Simon van Kempen Orgasmed During Birth of Son

There are times when we love our job. Hot case in point: when Heidi Klum nude photos hit the Internet.

There are also times when we'd prefer to be an airport baggage handler. Disgusting case in point: when we learn that Simon van Kempen had an orgasm while his wife gave birth.

This nugget came to our nauseating attention today, as an except from "Little Kids, Big City: Tales from a Real House in New York City" is making its way around the Internet.

The memoir, penned by Simon and Alex McCord in 2010, details the lives of the former Real Housewives of New York City cast members. In it, McCord writes of welcoming her first child into the world:

Once he was finally out of my body, I experienced a tsunami of endorphins that was almost orgasmic, and I understand completely the stories of women who have written about ecstatic birth. Simon was sitting behind me at the point of birth, and later, when we untangled ourselves, he discovered he’d actually ejaculated though hadn’t felt any of the normal lead-up to that.

Yes, this was published two years ago. But we first heard about it today and - we're very sorry - but we saw it as our mission to pass it along. You may now go deposit your lunch in the nearest toilet.