The Bachelorette Recap: Goin' West Virginia Hood Rat Backwoods on His Ass!

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Emily Maynard showed us a new side of herself on The Bachelorette tonight. We honestly didn't know the girl had that scrappy street fighter in her, but we dig it.

Unfortunately for one guy, this earned him a profane tongue-lashing and a ticket out the door. Fortunately for us, that douchebag will no longer take up screen time.

Who was the recipient of Emily's blowup, and what'd he do to provoke her?

Who else got the boot at the end of the night after the fireworks ended?

Follow this link for a rundown of The Bachelorette spoilers we know so far, including the (alleged) final three. Then read on for THG's official +/- recap!

An Emily Maynard Pic

Ricki and Emily in matching peacoats? Cutest thing ever. Plus 20.

Chris Harrison's purple scarf? LOLZ not so much. Wow. Minus 11.

Sean Lowe gets the one-on-one date, and he'll obviously knock it out of the park, 'cause that's what guys like Sean Lowe do. At everything. Plus only 10 because he's almost too perfect for words and shows up normal guys.

Meanwhile, Alejandro is still on the show. Who knew! Plus 4.

Sean and Emily do their best impression of the Duke and Duchess. Will Emily soon be sporting her best Kate Middleton baby bump? Probably ... since that "bump" is like 97 percent not real. Minus 9 for THG confusing all of you.

Kalon says every day is a "group date" with Emily and Ricki. Ohhh, good one man! What a douche. Just pack your bags now. Minus 15.

Sean sounds like a preacher in the park ... saintly, even. Plus 8.

Emily and Sean's date at the Tower of London? Quite romantic. Plus 6. The whole "love takes no prisoners" card? Quite cheesy. Minus 6.

He should be thankful she didn't go Fifty Shades of Grey on him down there in the dungeon. We know she wants more kids like whoa. Plus 2.

Emily's raspy voice is kinda sexy ... even if it's just because she's sick or lost her voice. Feel better, Em ... but wow. Holy hotness. Plus 8.

Speaking of hotness, how about Sean's charm, kindness and genuine humility? Is any girl watching this not swooning right now? Plus 12.

"The last thing I wanted to do this week is act." - Doug. Really man? That was the last thing that entered your mind this week? Minus 3.

"Shakespeare is HUGE in Mississippi. That's pretty much all we do is sit around and read his plays." - Travis. Joke? Not a joke? Plus 5.

"I have limited understanding of what is going on in my scene." - A surprisingly nervous, visibly uncomfortable Arie Luyendyk, Jr. Plus 15.

We can't decide if Ryan's overconfidence is hilarious or infuriating. Wash.

Of all the guys, Arie and Doug are exceptionally good sports. Plus 15.

Arie: "Ryan is cracking me up, because he's so excited he finally gets to kiss Emily. I'm like, 'dude, it's a play. You're not actually kissing her.'" Plus 5.

Emily Maynard, Arie Luyendyk, Jr. Pic

"If Shakespeare were alive and saw Ryan, he would say 'thouest suck.'" Plus 10.

Emily drinking beer with the guys? Plus 10.

Do the producers feed Ryan these lines? And/or tell him to talk in the Disco Stu-esque voice? He's creepily hysterical. Plus 3.

Kalon actually refers to Ricki as "baggage." Uhh, Minus 100 for saying that in the first place, and for the weaksauce excuse/retraction.

Doug rolls up his sleeves like he's going to throw down. Plus 12.

Props for Doug telling her. Given the nature of what was said, and the fact that it involved Ricki ... it was warranted. Plus 28.

Emily: "I wanna go West Virginia, hood rat, backwoods on his ass." Plus 150.

And she backs up the talk! Plus 50 for cutting him off and telling him to "get the f*%k out" and not even hearing his half-assed excuses.

Why even go on the show if you know Emily's the star? Why say those things to the other guys? Bottom line ... loser got what he deserved.

She doesn't feel the guys had her back? Doug told her! And Emily DESTROYED Kalon by herself! We feel for her, but still, what do you want? Minus 9.

After waiting five weeks for a one-on-one date, Jef with one F is totally getting c*ck-blocked by Jeanne the British etiquette expert. Minus 20.

Plus 25 for them ditching out and going to a local pub.

Emily lost her mojo over the whole Kalon thing. Jef might take things slowly but he's saying all the right things, and Plus 40 for that.

Dance parties all night with Ricki?? Plus 9.

With that kiss, Jef vaults into top-tier status with Sean and Arie. Plus 30. Can anyone else compete with those three? Will be tough.

Ryan? Maybe, but we just don't see it. Minus 5.

Emily is getting the butterflies with Sean, but not in her stomach ... they're in her HEART!! OMG, so mind-numbingly cheesy. But cute. Plus 2.

Arie: "I think I may be going home tonight." Really Arie? Ryan, Alejandro, "Wolf" and the Egg Dude are still on the show! Minus 7.

Jef Holm Picture
Sean Lowe Picture

Saying goodbye tonight:

  • Kalon (kicked the f*%k out)
  • Alejandro (did not get rose)

Still alive: Sean and Jef (earlier), Doug, Ryan, Chris, John "Wolf", Travis, Arie.

EPISODE TOTAL: +304. SEASON TOTAL: -1.

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Ryan is the one who really scares me. I think she has to see what a "Player" he is. Personally, I think she already has her cap set for Arie... & blonde guy is sweet & a hunk... but just not her type. All bets on for ARIE!

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This woman Emily Maynard is such a boring person. She thinks she's tough....lol...give me a break....she should come back East, and see how tough she thinks she is then. I like Sean the best of the group. He seems almost too good to be true. She should pick him. She did have smarts though, when she got rid of that obnoxious Kalon. the guy was a total creep and loser.

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Chris is all too polite. Kalon is an arrogant ass but he is wealthy if he was a supplicant to Emily then she would like him for his money (kinda like Ryan).

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Is it just me or doesn't Chris like to stir up trouble?

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Love Jef, but no way will his Mormon faith allow him to marry Emily. I think Arie is the final rose.

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Kalon should of gone the 1st round, he is so into himself and I took an instant dislike to him.. As far as the Emily not thinking the guys had her back, look at history.. Whom ever is in the driver's seat, doesn't listen to what other people are telling them, they usually thinks its just being catty.. She sort of over reacted on that issue. I don't really think Kalon was into Emily, he is to pompous..

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Alejandro was dull and listless. Not a good match for her and not really goo for the show. I didn't care that he left...at all. Generally, I feel bad for the dude, but he's bland and non charismatic.