The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Third Eye Blind

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated the Summer Solstice by trying to open up their third eye chakra on last night's episode. Yeah, we don't know what that means either but we break it all down here in THG's +/- recap!

Teresa is excellent ... at placing blame. On taking responsibility, not so much.

First off she's still upset about her husband's black eye which of course is all Richie's fault. Minus 12. I'm sure poor Joe was just an innocent bystander in that scuffle.

Who is she kidding? But in usual Teresa fashion she can't let it go. She even tells Rich he could have poked his eye out. 

Real Housewives of NJ Pic

Joe's a big boy. I'm sure he can fight his own battles.

Of course it's hard to tell who has the brains in the Guidice family. We know Joe's had at least one DWI, then was caught driving with a suspended license, and finally took someone else's ID to try and get a new license. Minus 15.

Somehow the guy can always find a way to make a bad situation worse.

Teresa cries about what's being said in magazine articles about her and her family but even Jacqueline realizes that Teresa's making her own problems there so Plus 8. She agreed to do the interview and I'm sure she got paid handsomely for it. Now she's crying?

While everyone's down the shore their problems simmer under the surface. The kids look like the only ones having fun but they're also allowed to run wild.

Kathy seems to only one to worry about the little ones playing around the water. And then we see the kids running in the street. Oye. Minus 10 because it looks like a disaster waiting to happen.

As Gia is seen screaming with fists clenched as she tries to discipline little terror, Milania, I wonder where she learned that behavior from?

Giudice, T.

But back to Teresa. The minute she hears that Caroline is going through menopause she decides that's the reason she's been such a bitch to her. Of course it has nothing to do with anything Teresa's done. Minus 9.

Back home, Caroline tries to encourage Lauren in her weight loss goal and the girl is looking thinner despite snarky comments from her brothers. Plus 10.

But Lauren's got some real self esteem issues. She seems to think making lots of money and being thin will help that. I don't think Lauren needs money as much as she needs to get out on her own and stand on her own two feet, without her family coddling her.

Then we're off to the Summer Solstice party where everyone wears white and hopes to cleanse the bad energy. Ha! 

I have to mention, if Melissa's outfit got any shorter she might have gotten cited for indecent exposure. I think those were shorts, sort of. At least she's got the legs for it so Plus 10.

Jacqueline keeps trying to play mediator between Teresa and Melissa and quite literally throws the two together. Plus 8 for having good intentions but it's true. The road to Hell is paved with them.

First Teresa walks away because Melissa brought up that her husband went to jail. Is this some big secret? No but apparently there's special Jersey code that she failed to use. No one is supposed to mention jail or prison.

The correct protocol is to say that he went away. Minus 12. How sad is it that this is common enough in their lives to have a set of rules for discussing it.

Poor Jacque

When Teresa storms off, Jacqueline follows but Teresa's upset that Melissa didn't chase after her. She is such a drama queen.

When Melissa gets dragged out there again, she finally tells Teresa how ticked off she is that she's running around basically saying that Melissa's a cheater. Plus 8 for finally calling out the elephant in the room. 

But Teresa's not about to apologize. She's heard it from people. I always love the mysterious people reference as if that excuses anything she's said.

Then Teresa blames her brother for telling Melissa in the first place. Minus 7. As if he wasn't going to tell his wife!  But then again I wonder how much Teresa's husband hides from her.

If Jacqueline thinks she can fix any of this she's completely naive and she's probably going to have to pick a side in this war soon. 

Unfortunately we never even get to the psychic readings. And Kathy wonders how things got so bad. The party had its own fairies for goodness sake.

So do you think Teresa's so fixated on Melissa cheating on Joe because she worries about her brother or is she just distracting herself from the fears that her own husband is cheating on her.  What are the odds?

Just another party in Jersey.

EPISODE TOTAL: -21! SEASON TOTAL: -132!

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I have watched this show off and on for awhile and I have to tell you .... Tre is one of the most stupid people I have ever heard speak. Is all this for real?

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Seriously, watch your children. I know you wanna have a good time and party but you have young children running around with little or NO supervision. The Wakile's are the only ones that could get away without worry as their kids are older. Get a nanny for the summer people or pay the Wakile's teens to keep an eye on them
Theresa , give Melissa a break. Suck it up and act like grown-ups. Joe Guidice grow up! You have 4 beautiful girls and the way you act is not for them to see. I bet you feel like you've lost your manhood because your wife is running the show now. Joe Gorga, HELLO, you sound like you're 16 when it comes to getting a little

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I LOVE this show but it cant possibly be any more fake or scripted - do you actually think people behave like that without being paid to ?? Nevertheless its like watching a trainwreck - staged as it is -

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teresa is stupid ugly bitch she wishies she could be melissa.thats why she hate her so much .she is one sick ugly whore

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Pretty good article, except why plus points for Lauren's strange diet? I have never liked Teresa and still don't. I am glad Melissa confronted her. And btw, some people don't say "going way", they say "going to college". LOL.

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Caroline is also focused on not hurting her parents and keep her family problems out of the program, Too bad for Teresa and her parents that Joe and Melissa do not give a damn about the family Hell Caroline just loves to help,,,Such a hypocrite,

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I'm glad Caroline thinks her sons are good looking and successful.

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I use to love Caroline, but in the past 2 seasons I have really changed my mind. She raises those boys to make them think they are god's gift and her daughter -- she just doesn't speak the same way about her and that is so sad. p.s. you forgot to mention ashley

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Caroline comes across as a self riotous hypocrite,she has no sense of decency when it comes to family and friends her take on her daughters weight is shameful. To sit in the MD'S office and do all the talking is a put down... To criticize Teresa and think her opinions are justified, leaves one wondering why she doesn't take her own inventory??? Kathy and her husband are just as bad, they really think they are perfect people, far from it..I hate to tell all of you without Teresa the show would be a complete flop.. I'm rooting for Gudice family and their adorable daughters....

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The hilarity in blaming everything on Teresa just shows how pig headed the cast is, and how naive their fans are. Teresa is never allowed to say a word to anyone about anyone or anything and god forbid she does she needs to make several apologies and still to no avail gets any redemption, yet her brother and his hag wife can say whatever they want about her, her kids, her husband, her lifestyle and anything else under the sun, and Teresa is the shit stirring moron?
So asinine I can't even begin to comprehend it. It's clearly and painfully obvious that Joe and Melissa have ulterior motives in joining the show and want to bring Teresa down. And Caroline calling Teresa a bully? Ummmm so you aren't a bully by saying mean things to and about Teresa, nor are you a bully to your kid? Yeah, pot kettle.