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The red and black roses! The gorgeous emerald ring! The In-N-Out burgers!

That’s right, folks, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are inviting A-list guests such as Katy Perry and Charlize Theron to their upcoming nuptials, which the latest issue of OK! Weekly dubs the Wedding of the Year in a cover story that can only be described as… existing.

Clearly wanting to show up Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, the magazine’s totally not made up insider says Pattinson is penning a song for Stewart and “plans to perform it for her on the vintage Fender guitar she bought him for Christmas last year” during their reception.

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Where might the event take place? Brazil, claims the source, adding that “Rob and Kristen want their wedding to be beautiful and meaningful – but not so over planned that it chokes all the joy out of it.”

Well, sure. That would ruin any imaginary wedding.