Teen Mom Recap: It's a Beach Party!

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Teen Mom had a beach party last night, all across this great nation.

Maci Bookout invited herself along on vacation with baby daddy' Ryan Edwards' family, as we saw on last week's installment, while Amber welcomed Gary and Leah to Malibu rehab center, and Farrah showed off her fake boobs in Florida.

Catelynn Lowell? No beach for her. Just Butch!

Come along for THG's Teen Mom recap!

Teen Mom Cast Photo

After 90 days behind bars, Tyler's dad is out of jail and crashing again at his son and stepdaughter's place, after testing positive for drugs or violating a restraining order / contacting his ex-wife. We forget.

Honestly it's way too hard to keep track with Butch these days. Minus 20.

Wouldn't you know, guy promptly breaks his curfew. Shocker. Minus 4.

"Dude, it's almost midnight and I'm sitting up waiting for my 50-year-old father," Tyler laments. When Butch does show up, the next day, Tyler tells him that the next time he decides to pull that he's kicking him out. Way to be, Ty. Plus 14.

Amber Portwood, meanwhile, is disappointed to learn that and Gary can't be around Leah at the same time. Gotta love restraining orders. Minus 42.

Farrah Abraham's breast implants are right at home in Florida. No wonder she insisted on moving. So many more bikini photos. Plus 12.
Farrah Abraham Boobs

Her neighbor Adam totes wants to hit it. He seems nice. Plus 6.

Ohhh, snap. Farrah plain shuts him down. She's just too mature! Or in her words, she's all "grown up hello?!" Whatever that means. Minus 5.

You know your relationship has regressed poorly when you can only be in the same room with either your baby daddy or daughter, not both.

You also know a reality show has lost its grip on reality when you already know the outcome - Amber's rehab failing - before you watch it.

Kinda makes JJ the rehab guy's counseling sessions worthless, but Plus 9, because he does seem pretty nice and is trying his best for her.

Dalis (Teen Mom)

Ryan's new girlfriend, Dalis, has joined the family on their vacation, along with his son, Bentley, who likes her, and Maci. Awkward! Plus 20.

When Maci tried to coax Bentley away with her friends, Bentley first cried "go away" and then urinated on her. Boys will be boys  ... Plus 10.

Ryan's buddy thinks Maci is "still in love" with him ... no idea where he'd get that idea, given that she shows zero interest in ... never mind.

She's totally into him, and it's kinda sad. Minus 15, Mace.

EPISODE TOTAL: -34. SEASON TOTAL: -110.

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What happened to all the Recaps? I miss them.

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Funny how teen pregnancy had been considered more of a problematic epidemic among black youth. Yet teen mom is dominated by white girls. I've never watched this show. But talk about promoting teen pregnancy among our youth. Great job for whatever idiot who came up with this show idea. I thought 50 cent was irresponsible with his "have a baby by me & become a millionaire." Nope teen mom's producer trumps him hands down. Good job Teen Mom. You all should be so proud.

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Amber is crazy already... But its ok. Farrah is such a b++++ to her parents and everyone around her... But maybe she'll find true love some day. Cate and Ty are fake!! And Maci.. well yeah she still loves Ryan I wish he would just get back with her... They really are a cute couple.