The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Drowning Pool

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Here comes the drama.

Hanging out by the pool. Doesn't that sound relaxing? Yes, unless you're on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Then it's pretty much the exact opposite.

Then you'll probably need a stiff drink to get through an afternoon in the sun.

We recap all the fussing, feuding, and name calling in our THG's +/- recap!

Teresa G. Photo

How can you not love Caroline's mock phone call between Teresa and Joe? It was hilarious. Plus 10

And why does Caroline think Teresa hates Melissa. Because "she's a better, younger version" of Teresa. Plus 8. That sounds about right.

But as everyone else is discussing Teresa's behavior, Teresa is telling her husband her version of the Solstice party and Joe has some definite opinions.

First, Melissa is a horse-face, gold digging tramp. Caroline is boring. Rosie's a butchy boy, and the idiot cousin (I can only assume he means Kathy ... no offense to Kathy) looks like a frog. 

Joe Guidice certainly has an opinion about everyone but the scariest is the one he holds about himself. He tells Teresa he's the powerhouse and she doesn't need anyone else. Minus 12. What happens when they haul his sorry butt off to jail again?

Oh, and Teresa says her brother is a little pansy for telling his wife about their conversation. How can you not love family?

But Teresa's not just sitting around bad mouthing her family. She's off to Jacqueline's for some gossip and a session with personal trainer Jolene. 
Pigskin

Why does Jolene have an open bottle of wine in her bag?  I've never known a trainer her brought her own cocktails. Minus 7. Besides, you should never hire a personal trainer who shows up wearing that much makeup to workout.

On a side note, was anyone else blinded by the amount of bling on Teresa's phone. Minus 5. My eyes are still watering.

Let's leave the train wreck that is Teresa for a bit to visit with Caroline's family.

It almost made me sick to think that Chris was buying an $80,000 car. It disturbed me so much that I was grateful when Albert gave Caroline the Jag as her anniversary present. Plus 7.

But it wasn't the overpriced car that earns them the big points. Plus 20 for walking us down memory lane at The Brownstone. Looking back at their first years living over the restaurant and raising their new family was so sweet. These two truly love one another 27 years later.

Unfortunately, the Teresa free zone doesn't last long. Kathy invites the entire gang over for the end of the school year party. 

Plus 12 to Rich for warning the kids not to invite their friends. He can see the warning signs ahead and he's getting the innocents out of the way.

Caroline and Jacqueline both bail and plus 10 for Joe Guidice not showing up. That truly would have been a nightmare.

Here We Go Again

For some reason Kathy thinks she can be the glue that will bring the Guidices and the Gorgas back together. Minus 12. Oh honey, let it go.

Teresa and her brother have a mini summit as Melissa runs around after the kids. Teresa tells Joe he's no longer her brother because of what he's done. She wants him to be the old Joe. The one that always put her first and spent lots of time at her house.

Hmm…uh, what part of being married and having kids doesn't Teresa get. Minus 15. The man has a wife and a family yet she seems to think he should be his priority. Oye.

He's just the meanest brother ever! 

Unfortunately Gorga ruins the moment by telling her he's an angel from God. Apparently low self esteem isn't a problem in this family.

I think that's enough pool time. It's going to be a long, hot summer in Jersey.

EPISODE TOTAL: +16! SEASON TOTAL: -116!

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I wonder if daddy Manzo bought the $80K Jaguar for Caroline or if it was leased. Whatever, I'm sure they worked out a real sweet deal. Maybe daddy Manzo is saving up from his side job working for the water utility at $10K a year plus benefits. Oh, I forgot, he resigned from that job after it was discovered he used the Brownstone address for that job.

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I can't stand the way Teresa is being bullied by her brother, Caroline and the rest of these mean girls. Teresa did so well on Celebrity Apprentice when she was away from these toxic people. Richie is an awful human being. I probably won't watch next season unless Caroline, Joe Gorga, Richie, and the rest of these abusive sad people are gone.

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The Guidice's will not get the help that they need as long as they are getting paid to abuse one-another on reality TV.It makes me sick they profit from such bad behavior. YES Teresa "you're fired!"

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Teresa is the dumbest broad in Jersey. Any woman who thinks their brother should put her before his wife and kids is nuts, the way she lets her husband talk to her and their children is not acceptable and going away instead of going to "jail" is just plain stupid. Tre, Joe and their semi-cute kids need to go. Yuck

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I would also like to see Teresa and her family off the show. OMG, that would absolutely KILL Teresa if Bravo dumped her. ROFLMAO.

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There's something really wrong with Teresa's head I'm sure there's a diagnosis to be made there. She's delusional and if RHWONJ don't acknowledge it they'll just keep losing viewers. It's not fun to watch its just annoying as hell, I always change the channel when she comes on now. Nothing wrong with Melissa that we can see, and Teresa's explanations for her own antics don't even make sense. Take her off the show its getting annoying!

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I so hope they fire Teresa and get her and her loser husband off the show!! I don't even watch this year because of her and her family. Such a jealous loser who thrives on drama! Go away Teresa...just go away!!!

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