The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Drowning Pool

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Here comes the drama.

Hanging out by the pool. Doesn't that sound relaxing? Yes, unless you're on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Then it's pretty much the exact opposite.

Then you'll probably need a stiff drink to get through an afternoon in the sun.

We recap all the fussing, feuding, and name calling in our THG's +/- recap!

Teresa G. Photo

How can you not love Caroline's mock phone call between Teresa and Joe? It was hilarious. Plus 10

And why does Caroline think Teresa hates Melissa. Because "she's a better, younger version" of Teresa. Plus 8. That sounds about right.

But as everyone else is discussing Teresa's behavior, Teresa is telling her husband her version of the Solstice party and Joe has some definite opinions.

First, Melissa is a horse-face, gold digging tramp. Caroline is boring. Rosie's a butchy boy, and the idiot cousin (I can only assume he means Kathy ... no offense to Kathy) looks like a frog. 

Joe Guidice certainly has an opinion about everyone but the scariest is the one he holds about himself. He tells Teresa he's the powerhouse and she doesn't need anyone else. Minus 12. What happens when they haul his sorry butt off to jail again?

Oh, and Teresa says her brother is a little pansy for telling his wife about their conversation. How can you not love family?

But Teresa's not just sitting around bad mouthing her family. She's off to Jacqueline's for some gossip and a session with personal trainer Jolene. 
Pigskin

Why does Jolene have an open bottle of wine in her bag?  I've never known a trainer her brought her own cocktails. Minus 7. Besides, you should never hire a personal trainer who shows up wearing that much makeup to workout.

On a side note, was anyone else blinded by the amount of bling on Teresa's phone. Minus 5. My eyes are still watering.

Let's leave the train wreck that is Teresa for a bit to visit with Caroline's family.

It almost made me sick to think that Chris was buying an $80,000 car. It disturbed me so much that I was grateful when Albert gave Caroline the Jag as her anniversary present. Plus 7.

But it wasn't the overpriced car that earns them the big points. Plus 20 for walking us down memory lane at The Brownstone. Looking back at their first years living over the restaurant and raising their new family was so sweet. These two truly love one another 27 years later.

Unfortunately, the Teresa free zone doesn't last long. Kathy invites the entire gang over for the end of the school year party. 

Plus 12 to Rich for warning the kids not to invite their friends. He can see the warning signs ahead and he's getting the innocents out of the way.

Caroline and Jacqueline both bail and plus 10 for Joe Guidice not showing up. That truly would have been a nightmare.

Here We Go Again

For some reason Kathy thinks she can be the glue that will bring the Guidices and the Gorgas back together. Minus 12. Oh honey, let it go.

Teresa and her brother have a mini summit as Melissa runs around after the kids. Teresa tells Joe he's no longer her brother because of what he's done. She wants him to be the old Joe. The one that always put her first and spent lots of time at her house.

Hmm…uh, what part of being married and having kids doesn't Teresa get. Minus 15. The man has a wife and a family yet she seems to think he should be his priority. Oye.

He's just the meanest brother ever! 

Unfortunately Gorga ruins the moment by telling her he's an angel from God. Apparently low self esteem isn't a problem in this family.

I think that's enough pool time. It's going to be a long, hot summer in Jersey.

EPISODE TOTAL: +16! SEASON TOTAL: -116!

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Will not watch Housewives of NJ,anymore, so sick of Teresa and family, they are so sick, we have enough of bulling in this county and sure sick of adults acting this way
Barbara K

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Linda roman (above) must reAlly be Teresa, that's the only way that post could seem logical!I

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Jacqueline is not helping Tresa with honest answers to situations. She is like a fly in the wall "listening to the problem" and closing her mouth with a real answer (not confrontational - but truthful answers). She is sick - playing both ends of the stick!

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I am so so sick of caroline Omg you could see the jealousy in her face when she talks about teresa just because shes
Doing well with this book it's just jealousy :) she needs to focus on her daughter and her weight issues and not make it a pity party my god all she's doing is complaining I know it's hard but my god you're taping a whole episode whith grown girl with big pouty face and complaining:/I'm a mother 5 children and her daughter is acting like my 13 year old and they have the nerve to talk teresa's daughter gia please.and richie oh my god I'm sorry he looks like a perve and melissa "Yikes " have some respect for your husband and dress like a mother going to another woman's house half naked very disrespectful knowing that other men are going to be there what are you teaching your daughter I have 4 daughters and very proud of all of them they have respect for themselves and others because of me yes the matriarch of my family

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Theres something to be said for all of these pathetic people, espically Joe Guidice, I cant stand the way he spaeaks to his kids. Its painful to watch, yet their seem to be use to it. Teresa can defend herself, they cant. The kids, dont seem faze by the verbal abuse, you know what this means, when they grow up, they will think this is normal and they will be abused by their husbands and think its normal. Not good. I know Theresa loves her family but she is putting herself and those kids at risk by putting up with Joe's behavior. He is also a drunk, and lazy and he is terribly ungrateful to his wife who works so hard to make a good life for them. This show is sad to watch. Not fun anymore, just tragic watching all of these people self-destruct. With the exception of Caroline & her husband this people are destroying themselves for 15minutes of fame. Sad, yet I watch it LOL

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I wish Teresa was my sister. She cares about her relationship with her brother and her parents and wants the best for them. I believe Teresa would be the first one to show up if ever her brother or her parents needed help. She would do anything for her family. All my sister cares about it getting money off our parents and she only visits her elderly and sick parents about 4 times a year (or when she needs something) - and the cold bitc_ only lives 5 minutes away!

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I don't like Teresa but I like her more than Caroline and that no-talent Melissa. It is so interesting how Caroline has turned on Teresa now that Teresa is making money off her cook books and is a best seller. Caroline turned on Danielle when she was the highlight of the show. What Teresa wrote about the Manzo family was just stupid. If you listen to Teresa you can see how different her thinking is and it came through in the book. I agree with Teresa that Melissa will leave her husband for a richer man. Melissa's only out for herself and she will leave everyone in the dust to achieve fame.

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Melissa is not fake ! Teresa belives her brother joe should put her first. Teresa is jealous of her brother and family. Caroline is right that Teresa is not herself anymore. Teresa is just trying to stir up drama just like Danielle did !!

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I think Melissa has her husband over a barrel. She is so fake and into herself and will stop at nothing to be a recording artist - good thing for the modern technology that will be needed to make Melissa sound good... And I am so tired of Melissa's guido husband always mentioning how much he wants to _ _ _ _ her all the time - its like he's trying real hard to prove something - pure trash from Paterson NJ. The whole show has become all about Teresa. Nothing interesting - just lots of silly arguments.

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I definitely don’t think RHONJ is losing viewers because of Teresa. She brings in viewers. The show has become too dark now. This started happening with the addition of Mellissa and Joey. The close families and the true friendships between them was one of the biggest appeals to the show. Watching them destroy friendships and family is a deterrent.
They can edit and Mellissa and Joey can scheme and do their best to paint the picture that they’re innocent in all this, but the reality is transparent, Mellissa wanted Teresa’s fame and felt entitled to it, despite what that meant for the health of anyone else or their relationships.
Also, I watch Celebrity Apprentice. I'm happy Arsenio and Clay made it to the final two. I thought Teresa did a good job and I do think she brings viewers. She works hard and she is likable. Hope Arsenio takes it though.

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