Jessica Simpson Quotes: Swamp Ass, Hungry Vaginas & Other Musings on Pregnancy

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As Jessica Simpson's baby bump gets bigger, so does the girl's mouth ... in a manner of speaking. The girl's quotes about pregnancy just keep getting more absurd.
Jessica Simpson Pregnant Belly Pic

Don't get us wrong ... the Jessica Simpson nude cover of Elle was pretty, and we're happy she's excited for the birth of her daughter Maxwell (seriously) in May.

There have been TMI moments, however, as she can't go an hour without telling us ALL about it. Some of the best/worst Jessica Simpson pregnancy quotes.

Jessica Simpson and Jay Leno
  • "Kraft mac and cheese with Lawry's seasoning salt is the breakfast for pregnant champions!"
  • "Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins? Yikes!"
  • "The average person expels gas 15 times each day. The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!"
  • "I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hookah. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!"
  • "I just started referring to myself as Swamp Ass. Like, I have 'swamp ass' right now. I seriously had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It's like the bayou up in that region."
  • "I am definitely 'feeling intimate' ... I'm kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!"
  • "Oh my God, y'all. I just had a daydream that my vagina ate a bag of Skittles!"

BTW THG, it is hoohah not hookah. A hookah is a waterpipe you smoke out of...a hoohah is a vagina aka vajayjay.


@trash er I mean trish...stfu. It must be nice to be so perfect like you. Seriously stfu. Every pregnancy is different. My sister in law gained 60 lbs with her first and 65 with her second and she is a tiny woman. I gained 23 and I'm not a tiny woman and I didn't have morning sickness at all. Like I said....STFU!


@JuliaC you must not have watched her reality show. She always talks like that. It is NOTHING new.


@SoWhat I don't think it is so much a dictionary that he/she needs as much as it is Alcoholics Anonymous.


Have no idea what the person who posted 2x below me is trying to say. Get out your dictionary.


Go gal tac ke of e baby luv u


I luv u jessica tek grt of e baby


She looks like somebody just blew her up like a ballon. Haha. Her 'qoutes' make me rethink about her. Like why is she talking this way? Her family must be embaressed.


im so surprized at her quote s ,i always thought of jessica as being a lady , what a disapointment ,


OH, by the way PPL...if you have grown up listening to her or watchin her on shows, she will speak her mind no matter what.

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Jessica Simpson Biography

Not a Major Movie Star By Any Means
Sweet mother of G-d, Jessica Simpson has got some huge breasts. Holy frickin' $h!t. Look at those things! She also possesses a singing... More »
Abilene, Texas
Full Name
Jessica Ann Simpson

Jessica Simpson Quotes

They're just the cutest couple in the world. They are adorable. Anybody would wish to be them and you can only wish them well. Just being around them inspires love and everything I sing about.

Jessica Simpson [on her sister and Pete Wentz]

It’s fun to do a small film that might be released to DVD not because it’s a horrible film, but because it’s an independent film. For people to say Employee of the Month was a flop is ludicrous. We made the money back–that’s not a flop. For people to say The Dukes of Hazzard was a flop–it opened to $30 million! If these movies are flops, why would I still make them?

Jessica Simpson