The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Recap: Growth is Hard to Find

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Growth is a beautiful thing. Of course it can also be hard to find.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion, Part 1, offered up a lot of talk about growth but what we saw was merely a an hour's worth of screeching, eye rolling, and one upmanship Atlanta style so we'll break it down in THG's +/- review ...

Andy starts off asking why the ladies love to talk about there designer labels.

It's true, these women are always going on and on about who they're wearing and what they're buying. They may think it makes them appear wealthy, but they only look like a bunch of insecure wannabes. Minus 12.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Cast Picture

Somehow all roads led back to NeNe tonight. If she wasn't defending herself or yelling at someone she was rolling her eyes while the others were talking.

And she was wearing the most ridiculous looking heels of the group. Minus 5. How the heck does she walk in those things.

First we'll start off with Kandi whose sex toy line, Bedroom Kandi is making her a mint of money. Plus 8. You go girl! Phaedra says she's helping make sure the products work well but NeNe simply looks uncomfortable. Kandi calls her out on it. Didn't NeNe used to be a stripper. Maybe so but sex toys are not her thing. 

NeNe says she's grown and she ain't got time for these ladies. Well, she isn't threatening to kill anyone this season so I suppose we can count that as growth. Plus 9.

So once we break away from Kandi's cleavage (seriously, she must be glued into that dress), we move over to Kim… and more cleavage.

Kim is so blissfully happy it is almost sickening. Andy asks about her spending habits but she swears that although she likes to spend, they aren't stupid about it. Let's hope so for the kids' sake. She also says that she and Sweetie are still friends and that she came to Brielle's birthday party. Plus 5 because I was so worried about that.

Then Kim breaks the big news. She's pregnant again. Damn, she and Kroy sure work fast but Plus 10 for the happy news.

Happy Kim Zolciak

Well, not everyone seems so happy. NeNe looks downright ticked off and Cynthia's not much better. Minus 8

Is it a boy or girl?  Rose her friendly psychic advisor says it's a girl but Kim's not telling. We'll all have to wait and see.

Andy then tries to steer the conversation to Big Poppa but Kim says she won't talk about him in respect of her new husband. Plus 7. Good call.

Finally we wander over to Sheree who cries about Bob still not paying child support. Yup, the guy's a jerk. Nothing has changed there except that Sheree's still blaming Phaedra for the way she handled the case. Minus 10. It's been months. Phaedra returned her retainer and recommended another attorney. What more does she want?

Chateau Sheree is still a hole in the ground but she says she's got a new contractor and things are back on track. Then NeNe calls her project Neverland, as in it's never going to happen and suddenly things turn ugly.

Sheree tells NeNe she has donkey teeth and NeNe says hers could use a whitening. Classy, ladies. Minus 5

Grl Plz

The two are actually screeching so much it's hard to make out what they're saying but it's all about how much money they claim to have and when NeNe says she doesn't shop at Walmart, Sheree is quick to shoot back that her son still steals from there.

Minus 15 because bringing the kids into this isn't cool and NeNe calls her on it. Then Kim jumps back in reminding NeNe that she didn't have a problem tweeting about her kids having different baby daddies. NeNe claims it's not the same thing. You can decide who's right on that one.

The screeching doesn't end until the show does but don't worry, it isn't over yet. We'll have part two next week and you just know there'll be rehashing the Africa nonsense. It's the storyline that just won't end.

EPISODE TOTAL: -6! SEASON TOTAL: -389!

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The Real Housewives of Atlanta Quotes

[to Kenya Moore] You best hope nothing happens to me, because you might not have a job. I'm your storyline. I sustain your career . . . I built you, so stop playing games.

Apollo Nida

[to Kenya Moore] "You a sneaky, trifling slut."

Phaedra Parks