@Martha, I have 2 teenage sons both raised the same way. My oldest broke the rules so I indeed went to the pioneer ways. His car has been parked 3 months, no cell phone, tv etc... His room consists of a bed with blankets, that is it. He goes nowhere and refuses to get a job. So my husband and I have to watch him apply for jobs online or take him to businesses. I refuse to let him be entitled. None of it has worked. I have no more leverage.
So we wanted him to see how rough others have it. They no longer do scared straight in our state, so we took him downtown to view how life can be. Still didn't work, he enters his senior year in August. I pray daily for that light bulb to go off. I would never hit him, teaches the wrong message.
Taboo, i also agree that hitting a child in their teens does not work. i think at that age only reason would prevail. but what if the child refuses reason? then, be creative. my sister took away all her daughters clothes except what she was wearing and a nightie. she had to launder her outfit every night before bed. haaahaa. for an image obsessed kid that age, thats the worst punishment by far! in less than a week, my niece was a changed person.
Mind your own business, if you are finding that you cannot control your teens or that you feel your life is at risk in their hands, then i agree with the others, you made major mistakes. apologise to your kids and start again. try to build a relationship on love and not fear and pain.
This pastor is wrong, however since we're living in 2012 she is not married. Sooooo, what is the correct form of punishment? Agree too old to hit, but what happens when the leverage is gone? Take away everything and make them pioneers. What if that doesn't work? You can't go back, so......
Thanks Claire for your wonderful testimony off perfect children and how you have a perfect world and if you do exactly what you are supposed to do with each child they will turn out as perfect as yours. Maybe our should become a counselor and help troubled families. There are parents that have never raised a hand to their children and still have died at the hands of hat disturbed child. If what you say is correct why is it so many run a ways and so many juveniles. Every child is different deal with them on there level. Like I said she needs a good slap in the mouth it does a body GOOD. Also @mind your business you are so emotionally disturbed you hater you start off talking bout money and then jail, you never mention counseling GO SIT DOWN and TAKE YOUR MEDICINE anything gets you going.
Conti. speaking from personal experience having raised 2 beautiful and responsible young women.
@claire: congrats in making one of the most sensible statements I've seen on this issue.
"spare the rod, spoil the child" was written at a time when a 15 year old girl would already be married or at least betrothed. She would certainly not have been considered a child. (Remember Mary mother of Jesus was around this age, possibly as young as 14). It is beyond dumb to hit a person of that age. As Claire says, if you havent built a culture of respect and dialogue by that point------you have failed as a parent. The best you can do now is seek family counselling together. And pray!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what a failed parent looks like!!
I raised 2 boys, 1 girl and never raised my hand to them after they entered school. I taught them right and wrong and disciplined them by denying them play time, tv time and toys. My daughter is in 2nd year med school, my first son is a sports writer and my 18 year old son is a volunteer in a dam building project in Mozambique.
And yes, they all had their rebellious teen years but if your child does not respect your decisions at that age then you made fundamental mistakes earlier on and frankly, no amount of physical torture will fix it.
STUPID COW! THIS IS OUR BUSINESS. ANY SOCIETY THAT ABANDONS ITS CHILDREN TO THE HANDS OF ABUSIVE FATHERS DOES NOT HAVE ANY RIGHT TO EXIST. READ THE ARREST REPORT, HIS OTHER ADULT DAUGHTER ACTUALLY TESTIFIED AGAINST HIM! IT SAYS HE CHOKED AND PUNCHED THAT TEENAGE GIRL LIKE SHE WAS A GROWN MAN!!!!!
YOU ARE TRULY A DUMB ASS. AS FOR $DOLLAR LETS HOPE HE GOES TO JAIL. WHERE GROWN MEN DEAL WITH MEN WHO ATTACK YOUNG GIRLS. GOOD LUCK PASTOR. LMAO.
Everybody has a comment on someone else business some of these children are getting away with beating and killing their parents everyday. It is a job raising children everyone of them have different personalities. Some parents let their children run all over the place. If he would have let her go out and she got in trouble people would have something to say bout that too. Some of these kids need a good slap in the mouth. If she mouth off to the cops her Li but is going to jail and they are going to beat her down now what.
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