Jessica Simpson Quotes: Swamp Ass, Hungry Vaginas & Other Musings on Pregnancy

by at . Comments
As Jessica Simpson's baby bump gets bigger, so does the girl's mouth ... in a manner of speaking. The girl's quotes about pregnancy just keep getting more absurd.
Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Pic

Don't get us wrong ... the Jessica Simpson nude cover of Elle was pretty, and we're happy she's excited for the birth of her daughter Maxwell (seriously) in May.

There have been TMI moments, however, as she can't go an hour without telling us ALL about it. Some of the best/worst Jessica Simpson pregnancy quotes.

Jessica Simpson and Jay Leno
  • "Kraft mac and cheese with Lawry's seasoning salt is the breakfast for pregnant champions!"
  • "Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins? Yikes!"
  • "The average person expels gas 15 times each day. The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!"
  • "I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hookah. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!"
  • "I just started referring to myself as Swamp Ass. Like, I have 'swamp ass' right now. I seriously had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It's like the bayou up in that region."
  • "I am definitely 'feeling intimate' ... I'm kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!"
  • "Oh my God, y'all. I just had a daydream that my vagina ate a bag of Skittles!"

I like Jes too but she is highly overwieght and that's unhealthy for her and her baby no matter how much love you have for her. I am sure she wants a healthy baby, not to try and scare her but being funny, making humorous jokes is all in fun yes is he a very pretty lady, but the weight she is caring is still unhealthy for her and her unborn.


I actually think all that she said is pretty hilarious. I've had 2 babies and everything she said about pregnancy is true!


Hey you know what? JS deserves a round of applause and so do ALL pregnant women for the stuff they endure!!


you know- thats the thing about being pregnant. you say how you feel and really dont give a fuck what other people think. i read everything she said and just laughed cuz its so true. this is my third pregnancy and they dont get any easier. shes just being honest, we need more people like her telling it how it is. not all of pregnancy is a wonderful magical journey filled with rainbows and butterflies! im a week away from my due date and im sweaty cranky uncomfortable 24/7 and unfortunately for my husband have NO sexual appetite. maybe if people were more informed of what pregnancy was REALLY like there would be less bad parents around!


I Love JS, shes soo beautiful and she absolutely glows while pregnant. I love her humor and raw honesty.


i love J.S. She cant joke and make people laugh without people running their chops ..... leave her alone haters....


I like Jessica Simpson, but I do think it's all much TMI...She's no "teen mom" & I'd like to see her conduct herself with some class. Her daughter may read all this someday & be embarrassed....


Whatever made anyone think that Jessica Simpson should be held to any higher standars than that of us "common" people in the world. I think she's funny, regular, and (frankly) just like my sister when she was preggers. Everyone should get off her back.

Avatar one ever said she was grown or mature. As I said, she has always had an extremely quirky sense of humor.. It is what it is. This is why there are so many dumb blonde jokes though...


I agree with 4everdreaming. Jessica is doing nothing different then girls /women at a girl party talking.. Its fun & its refreshing actually & its real. She is embracing everything pregnancy has to offer & not offer which is a lot.. lol I love her for it actually & for those that don't get the humour in it may I suggest that in future disregard anything Jessica.. You will save your self grief & time.I want to hear how many hours in labour its open discussion one for me was 6 the other 18 both entirely different. One I had water like Jessica & could float a barge & the other was maybe a cup full or sure seemed like it. Its great information for a woman that struggles & thinks hse isn't normal. Nothing wrong with sharing everything & keeping it real. Thank you Jessica.

Tags: ,

Jessica Simpson Biography

Not a Major Movie Star By Any Means
Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson