On Sunday night's Keeping Up with the Kardashians, evil momager Kris Jenner once again took center stage, this time with her grunting noises.
Say what now?
Feeling like it's time for some contrived family bonding, Kris decides it's time to play some tennis with the gang. How sweet and unforced.
Elsewhere, Bruce's son Brandon Jenner and Leah Felder, who just got married, made an appearance for the first time. How'd that go?
Find out in THG's +/- Keeping Up recap!
Plus 70 for this exchange, even if it was written on cue cards:
- Kris: "I think we need a can of balls because you always have to have fresh balls."
- Kim: "I'm glad that your memory of balls is coming back to you."
- Kris: "Honey, anytime there's balls involved it's my kind of game."
That's what Ray J said. OHHHHH!
Anyway ... "Is it me or is my mom making these loud, crazy grunt noises when she hits the ball?" Kourtney asks. No it's not just you ... unfortunately. Somehow listening to Maria Sharapova do that sounds way better. Minus 15.
"This was supposed to be a really fun day," Kris laments. "But my kids just wanted to make fun of me." She deserves it, so Plus 10 for the kids.
"He writes, he produces, he sings, and with Leah [Felder] the two of them together are just absolutely phenomenal." Phenomenal? Eh, Minus 5.
When Bruce asks Kris for help funding their musical ventures, however, she's wary of mixing business with family. Hypocrisy at its best. Minus 50.
"I represent all of my kids," Kris says, "but if I took on Brandon and Leah, it would be so much pressure ... it would kill me if I made a wrong decision." In other words, she doesn't want a repeat of Kris Humphries. Minus 10.
Fortunately, the younger Jenner has his head on straight, telling Kris it would be awkward anyway. "What means more to me, honestly, is how proud you are of us," Brandon tells his dad. Nice kid. Plus 20.
Speaking of good kids, little Mason sure is one! Plus 10.
But Scott and Kourt don't hook up anymore. Minus 20.
"I know that relationships change over time," Kourtney says. "But sometimes I do wish that things could be back to how they were in the beginning, when we were always kissing and obsessed with each other." Don't we all. Plus 30 for being very honest about an all-too-common relationship phase at least.
Scott: "Even though I think Kourtney is completely delusional, I still want to show her that we can have that romance that people have in the movies." Helps when your life is as scripted as one, but Plus 5.
Spray-painted abs? Not what she had in mind. Shocker. Minus 20.
Scott Disick then arranges for Kim to take Mason for the night, buys roses, wears a tux and even makes dinner for Kourtney. More up her alley. Plus 40.
EPISODE TOTAL: -75. SEASON TOTAL: -295.