The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season Finale Recap: Happiness & Joy

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On the season finale of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, one marriage ends, another is about to begin, and Kandi hopes her new business will spread "Happiness & Joy."

In case you missed a moment of the suspense, we break down all of the Rolex watches, Porsches, and bright pink vibrators right here in THG's +/- review ...

NeNe finally signed the divorce papers and she's feeling down. Time for a little shopping therapy with Cynthia. I'll give her a Plus 5 for finally making a decision and moving on.

But not so fast. NeNe's lamenting that divorce means she and Gregg will have to cut off everything, even the sex. Yes, NeNe. For most people that's what divorce means.

NeNe Divorcing

NeNe's looking to live the single life as a player and that means continuing to string sleazy John along. Minus 12. If I never see this man again it will still be too soon.

Unfortunately as long as he's plying NeNe with fancy shoes and Rolex watches, she'll keep taking his calls even if she looks wildly uncomfortable sitting next to him. 

Cynthia's working on The Bailey Agency model search and from the look of that line outside everyone and their ugly sister thinks they can be a model. Minus 10

However I did think it was amusing when Cynthia chastises a girl for wearing shorts that barely cover her butt while Cynthia is sitting there practically falling out of her top.

Cyn tells her new class of wannabes that you need to be smart to be a model.  You see they'll need to go from an airport, to a hotel, and even an agency all by themselves.

They might even have to find their own restaurants to eat at. Minus 12. Mensa graduates need not apply.

It's Kroy's birthday so he and Kim head out for dinner but they never make it past the appetizers. They're both so excited about his new gift that they take the entree to go. So what's the big surprise? 

Kim and Kroy Toast

The valet drives up with Kroy's brand new Porsche Panamera Turbo Sedan. It is one smokin' hot car and Plus 20 to Kim. She can buy me a present any day. 

But Kim's a little nervous. She hopes the car is OK because she's never even driven it. Not to worry. I'm sure it will be more than fine.

Kandi's adult toy line is ready to launch. Plus 11 because I do love the cheeky name. Bedroom Kandi has high end packaging and lots of hot pink attachments. She's planning a premiere party and enlists Phaedra and Sheree's help to hire the entertainment. 

The ladies are more than happy to weed out the hot men from the regular looking guys who walk though the door. Phaedra's even quick to ask them to cut to the chase and take their shirts off when they walk in. Plus 5 because it does save time.

The crew they pick are hunky, shirtless men who feed them strawberries and massage their feet. Can I get an invite to this party?

Looks like almost anyone can as Kandi announces it on Twitter much to NeNe, Marlo, and Cynthia's dismay. They don't care to mingle with the masses and spend their evening hiding in a corner. Minus 8.  It's rude not to say hello to you host ... and friend!

NeNe wants to be a player but a sex toy party is a little too much for her.  Or was it that Kim entered the room. Minus 7 because it's really time to get over that. Either way, NeNe flees early. She won't even get a shoulder massage although I'll admit I've never had to get into bondage chains for a massage before?!? 

Housewives Getting Worked

The funny part is that NeNe is Cynthia and Marlo's ride but she ditches them and runsSo much for a fun night out with the girls.

With the season over, we get a brief recap of what the ladies are now up to:

  • I thought Kandi was a little too excited by her own sex toys but obviously I was wrong. The profits from spreading "Happiness & Joy" have paid for a new luxury estate. Plus 10.
  • Perhaps Sheree should consider this industry. She's still fighting with her ex over child support and Chateau Sheree is nothing more than a hole in the ground. Minus 8.
  • Of course Phaedra's got two new ventures.  She's designing a new make up line for morticians and she and Apollo or shooting a fitness video…specializing in donkey booties. I can't even score that one.
  • Cynthia's modeling classes are full and she and Mal are speaking again ... just not about Peter. Plus 3.
  • And NeNe's moving on, sort of. She snagged a recurring role on Glee and although she's officially divorced, she and Gregg are still having a friends with benefits relationship. Minus 5 for not quite moving on.
  • Kim and Kroy officially tied the knot on 11/11/11. Plus 15 to the happy couple and the cool wedding date. Minus 3 because they have yet to take their honeymoon.

EPISODE TOTAL: +7! SEASON TOTAL: -383!

The season might be over but we've still got the reunion show to live through so check back next week to recap one more week of fussing an fighting from Atlanta.

