Jersey Shore Season Finale Recap: Eye of the Hurricane

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In light of the fact that Jionni got Snooki pregnant, and multiple cast members have their own spinoffs coming out, was this the last ever Jersey Shore?

That remains to be seen, but if Thursday night's Season 5 finale turned out to be a swan song, our favorite roving gang of guidos/ettes could do worse.

Between an epic prank war, laughter, tears, bittersweet emotions, hooking up with two lesbians and even a natural disaster, this chapter had it all in Seaside.

Let's recap the season finale of Jersey Shore, THG style!

Here's to the Shore

The Situation gets upset when he sees Pauly D and Vinny's latest prank. Like, for real upset. Like, it "really, really, really" pisses him off, he assures us.

And by that metric, Operation Inside Out was totes a success! Plus 14.

Eventually, Pauly helped Sitch bring all his "ruined" belongings back in the house. Because that's what friends do ... to help others quit whining. Plus 4.

Sitch tells Snook the gossip about Deena's sister. Guy cannot go 15 minutes without gossiping. Minus 10 for being lame, Plus 15 for entertaining fans.

Deena finds a new drink holder. Fake boobs are so utilitarian. Plus 9.

Vinny becomes "friends" with two lesbians at the club, and it seems they're into him too. It's as if he's died and gone to guido heaven. Plus 20.

Vinny and the lesbians get comfy in the smush room. Is it just us or have the last two seasons felt like a softcore porno at times? No points, just curious.
Lesbian Threesome

"This is the moment when heroes are made," says Vinny. "This story's going to be told for generations to come." Maybe, but Plus only 5, because as Ronnie put it, "one of them [the lesbians] looks like Matthew McConaughey."

Later, Vinny relaxes after his first lesbian threesome. Seriously, what is there left to accomplish on reality TV, or in life? Time to retire now. Plus 11.

Deena confronts Situation for spreading rumors. Because that always works. Minus 9.

Oh no, the Tornado Whistle detects a storm a-comin' ... literally in this case! Plus 5.

Sammi tries to comfort Deena during the storm. Hurricane Irene, go home! Minus 24 for evoking all kinds of bad memories for East Coast residents.

Minus 6 more for Deena's big idea to drive away from it.

When the house loses power, Deana goes into a full meltdown while the others calmly go about their business and make fun of her. Plus 10.

Situation's Brother, Deena's Sister

The Situation's brother and Deena's sister meet the gang at the club. Those two are together! Plus 10 for the possibility of Mike and Deena being family.

We never actually find out what this "special talent" is that Dee's sister has in the sack. Although Frank apparently told Mike about it. Standard. Minus 5.

At Sunday dinner, the roommates toast to their last night. Sniff. Plus 8.

The guys go to fly kites. Seriously. How quaint and random. Plus 3.

The girls try to launch water balloons at the boys. Ineptly. Minus 7.

Ronnie prepares to attack, while Pauly comes armed with a Super Soaker. Really, girls, Plus 9 for the fun of it, but no way you were going to win this fight.

JWoww leaves the shore house with Roger. Love those two. Plus 5.

Ready 4 Battle

Vinny's mom is shocked by the state of the house. Did she not watch the first four seasons? It's gotta be different to lay eyes on in person, but Minus 12.

Let's take a moment in honor of Ronnie and Sammi, who just went through a whole season of Jersey Shore without explosive fights! Incredible! Plus 19.

Pauly D and Vinny hug it out. Such an emotional moment. Plus 8.

Snooki says goodbye to the duck phone. Perhaps the second most emotional moment of the evening. Hopefully we'll see you again soon, duck. Plus 4.

"Leaving the shore house is bittersweet, like, you're excited to go home and see your family and friends, but then again, I mean, the party's over. I mean, what am I gonna do with my life now?" - Snooki, who just answered that question. Plus 10.

Or not: "I definitely would love to be in this house fifty years from now. I mean, I can do this forever, like every summer until I'm 90 years old." Minus 10.

EPISODE TOTAL: +86! SEASON TOTAL: +434!

Jersey Shore ...

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