Jessica Simpson Quotes: Swamp Ass, Hungry Vaginas & Other Musings on Pregnancy

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As Jessica Simpson's baby bump gets bigger, so does the girl's mouth ... in a manner of speaking. The girl's quotes about pregnancy just keep getting more absurd.
Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Pic

Don't get us wrong ... the Jessica Simpson nude cover of Elle was pretty, and we're happy she's excited for the birth of her daughter Maxwell (seriously) in May.

There have been TMI moments, however, as she can't go an hour without telling us ALL about it. Some of the best/worst Jessica Simpson pregnancy quotes.

Jessica Simpson and Jay Leno
  • "Kraft mac and cheese with Lawry's seasoning salt is the breakfast for pregnant champions!"
  • "Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins? Yikes!"
  • "The average person expels gas 15 times each day. The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!"
  • "I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hookah. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!"
  • "I just started referring to myself as Swamp Ass. Like, I have 'swamp ass' right now. I seriously had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It's like the bayou up in that region."
  • "I am definitely 'feeling intimate' ... I'm kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!"
  • "Oh my God, y'all. I just had a daydream that my vagina ate a bag of Skittles!"

I have given birth to three kids and never acted so out the box stupid as Jessica. Sorry, but her comments are not those of an intelligent grown mature woman.


@joeamhert you are just a jerk! So shut up & go back to your cave. As for Jessica please, please don't talk about your hemorrhoids & most importantly don't tell us anything else about your pregnancy-we don't need the intimate details about what's going on in the delivery room either. Just show us pictures of the beautiful baby girl after she's cleaned up. That's what we are all looking forward to hearing about is her name, weight, inches etc. You know normal things that you should be telling us, keep all the other details to your family. Good luck & we can't wait to see the beautiful baby when she finally arrives & I hope you bring her on the Rachael Ray show the 1st chance you get.


Why must we pick on Jessica? Really all she is doing is what most typical pregnant woman do in a room full of girlfriends. She once shared her entire life on camera so why are you surprised by her being so open about her comments and reality about pregnancy. I don't see a thing wrong with what she is saying. If you don't like it, don't read it or listen to it...that's pretty simple. Why bash her? I think it takes much more class and guts to be REAL than to pretend that things are all peaches and cream. A little dose of reality doesn't hurt once in awhile. I applaud her for not being fake and actually she's always had that quirky sense of humor. You obviously just don't get usual people are so quick to bash and put others down!


Jessica Simpson...SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!!! Thank you.




@Joenamherst - Seriously? You must be just a kid without a wife who has no clue what all this really is or means to a woman or her man. When you finally grow up and get married you'll get it. Until then, shut up!!


she is a dumb ass, no question about it. now she is just another knocked up ho with a baby daddy. she just happens to have a lot of money.


pls lets not blame jessy look pregnant women have the tendernce to act weird so whats the big deal with jessica talking like a pregnant women she is pregnant duhhh


Other women have been pregnant before Jessica Simpson. All these things may be true, but it is a measure of class to keep it to yourself. I like Jessica Simpson, but good grief lady, nobody wants to hear about your sex drive, flatulence factor or anything else. And please please please don't tell us how many hours you were in labor or any other details of the delivery. We've all done it. We know.


@joenamherst You talking bollox mate. Pregnant women are sexy with their massive arses - not to mention massive boobs. The wife just popped a sprog and she looked well fit when pregnant.

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Jessica Simpson Biography

Not a Major Movie Star By Any Means
Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson