Jessica Simpson Quotes: Swamp Ass, Hungry Vaginas & Other Musings on Pregnancy

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As Jessica Simpson's baby bump gets bigger, so does the girl's mouth ... in a manner of speaking. The girl's quotes about pregnancy just keep getting more absurd.
Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Pic

Don't get us wrong ... the Jessica Simpson nude cover of Elle was pretty, and we're happy she's excited for the birth of her daughter Maxwell (seriously) in May.

There have been TMI moments, however, as she can't go an hour without telling us ALL about it. Some of the best/worst Jessica Simpson pregnancy quotes.

Jessica Simpson and Jay Leno
  • "Kraft mac and cheese with Lawry's seasoning salt is the breakfast for pregnant champions!"
  • "Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins? Yikes!"
  • "The average person expels gas 15 times each day. The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!"
  • "I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hookah. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!"
  • "I just started referring to myself as Swamp Ass. Like, I have 'swamp ass' right now. I seriously had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It's like the bayou up in that region."
  • "I am definitely 'feeling intimate' ... I'm kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!"
  • "Oh my God, y'all. I just had a daydream that my vagina ate a bag of Skittles!"

Jessica is so pretty and cute pregnant. I gained like 20lbs first pregnancy. I ate a lot during that pregnancy but I was sick as a dog the first trimester. My 2nd pregnancy I didn't gain a lot of weight but still ate every food in sight. The first two babies were born 8 lbs. 9oz and 8lbs 3 oz. My 3rd pregnancy sick as a dog, in and out of the hospital for dehydration. I couldn't eat because baby wouldn't let it stay down. Therefore I didn't really eat a lot during the pregnancy. The baby eight was 9lbs 8 oz. All pregnancy are different no matter what. Just because someone eats a lot don't mean they are going to have a big baby. Delivering big babies depends on how the women in the family delived. That I do believe.


I think people who say those things about pregnancy are either taking advantage of the situation just so they can be disgusting or they are just lazy...I gained 14lbs when I was pregnant with my daughter...I wasn't extra gassy and wouldn't be caught dead putting any extra salt on my food. Clearly she is enjoying gaining the weight...but someone needs to tell her that very heavy pregnant women and chubby babies are not normal...and not cute.


Well, she does have a way of telling it like she sees it, even if she's dead wrong. LOL


If anything....Jessica Simpson is one of the few celebrities far from thinking she is better than anyone else...And some women just grow larger than other when pregnant. So who ever's comment in the beginning that said she is unhealthy is full of crap because every pregnancy is different, I know from personal experience. My first pregnancy I gained only 17 pounds and thinned out everywhere (it was a boy) and my second pregnancy I gained 65 pounds (it was a girl). Just because she looks larger than most pregnancies does NOT mean that she is eating unhealthy...if anything she has the money to ensure that a nutritionist is helping her to eat properly. People need to stop putting her down....I laughed at every comment that she made and I personally have made similar comments myself...I was raised to be honest and so was she....who cares what she said....lighten up people!!!


I can't believe how mean people are! I think Jessica looks fabulous and is hilarious!


I cannot believe she still hasn't had this baby yet...My God she must weigh 500 lbs. already....i have never seen anyone look this heavy being pregnant....sorry, but she could have controlled her eating habits....This is NOT healthy for the baby...>What in God's name was she thinking?????? she looks ridiculous and unhealthy....yukkkkk


This is what happens to women who think they're better than everyone else they get pregnant and then they get HUGE.


@bonnie: really??? She gained a lot of pregnancy weight. A lot of women do. That's why she's "overweight". And I'm sure her ob/gyn us monitoring her and making sure she is okay.


I think she's adorable and enjoying her pregnancy, nothing wrong with that!


Jessica you are beautiful pregnant & healthy, My daughter who weighed 105 at the time she conceive is back to 105 after delivery of her daughter. (she gained 55 Lbs .all in the belly) I couldn't believe it. She lost the weight by walking . You have a staff that can help you with diet and exercise.Haters leave this young woman alone, and let her enjoy her pregnancy.

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Jessica Simpson Biography

Not a Major Movie Star By Any Means
Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson