want
to watch this show anymore!!!!!!!!

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Love the 3 new ladies. They are smart and witty and will make Mince Meat out of the Drama Queen Ramona can't wait. Hate to see Jill go, and will never miss the wanabee Alex with her tag-a-long loser husband.

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I watched only half the show before turning the channel. The scene with Roman fake crying over Heather's son's transplant was the kicker for me.
I also read Carole's book and loved it, but I'm pissed that she's such an asshole about it. Aviva came on a bit strong about what the book meant to her, but Carole should have been flattered, not annoyed. That and her snarkiness about mothers who talk about their kids made her my least favorite of the NY women.
LuAnn is still a pretentious, sanctimonious pain-in-the-butt. She thinks she's some jet-set high brow Grand Dame, but she can't even speak proper English. For someone who acts like a mega snob, her blue collar roots are showing...
Still love Sonja. She's also a snob, but she's so good-natured about it that it's hard not to like her.
I didn't miss Kelly a bit, but Alex and her kooky gay husband and Jill and Bawbee have left a gaping hope with their departure!
Overall, it was a snoozefest and then I turned it off.

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I'm done with this show. Jill was annoying, but entertaining. Alex was just getting interesting. I can do without Kelly, but the newbies are weird. Oh well, nothing lasts forever.