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I can't stand NENE she is a awful women loud back stabbin two timing double talking witch I like all the rest of the women and i wish they would have a little sisterhood without NENE they could. They all do great till she comes around trying to knock everyone down i'm so tired of her.

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Luv me some Phaedra! Can't stand sheree, can't believe what kind of back- stabbin',two faced, woman she really is., Good keeping busy and making that money for Kandy., Cynthia needs to grow a backbone and a brain., last but not least... Ne Ne, You letting fame get the best of you, Your head is getting to swole! Keep your yourself humble or ya just might lose your 30 minutes of fame. Marlo is just a weird woman.

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Sheree is so full of herself and alway creating problems between the other ladies ,this woman cannot be trusted all she does is take news and bring news I do hope she will realize her behaviour and change one day

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Ne Ne keeps it real , Phadera is sweet and means no harm, Cynthia is not bad , Kandi is my girl like her... Can not stand Sheree and Kim anymore , Sheree is sooo two face and nasty mannish looking and Kim looks like a tranny !! Marlo is gett-ho but she is funny to watch !!

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Phaedra Parks is the sh*t for her focused productive life. She has connections from Atl to da motherland. The was talkin that noise about phae phae representing BobbyBrown like it was nothing. But I didnt see them at Whitneys funeral. And now shes giving deceased people a fresh new line of "May b my lasttime" cosemetics. Keep up da good work Phaedra!!! Hats off for Mrs.Kandi Buress. ALWAYS an inspiration of mine. I am a singer and writer. Kandi has been through hell and back and through it all has a smile on her face. Loves and cherishes Mrs. Joyce and Ms. Riley with everything in her. @ no matter how horney she gets never brings anyone home. Instead she goes home and invents what she needs to accomodate all her needs, sexually and most important financially. If only Phaedra r Kandi were gay!!! (D*mn D*mn D*mn n my Florida Evans voice) I love NeNe for buckin on Star Jones, @ for bouncing off the apprentice like Donald youve been fired. Kim is filthy rich. Cynthia needs to slap Malorie.

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Phaedra Parks is the sh*t for her focused productive life. She has connections from Atl to da motherland. The was talkin that noise about phae phae representing BobbyBrown like it was nothing. But I didnt see them at Whitneys funeral. And now shes giving deceased people a fresh new line of "May b my lasttime" cosemetics. Keep up da good work Phaedra!!! Hats off for Mrs.Kandi Buress. ALWAYS an inspiration of mine. I am a singer and writer. Kandi has been through hell and back and through it all has a smile on her face. Loves and cherishes Mrs. Joyce and Ms. Riley with everything in her. @ no matter how horney she gets never brings anyone home. Instead she goes home and invents what she needs to accomodate all her needs, sexually and most important financially. If only Phaedra r Kandi were gay!!! (Damn Damn Damn n my Florida Evans voice) I love NeNe for buckin on Star Jones, @ for bouncing off the apprentice like Donald youve been fired. Kim is filthy rich. Cynthia needs to slap Malorie.

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lol...i guess the writer scorer is white as Kim was scored higher than Kandi for driving up in hot car, rather than for an entreprenure who is successful enough to buy a luxury estate. Also Cynthia, not depending on a man starts her business with full class but she is scored less than Kim the parasite who only knows how to attached herself to money and suck like a vampire.

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@SMH- I totally agree with u. Her fame has went straight to her head and she is going to realize that she made a big mistake. She has lost all her friends. Cynthia is so damn weak and dumb. And so far up NENE ass that she cant think 4 herself. And Marlo, she is so damn irrelevant. She ainT nuthin but a high class hoe. And i do mean high class. And by the looks of things Nene is taking notes from her. Cuz she damn sure got Mr. John paying for something. BLOOP!

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I like NeNe, Kandi,and Phaedra they keep it real. Cynthia is ok,she just needs to speak her mind more, Kim was ok when she was friends with all the girls and Sheree i did like her until she became two faced. Maybe they should start all over and get a new cast.

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Phaedra is my favorite, really awesome. NeNe leaves me feeling worn out, hope she's gone from this show. She says, "when I walk into a room, I own it". Buy her for what she's worth, sell her for what she thinks she's worth.....I could retire. She is an amazon, not one bit attractive.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks