America's Got Talent Review: Hog Tied

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Last night's America's Got Talent auditions were a hodgepodge of good contestants and epic failures the producers conveniently decided to place near the end so we'd remember them during Vegas week.

We started with a pig and ended with a woman full of Olympic spirit. In between? Which acts have a chance to advance far this summer? Read on. Find out. Chime in.

Awesome
Lil Starr - The over-done, one step away from being a pageant girl, wants a million dollars of headbands. Luckily the 40-year annuity will cover her until she's 46. She actually has power in her moves which was something I didn't expect from a six-year-old and she was giving face. She mysteriously had a large fan base in the audience and didn't run out of energy the whole time. I don't she needs all the makeup and glitter to cover up the true potential that she has.

Jacob Williams - The loner that doesn't seem like he ever blinked started off with some nerves but he nervously had this great material that tied in with his awkward personality. I'm not sure how well that would work in a three minute set for the future because his jokes seem to be more story-oriented.

787 Crew - I'm pretty sure that they are exactly the same crew as the Season Six crew from America's Best Dance Crew even though their hair color threw me off, but the Puerto Ricans gave a good show that had solid tricks and strong formations. I see why they lost on ABDC: compared to I aM mE they were very typical. They had some good variation of heights and formation shapes, so I hope they could evolve their crew with some better visuals and costumes.

Mary Joyner - The daughter of Flo-Jo (Florence Griffith-Joyner) and Al Joyner may not have been a runner, but she was a vocal runner. She's perfect for a tie-in with the Olympics. She's obviously not the first child of a star on reality show (see: Jim Carey's Daughter on AI or even Jordin Sparks). She had a few moments of flat notes before the chorus; it may have been trying to give Sara Bareilles more of an R&B undertone. She needs to perform more in the R&B genre. I like her story, I didn't like the rendition, but I wish her the best anyway.

Awful
Smooch Piggy and Thea - Thea tended to talk a little too loud as if she was a bit deaf or she was used to screaming at a pig for her whole life. Smooch didn't really want to perform, but I'm not actually sure if she really wanted to perform. Smooch managed to squeak a horn on a step-stool after Thea dragged the stool to her. Sharon loved animals and voted yes, but the two guys rejected her.

Trish (like Fish) - Anyone who says, "I love him so gorgeous" to describe Howard Stern and mentioned that she loved Jesus. So she followed it up with her fast talking over a beat. It actually didn't seem bad; it was just like that one girl at the mall that talked too fast. She admitted that she only wanted to see Howard so managed to get a hug from him. At least she knew she didn't have talent and just wanted to see him.

Mark Ofuji - The mirror motivator/masseuse was positive about his impression act, but it seemed like he was a one man bad voice-dubber for Japanese film. His act would have survived the whole act if Sharon didn't force Howie to buzz him.

WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE PERFORMER OF THE NIGHT?

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stupid and ugly so you can kiss my ass

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This was another great night of auditions. I loved Lil Star and Jacob Williams who I found funny. Americas Got Talent is one of my favorite primetime shows I’ve watched for a few seasons now. I wouldn’t have ever watched if my coworker from Dish hadn’t suggested it. My wife and I love to watch this together and share a few laughs about what’s funny and what’s definitely not a million dollar act. The only thing better than watching this show is the option to skip commercials. I’ve been able to enjoy my episodes commercial free using the Auto Hop feature. The commercials will always be there if you want to watch them, Auto hop just does the fast forwarding for you. I can watch my entire episode and found that it can be much more entertaining when I’m not yanked from the show every ten minutes by commercials. I won’t put so much wear on my remote anymore.