Jessica Simpson Quotes: Swamp Ass, Hungry Vaginas & Other Musings on Pregnancy

by at . Comments
As Jessica Simpson's baby bump gets bigger, so does the girl's mouth ... in a manner of speaking. The girl's quotes about pregnancy just keep getting more absurd.Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Pic

Don't get us wrong ... the Jessica Simpson nude cover of Elle was pretty, and we're happy she's excited for the birth of her daughter Maxwell (seriously) in May.

There have been TMI moments, however, as she can't go an hour without telling us ALL about it. Some of the best/worst Jessica Simpson pregnancy quotes.

Jessica Simpson and Jay Leno
  • "Kraft mac and cheese with Lawry's seasoning salt is the breakfast for pregnant champions!"
  • "Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins? Yikes!"
  • "The average person expels gas 15 times each day. The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!"
  • "I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hookah. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!"
  • "I just started referring to myself as Swamp Ass. Like, I have 'swamp ass' right now. I seriously had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It's like the bayou up in that region."
  • "I am definitely 'feeling intimate' ... I'm kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!"
  • "Oh my God, y'all. I just had a daydream that my vagina ate a bag of Skittles!"
Tags: ,
Avatar

WHO CARES WHAT SHE SAYS. We all knbow that preggo woman are ill tempered, smelly, sweaty and NOT nice to look at.

Jessica Simpson Biography

Best Jessica Simpson Photo Ever Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Born
Birthplace
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson
x Close Ad