Keeping Up With the Kardashians is back!
Sadly, this season has been all Kris Jenner.
On last week's Keeping Up season premiere, Khloe Kardashian's paternity non-issues took center stage. This week, she's on the outs with Kourtney Kardashian.
Why? Find out here in our official rekap!
Kourtney Kardashian is not a fan of her mom's book. Or new attitude. "My mom's just like, talking about some hot guy at the concert and I just find every little thing she's saying annoying," she says. "She's a married woman, it's just inappropriate."
It's the past that really bugs her though. The two have it out over her mother's affair and subsequent divorce, something that makes this contrived, scripted show feel real and close to home for the first time probably ever. Plus 30.
"I didn't do something on purpose to hurt you," Kris says. "I was too young and stupid to make a good decision. If I had to do it all over again obviously I wouldn't do it." No, Ryan Seacrest Productions would never have written it. Minus 20.Plus 5 for Scott at least trying to be there for Kourtney.
Plus 25 for Kourt's apology and opening up at the end.
Kris just sucks, though. Minus 220. She'd say or do anything for money or fame. Yes, this is America and she's successful and blah-blah-blah. When your job is "momager," it's time to reassess your priorities in life. Honestly.
Plus 10 for Bruce taking Kim, Kendall and Kylie on a hike and chasing Kim around with a spider, which the arachnophobia-prone star HATES.
"It's just not funny, I am so afraid of spiders," Kim says. "He wants to mess around Well, Mr. Olympics can hurdle his way home. He can sprint, javelin his way, whatever." Plus only 5 because there's no way Kim thought up that good a line.
Kim plots revenge, letting Bruce borrow her Ferrari, then "stealing" it with her spare key and letting it believe it happened on his watch. A little different than chasing a person with a spider, no? Minus only 5, because it is clever.
Plus 10 for Scott giving it away before Bruce had a heart attack.
Plus 10 more for Bruce giving props at being punked, though obviously Kim orchestrated none of that on her own. Nice going, producers!
Finally, Kylie Jenner is annoyed with sister Kendall's passiveness when they get a gig as a Seventeen West Coast Fashion Contributor. She's too shy!
On a trip to Malibu to find new models, Kylie ends up being the only one taking action while Kendall sticks to the sidelines. By definition, Wash.
After Kylie vents to Kim Kardashian about Kendall's lack of teamwork, the older sister does her best to impart some important words of "wisdom."
"You have to figure out what your strengths and weaknesses are and meet in the middle," Kim says, adding that Kourt and Khloe helped bring her out of her shy stage.
Well, those two and Ray J. Plus 50.
EPISODE TOTAL: -100. SEASON TOTAL: -220.